Day 51.
I've not had any urges throughout my recovery so far but last night I had my first ever dream about gambling (weird I know).
I dreamt that I was playing online slots (my biggest vice when I was gambling) and managed to win £3500 on one spin (that's the part you can definitely tell it was a dream. 😂). Anyway, having won this big amount, dream me decided enough was enough and I was going to walk away and cash out, except I couldn't. There was literally no way I could withdraw the money. It was just there looking at me, taunting me. "Look at what you could have", if you will. When I woke up from that dream, I was slightly confused but did not want to act upon it and try and gamble.
I've spent most of today trying to figure out what this dream meant. Why did I have it? Was it a test of my resolve? Was it my gambling thoughts just reminding me that, although I've made progress in my journey, they are still there? Was it just nothing?
Now whilst I've never been one for dream interpretation etc, I've come to the conclusion that the dream was a message to me. A message that, when you gamble, no matter how much you think you may have won, you never really win. That was why dream me couldn't withdraw the money. That dream has solidified my need to keep going on this journey. Has given me the assurance that I'm doing the right thing.
Gambling needs me, I absolutely do not need it and I will not be entertaining it ever again.
Stay strong all. 💪🏾
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
