It has been 30 days of abstinence and i have decided to continue my recovery diary within this sphere.
I have a spare few hrs today and i have posted on peoples diaries which i hope encourages them but this also helps me in my recovery.
Days gone by those few hrs would have been spent as an empty man staring at tv screens and fobt machines in bookies doing my head in and leaving depressed with so many regrets and self loathing for myself.
Not anymore.
Such a different person now and i hope people around me are affected by my new enthusiasm for life...my random singing and general happiness probably drive them crazy.
Just a few weeks from being back on my feet financially which history tells me is a very dangerous time in my recovery. I will continue to post as close to daily as i can as this has been the key to being gamble free for this period of time and will look forward to words of wisdom from my fellow blighted gamcare members to keep me on the straight and narrow.
Thanks for the kind words on my forum so Here i am on your forum encouraging you. We are on exactly the same days which makes it worth while for me even though loads others are doing really well. I feel sometimes that 30 days is not a lot and then i think its a miracle. Its nearly a month and there are 12 months in a year and that is an incentive in itself. Think of it Dez we will soon be at two months then three so we need to keep going because WE cant go back to how we were we are different people now. Keep up the good work
Oh, hello again, I just dropped by your other thread, should probably have checked to see if you'd jumped across before posting! It was nothing important anyway!
Congratulations on your first month & I'm glad to hear you sounded so positive & prepared 🙂 Amazing how quickly things can improve after a lifetime of destruction! Keep doing what's working, as I said a few weeks ago, if I can do it, anyone can - ODAAT
Hi dez,
Welcome to recoveries section lol, and with 30 days of winning and a strong positive post, you are doing great.
Well done
Suzanne xx
Thanks Suzanne found it a bit difficult last night for some reason. Dying to have a little go maybe because a month had passed and i wanted to reward myself in a funny sort if way but i didnt, i couldn't and I won't. Started dreaming again well maybe i was before but couldn't remember them. I'm still waking up with the guilty thoughts that I may gave gambled the night before and then realise I didn't so feel happy about that
A day spent under my duvet yesterday....a horrible weather day. Finished nightshift thought about doing other things but seen the weather and retreated to my warm bed. I tell you this because before it would have been an ideal day to stand in a warm bookies,drinking there coffee being served by smiling staff who want to make sure your comfortable before you do your box in. Not there fault i know and not the bookies fault either its there business,it was my fault all along.
I know that now. So i gladly lay in bed ...snug as a bug in a rug watching a good movie...feeling smug.
Happy days with plenty more on the horizon.
Poblwc if you read this....stay strong!
Thanks for the positive comments above...appreciated.
Lets all stay strong
Another day down
Spent alot of time reading on the site today trying to learn
Trying to build my defences...fortification of my resolve.
Learning how to cope with urges which i know sit at my door just waiting for a moment of weakness.
Reading the family and friends section trying to understand the hurt and pain i have caused.
Trying to figure out how to put it right.
Answer....not gambling and being the real me.
Stay strong
Yes stay strong
Another day down
Team got beat tonight....boo!
Stay strong
Still hanging in there with no gambling to report however maybe a few thoughts but absolutely no way i will act on them.
Is it just me or is it amazing how you spend hrs and hrs gambling but when you stop you dont have enough hrs in the day to do things that you want to do!
How did we ever manage to gamble for so long.
Anyway i think i'm at the 38 day mark today and still going strong.
Not been easy but just making that break,clearing my head and writing my diary has been key to my success so far and please god may it continue.
Stay strong
Day 40 and still incredibly strong.
Read a few posts and realised that i will never really be able to lower my barriers as this thing is waiting to pounce.
Thankfully the weather is changing and i can hit the golf course regularly.
Stay strong
Day 41 and already played my golf for today.
Normally after golf i would drop into bookies and depending how lady luck was treating me i would spend 30 mins in there or 5hrs.
I so dont miss that!!!
Busy weekend coming upso gambling will be far from my mind thankfully.
And...as a wee treat to myself...my partner and i are heading to amsterdam for 4 days next week on a city break.
I think i deserve it.
Stay strong.
Well 50 days today and my team just won league cup final.
Just back from amsterdam after a city break.
So...why am i feeling angry and frustrated?
Really struggling with my emotions
No urges to gamble.
Any suggestions?
57 days today and still strong. Not sure why i felt the way i did last week but over it now. Had a terrible week with my car which has cost a fortune to repair which i have no idea how i would have fixed it if i was still gambling and with no money. Can of petrol probably. Anyway fixed now and have empty wallet which is going to take a few weeks to recover from but for a change i have something to show for my hard earned! Back to the football. Sad to hear judy's story puts everything into perspective....i will say a prayer for that little one.
Stay strong
61 days now.
Stay strong
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