Outside chance

Thanks Paulll for your post. It is very subtle how it can creep up on you and convince you things will be different. I know the reason I went back is because I was lazy in my recovery. After so many months temptation draws you back in again with no regard for how bad it once was. Key thing for me is to remain vigilant now.

Day 1: Thoughts of gambling have dominated today. I worked a shift to be proactive but kept thinking that over the past fortnight I've wasted around x50 what I earned today! Never mind as things can and will get better for me. Need to implement changes to so that I can reduce the chance of relapse such as filling spare time and not carrying a lot of cash on me. Really busy week ahead as I am training to be a teacher and, since this is unpaid, the rest of my time is spent at a part time job.

Thanks for reading. A betfree day.

Myles

Myles just had a look at your diary before I head to bed.

The guys here will give you good advice. Can you do me a favour and contact gamcare to see what advice they give you about blocking access to credit companies.

It takes guts to admit you have relapsed. Use that strength to get through Monday . One day at a time

Hi Stephen

Thanks for your post. When I mentioned credit it was money transfers on a credit card I have had since I was employed. They are not aware of my change in circumstance (now a student teacher) and credit limit therefore has not been revised. However I don't have any other borrowing (nor do I intend to get any). Was this something you were unsure of or advice for me?

All the best, Myles.

Yea I would bank to say your study so that the limit can be reduced.

Install k9 software on your computer to block gambling sites , self exclude and don't carry much money .

If you have a good friend / family member maybe ask them to mind your bank card for a while .

Go to a GA meeting in your local area , there will be a list of meetings online

Hi Myles, thanks for posting on my thread. Stephens comments are all worth acting upon.

You could also head over to the 'overcoming gambling' section of the website and join the 2014 challenge. This has helped me immensely in stopping the rot

All the best,

Scambling

Thanks Stephen and Scambling for your posts and advice. I will make some changes and look to attend a GA meeting this week. I know where they are in Manchester but I have never been yet even during my first period of abstinence. It will be interesting and I am sure it will help me. I attend AA also and so I am familiar with the group support structure - hopefully it will be equally effective in dealing with my gambling problem. Both of these addictions highlight my inability to moderate.

Day 2: Full day at university today. Not many thoughts about gambling and I completed some tasks which I have put off for weeks. Also financially I was given a bit of a lifeline which has helped my situation immeasurably. It buys me a few more weeks before my salary for my part-time job is paid. This is the first of many good things that will happen I'm sure now that I have finally given up hope of chasing my losses. Completely those tasks which were the source of great stress and anxiety is without a doubt the biggest achievement of the day. I will put down some short-term goals at the bottom of this post as I think it will help concentrate my mind during this period of early recovery. Driving home my friend (carshare) asked about going to the bookies but I made an excuse up. I will tell him over the coming weeks about my decision to stop gambling but for the time being I'm OK which is more than I could say 48 hours ago. Evening was bit of a write-off but needed to catch up on some sleep anyway.

Goal 1 (14/10/2014) : Send off forms for student loan

Goal 2 (20/10/2014) : Get up to date with lesson plans / evaluations & organise folders for course

Goal 3 (20/10/2014) : Write down my expenses and do a budget which considers repayment of CC

Goal 4 (27/10/2014) : Attend a GA meeting in town

Goal 5 (22/12/2014) : Target weight 13st 12lb

Thanks for reading. No betting today.

Myles x

nice post myles.

Keep looking forward. One day at a time

Glad to see Myles! You've done really well today. One day at a time we can do this. X

How has your day been Myles? X

Thanks for the comments above MM and Stephen.

Day 3: Non-stop day and a late update due to lesson planning. Covering lessons due to an absence but I really love what I am doing which is the first time I have ever been able to say that in my employment history! A singular thought to gambling on the way home but easily dismissed due to strong resolve at present. I know that this will not always be the case from my relapse earlier this year but at the moment the destruction is still fresh in my mind. My first goal has been completed but not sent so this will be a day late (by the time it's posted) though I'm still inclined to view this as a success since I have put it off for weeks. Couple of hours in part-time job after attending motivational speaker workshop at my college! Very interesting on public speaking which involved participation and was terrifying.

Myles. Better not betting.

Hi myles,

4 days today, well done,

Keep going and stay strong, because life is better with no gambling in it.

Best wishes,

Suzanne xx

How was day 4 Myles? Keep going , you are doing well. X

Day 5: Missed a day yesterday because I went to bed early. Shattered from lesson planning. No betting on either day. Today's big lesson went very well though was extremely nervous about it. Pleased that I have enough money now to get me to the end of the month and I know that one of the goals for the weekend is to write down how I plan on rebuilding my finances.

Thanks for messages of support.

Myles. Going strong.

Day 6: Friday at last. Had a lesson observation today which was rated as good, so I'm delighted with that. I haven't had a bet today which is the most important thing. The thought crossed my mind after work when I considered my plan for long-term abstinence. Half thinking that it was not a realistic aim and trying to make excuses for reasons to return to the old game at some point in the future. However I understand that nothing would change and that excuses were what led me to relapse in May. I know that I have a gambling addiction and what I do with that information is what will determine how my life will unfold. I know that I could have the anxiety and fear back within ten minutes and that is something which scares me greatly.

The difference over the last week in terms of my moods and well-being is enormous. Thanks for the continued support.

Myles. Looking forward and burying the past.

Hi Myles,

Great to read that you are feeling better for not gambling.

Take it easy but keep your guard up over the weekend.

Paul