9th December
I have decided to keep a diary to hopefully help others and also so I can log my process.
I have stopped gambling for 56 days but struggling to get any satisfaction from this due to the severe anxiety not gambling has triggered. I seem to have filled the void from giving up gambling with constant thoughts and worries about my health. You name it and I think I have got it, might as well park at the Doctors as I seem to be having an appointment most days. Last few days it is tightness round the throat, apparantly this is anxiety and called Globus Sensation! Beat the anxiety and will beat the Globus!
I originally thought giving up gambling would be easy but then when I started to look closely at it, gambling had been my best friend for 20 years. It was my crutch where I turned to get away from the stress of life and to get the "buzz" that I needed to lift my mood. I gambled on everything, with hindsight it makes me laugh when I think me and a friend used to make paper airplanes out of £20 notes and whoever threw theirs the furthest won the £20! Crazy but compulsive gamblers don't care what it is they gamble on!
I have had thoughts that if I have a bet will it take the anxiety away but there is no chance I am going to try it out. I am in for the long haul and know that the anxiety will get better as time goes on and I find other activites to occupy my mind.
On a seperate issue great news to see the Australian Open pulling the w**********l advert that was going to be shown. Hopefully others will follow suit and we can start to watch tele without every other advert being a betting one!
I fear that gambling over the next few years could become a major world issue, bigger than both drink and drugs addication.
Time to get on with some work to keep the over thinking mind occupied.
Hey Struggling, welcome to the diaries 🙂
I know you had plenty of good advice on your other thread but figured I'd chuck my two pence worth in here. Are you doing anything constructive to combat the anxiety? I had horrible problems sleeping too & my GP offered me a tear off slip from his pad for self referral counselling (CBT I believe). As it was I didn't hit any of the indicators on the questionnaire & didn't go down that road although I did persevere with the happy pills past the side effects. Like you, I felt I just needed to sleep & whilst the pills stopped me being sluggish & gutted that I couldn't, they made me more alert than ever. Someone @ work recommended a salt lamp to me (they are pretty & inexpensive, & I have bought loads for family members to the tune of £12 each) & whether it was the placebo effect or otherwise (I don't really care to be honest) it really made a difference! I am also getting more regular exercise which was one of the things my GP recommended & I thought I was doing enough of @ the time.
There is no miracle cure, we still need to learn to walk again when we throw away our crutches & you are so right to avoid that 1st bet. It doesn't take anything away, it's like popping a plaster over a catastrophic bleed, may stem it momentarily but won't work long term. If you haven't already looked @ counselling, it has to be worth a shot. GA may also give you comfort too as chances are, someone will recognise your symptoms & be able to explain how they fight them.
Congratulations on your 1st 56 days & keep fighting - ODAAT
15th December 2016
After a very nervous start to the day yesterday it turned into a good one. Attended my first GA meeting and felt a huge sense of relief just talking to people who have been or are just starting out on the journey. If you haven't been to a meeting I strongly recommend it, forums are great but face to face talking makes everything more real.
Struggles with anxiety still continue but each day is getting that little bit easier. I know though once the anxiety is gone the gambling thoughts will come back stronger! I am prepared this time and not going to let it back into my life!
For the first time in a long time watched the football and enjoyed the game rather than being obsessed with first goal scorer etc! The "boring" life as I used to see it is finally beginning to seem quite good and far more enjoyable than the hectic, unsociable, selfish life of a compulsive gambler!
Have good day and remember one day at a time.
Great to see you had a good day yesterday. I suffer with anxiety too, for me it is like a knot in my stomach. But I am learning to accept it, and not run to the warmth and 'safety' of the casino. When is your next meeting? How many people were there?
Hi sorry not posted for a while. GA meetings are great, find the face to face really helps and just saying "my name is Nick and I am a compulsive gambler, no bet since last week". Also got number of people so quick text couple of times each week makes sure looking out for each other. If not been to a GA meeting do it asap, is the only way I truly believe a compulsive gambler can beat their addication. Two weeks till 100 days so looking forward to hitting that!
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