now i believe i can do this

Day 1 which has been comfortable due to being at work. Saying that someone came in with a horse racing tipo and a few people were backing it....it crossed my mind for a few seconds then i let it go or blanked it. Anyway it got well stuffed which probably for me was a good thing not so for them unfortunatly. So on i go to tomorrow which is another working day so unlikely toi be any gambling issues until friday.

Ok day 2 was easy because i was at work but already today i am as high as a kite fighting an incredible urge to go and watch the racing in the bookies. Mr gambler is trying to tell me to stick to the horses,control myself and kill a few hrs and win some money whilst my other side is telling me it wont work as i will start betting in a frenzied manner within minutes then lose control and blow hundreds and for what....money to go again tomorrow. I know i cant win but this is a tough fight.

Well another tough month has passed were the urges have proved to strong despite putting new barriers in place and with xmas looming its not great. Met with a counsellor few weeks ago and although it was good to talk with someone i left without any answers. So...1st december is the start of 2016 for me and i am going to throw myself back into the gambling free mentality that i adopted early this year which i thoroughly enjoyed and look forward to retreiving. Today the triangle has been broken and i will plan something for tomorrow....read and comment on diaries and hopefully i will enjoy the festive period. Seatbelt on....here goes.

Today i will not gamble

Time to dig in and start again. Joined the 2016 challenge too.

Tough time up to christmas just could not win and money that i had saved over the year gradually disappeared till i was in a hole days before the christmas that i thought just 3mths before would be my best in a long long time. But alas not to be...spent a fortune and ended up stressing the whole period.

Since then i needed a few hundred to see myself through till end of january so tried my luck after a week off. Luckily i got into a purple patch and managed to get myself back on a reasonable footing. But we all know the luck ends....i knew this and i knew that when it came it was time to get myself back on the wagon so to speak. Today was that day and although it sounds crazy that i am glad that i lost a decent amount of money....i am as it means i can get myself into the right frame of mind again and have another bash at gambling free time.

Last year i managed 8 months which i thoroughly enjoyed and although that would be nice i will start with a day at a time and move on from there as i am thoroughly involved just now and it is going to get messy initially. But here we go.

Hi Dez... well done at coming back. Got to stop this now tho pal. 8 months is terrific but unfortunately it isn't good enough. Need to focus on a life on no gambler or this cycle will continue. It can last a day, a month, two months, 8 months... the cycle is bad... the constant is needed. Good luck pal. I wish you the very best.

Thanks change. You know sometimes coming back with your tail between your legs can be the hardest thing. Honestly thought whats the point theyve heard my promises before but thats just crazy thinking we are all here for the same reason and that is to try and stop gambling. Some will take to it like a duck to water others it takes time and well others it just dosent happen.

Officially day 1 today and i have been trying a bit of yoga and relaxation with breathing techniques thrown in as well as positive thinking and focussing on happy times. Hey its worth a try lol. Working next few days so gambling not an issue then.

Day 2 done and dusted. No problems today as i was working but still had a few fleeting thoughts which i quickly dispelled. Really important when i read the paper just now that i zoom past the racing pages as it causes me to consider putting an innocent wee bet on which really just means i will go to the bookies and do my head in!! Does anyone else have something that they must not see or hear which could put them in gambking mode?

Good to see day 2 done and dusted:))

Keep strong and keep going, and keep zooming past those pages,

Suzanne xxx

Hi Dez well done on coming back ain't easy Ray Winstone does it for me used to love his films but I used 365 mainly and he is beginning to P**s me right off.

Have you not thought about reading the metro has no raving in it and it free!!!

Day 4 and some thoughts creeping my way. All started at work with guys having bets on the football and as usual hitting the crossbar when it looks easier to score but as we know thats gambling for you. Difficult to escape the conversations and the chat about tipsters and successes of different punters. After all these years i should know better but the allure of that charming sweet talking mr gamble fills my head with potential victory when i know that as soon as i enter that zone i will lose because despite my determination to control myself as soon as i have losing bet then the chase will begin and their is usually only one winner from then on.

So with some willpower its time to download a movie to pass the next few hrs.

Literally hanging in there by my finger nails

Still fighting the fight

Keep the faith dez

Hi Dez as long as you've got a fingernail hanging on its a day spent winning by not giving in. You'll soon have a hand then a arm and in time your whole body will be in the gamble free zone.

I understand what you are saying about your mates at work talking about gambling I was in the same environment. Now I don't expect you to do this but I told my mates for a different reason I apologised to them because over the last 7 months I had been a P***k with money with them and generally just not myself. I told them as a block to be honest so I would not ask for more money. I never got a negative response and no they don't come and ask who I think will win they still continue involving me to a degree. Now that's not for everyone but thought I would mention it.

I see you downloaded a film was it any good? Ivegone a boxset mad and if you've not seen it I would recommend making a murder. It not a film it's a documentary try not to read up on it just give the first couple of episodes a go.

KTF

Well here goes i am about to jump back on the wagon. Yes money has got a lot to do with it but what i most need to sort is my head.

Last few months have just been full of crazy irrational gambling and it needs to stop.

So tomorrow is my birthday and i am going to give this every opportunity as i am losing the plot and my life is heading down that toilet. I have virtually stopped socialising,i am mean and sarcastic to everyone if i have any time for them and my girlsalthough i protect them are starting to witness the pressures gambling brings.

My question to everyone is....why do i feel the need to gamble? I dont enjoy it so why?

Stay strong.