Quitting on the back of a win / My Recovery diary

Been gambling for the past week.

Spent £50 on it and it's been caused by having to travel via a seaside resort due to work & lack of sleep.

I've finished that job now and so I don't need to go there again and I don't gamble when in my home town at all.

My business is probably keeping me too busy for my own good.

Surprised it's only a month since I went on a fruity. Seemed like a lot longer to me.

I've been lurking on here since my last post but somehow I've not updated this diary.

I'm down to only gambling in the summer at seaside resorts with my family now. I still get the cravings but they never pull me. I always remember that a win would just lead me straight back into wanting more and losing more and see gambling as a bit of fun now.

Since my last post I've had the most beautiful baby girl & have expanded my business massively to occupy 1200 sq ft of office space in the busiest area of town (I started my business off with £300)

Life moves very quickly. When i first started this diary I was living for the weekend. I used to go to night clubs around 3 times a week and used to drink when I was there. I don't really notice weekends any more & can't remember the last alcohol I had.

This all sounds like an exercise in patting myself on the back but life is pretty good.

I have money burning holes in my pockets nowadays.

I'm not gambling and haven't for a while, though I still think about it & I feel poisoned by it.

I don't even gamble to win, I just do it for the buzz & a win just prolongs that.

I should be so happy in life as I have a beautiful 9 month old and a thriving business but I just don't think anything compares to the buzz of gambling.

Maybe I'm just having as dark day, but even though I rarely gamble and gamble small amounts when I do (maybe 300 a year) i still think about it a lot.

Not gambling. Clearing up old debts & have a lot of cash saved (well £7k is a lot to me) 2015 is my year! Business is booming too

Not gambling, business made £800 profit this week and i've only worked for 6 hours...never had so much money but it's tinged with sadness as having this much money doesn't feel like i thought it would. Plus all i can think of spending on is branded food instead of own brand stuff....because ive been impoverished for so many years.

The mrs wanted to go to a seaside resort today to do something but I knew we'd end up gambling and remembered the feeling of coming down from the gambling buzz and it being time to go home.

We took our daughter to one of those "soft play" places for a few hours instead. She'd never been to one as she's only 1 and a bit and we didn't know the place existed. She had a great day though I do wonder where she gets all the energy from as she ran around for ages and didnt even need a nap afterwards.

Realised this diary is amost 4 years old now...i probably gambled for 3 years before that...despite a few slips along the way I'm definitely a lot better than I was and I often go months without any form of gambling and when i do gamble it's small amounts.

£2k given to me by the tax man today. Totally unexpected. Happy bunny!

Gambled maybe £40 this year in total (day out at the seaside)

Still think about it very occasionally but realise i could not win...and i have a lot of money anyway so whats the point.

I visit this site about 4 times a week and it helps.

Hopefully moving into a much bigger property soon, lived in a council flat for 10 years but we're going private as we've a kid now and the dog needs a garden. It has a 3rd room so we can have a bigger family.

Landlord accepted our application though i confessed to ccjs and a generally bad credit rating. I paid about 5k off of old priority debts last year. Hopefully things like that matter.

It'll be strange closing the chapter on my little flat. When i moved in i was pretty much wild. I had no confedence at all and barely ever spoke to anyone...and i never dreamed i'd have a girlfrieng and a daughter living ith me. Gradually i built up.

Gone from getting ready to go out pretty much every night in my flat to looking after my daughter every night & plotting the best path for my business.

Not really gambling related...but i don't gamble anymore so it's sort of a diary.

I can't believe i've kept this diary up for so many years....i never write anything down lol.

Not gambling...do still get urges now & then...i visit this website pretty much every day which helps.

fatuesque wrote:

Hopefully moving into a much bigger property soon, lived in a council flat for 10 years but we're going private as we've a kid now and the dog needs a garden. It has a 3rd room so we can have a bigger family.

Landlord accepted our application though i confessed to ccjs and a generally bad credit rating. I paid about 5k off of old priority debts last year. Hopefully things like that matter.

It'll be strange closing the chapter on my little flat. When i moved in i was pretty much wild. I had no confedence at all and barely ever spoke to anyone...and i never dreamed i'd have a girlfrieng and a daughter living ith me. Gradually i built up.

Gone from getting ready to go out pretty much every night in my flat to looking after my daughter every night & plotting the best path for my business.

Not really gambling related...but i don't gamble anymore so it's sort of a diary.

I can't believe i've kept this diary up for so many years....i never write anything down lol.

Sharing can be cathartic.

Even if its just sharing with yourself!

Not gambling...still think about it...i still lurk on here & read peoples posts.

One thing that strikes me is the amount of people looking for a "cure". From my point of view i will always like a gamble but don't need to actually do it. I think it's always in the background for peoples like ourselves.

Gambled £3 this evening in an arcade, had more on me but left after £3. It's not much but it's the principle really. Think i'm just stressed as my business is very much in demand but it's very hard to find staff & so i'm doing the work of what ideally would be done by 3 people. It pays off but still it's not ideal.