This is my first day and first note on a diary system. I want to quit the habit once and for all after the 12 years small bets but the past 8 months have got out of hand with big bets and for first time in my life I couldn't afford the mortgage once that happened I came clean to my parents and today is the day I say I started and promise to never lose a penny gambling again ( I just want to be happy again)
I have self excluded myself from local bookmaker and banned myself for life on online gambling sites.
I will be writing in this journal once a day/week to tell of my journey until 2018 and I promise to be honest even if I fail I just need to remember when I started and what struggles I face.
If anyone would like to join me on this journey I would rather not walk alone.
Thanks
So here it goes:
Day 1: It starts
Welcome Simon.
Excellent news you have started on the front foot with self exclusions and reaching out to parents. You won't be walking alone we will all be walking with you. Look forward to reading more from you
All the best for now
Deano
Thank you Deano glad you will be walking with me. let's beat the habit together 🙂
Day 1: so today is the day I said I would start as I was getting cash in hand. I thought I would be cheating myself to start day one without a penny to my name, I picked up some cash from my parents as they said they would bail me out only the once and I had to meet them in west end of London, After they left I made my way towards the bank which surrounded by all the flashy lights, 4 casinos all on one square, probably a bookmaker on every turn and amusements which are tourist traps but problem gamblers linger there... I passed by a place which I have lost thousands (I havent managed to be in west end much due to work location) I wanted to go inside but what stopped me was a face I recognised inside the arcade on the slots, it wasnt a friend but a fellow problem gambler who use to go there when I did two years ago, and it brought back memories to when I was there and all the losses that followed.
I walked on by and placed the cash I had into my bank and got the train straight home which is what I'm doing now as im writing this.
I have no issues with weekends as I am home now and the fiance will be home soon. We have arranged to go out with friends tonight so I can relax, I will just have to wait until Monday when I am back at work and in the city which is near the bookies which I have already self-excluded myself from.
I have to just be strong. I have a wedding to pay for so no more cash can go anywhere than making the day as special as my fiance deserves.
How you getting on Simonm?
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