Day 1 Acknowledgement
Shaking with nerves, at writing these words. I know that I am a problem gambler and I don't have a clue how to fix this.
Having a lot of problem gamblers in my family and being of a somewhat impulsive nature myself, I always had a healthy fear of gambling. Until nearly 2 years ago, when my sister won big on an online bingo site. My little one was quite sick at the time, I gave up her work to stay at home with her. Money was tight, so I stupidly thought what the hell. My sister won, so why not me. It has been a slippery slope of lies, guilt, and feeling sucidal.
I remind myself there is only one way this will end, destroying my partner and daughter's life and me losing everything. Although it's not enough to stop me from spending money on bingo and slots. This makes me feel like a pathetic burden on my loved ones.
I think I started gambling as a way out of the stress that I was feeling when my daughter was sick (she is much better now thankfully). I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago and currently going the assessment process for adult ADHD. Wonder if there is anyone else out there who has mental health issues and a problem with self control? Thank you for listening x
It's Thursday and I'm feeling really low. Waiting for payday, as we are really skint. I know it's my fault we are in this boat. Looked into gambling blocking software today and have given over my finances to my partner to manage. Feeling very ashamed of myself today. My partner asked me if I wanted to get my hair done, next week to cheer me up. I don't know how he can be so understanding
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