Now or never - My thought process

Evening/Morning

Decided that after discussions with a gambling councillor and my wife that this has to be now or never. After 6 years of gambling I need to stop. Ive said this now multiple times and attempted twice. However I compulsively lie to myself, my family and everyone I know about being able to control myself and stop the urges.

I kept a secret account, scoured the internet for sites I hadn't signed up to, meanwhile self excluding from others. Moved money about in my accounts to hide big deficits in balances. Lied about needing to use money to pay bills multiple times and skimping on things that I really did genuinely need. Chasing a win that I would never get, chasing a loss that was major. These were all signs of a major compulsive gambler - Me. The reality is if I don't stop, my funds will deplete, my family won't be with me and I probably won't have a job.

Looking at my problem the only real people im hurting are my family and those around me that care for me. I could sit here and waste my money till the end of time but that won't help without my family to love.

So here goes with the whole "cold turkey" idea. I have an Iphone so decided that Betblocker was required for this. I followed the instructions for Ios installation and removed all internet browsers and gambling apps from my phone then got my wife to put a code in the restrictions settings to ensure I can't use any browsers other then the betblocker and couldn't install apps. Likewise is also on my PC to stop me from searching and signing up and wasting my money.

If the above statement in bold is you or sounds similar I really do suggest seeking help. I spent a long time lieing to myself about self control and in reality I had hardly any. Any excuse I could make just to gamble was acceptable to me. I understand comments may come back that I am not in a situation suitable to advise - Correct, but the reality is I have realised that I am lieing and hurting others and the main problem with my gambling is "Compulsive lieing" to cover up my mess.

Gambling isn't free money. Its not an easy way to be successful and the odds really are against you. The saying the house always wins is true, thats why they are still going because people like me put the money in, lose and keep going till I get a hit.

As a compulsive liar I could sit here and gamble away telling myself that another £20 won't hurt then you lose it, "but if I deposit more I can win it back"..£75 deposited, Oh ive lost that..."Surely I can win that back on blackjack if I big bet, I could really do with that money back"...£100 deposited, The house won..."Well ive got £200 left, surely the casino can't always win"...£200 deposited, "I know what lets high stake a slot, I watched a youtube video of a big win at that stake, it looks easy"...What do you know, ive spun myself out of money. Just from one initial stake of £20 I manage to blow £395 loss chasing off my card without thinking logically...Its DANGEROUS.

The reality for me is I am a compulsive gambling, a liar with a awful tendancy to loss chase. It may be different for others but I wanted to at least put my thought process out there, Its completely wrong and dangerous way to think. Of course everyone is different so don't think that my problems the same as yours it may not be. But stepping back and thinking about what your actually doing and who your actually hurting really does give you a reality check.

Just because it seems like a long road and a challenge it doesn't mean you need to quit at the first hurdle which is exactly what I did twice before being serious now. Im now going to live it out "cold turkey" style.

I really hope that if you do have a problem you seek help and advise from the trained professionals and don't take what ive said as helpful advice.

Best of luck