reborn on the 4th July

Castle,

Sorry to hear about your recent problems although it is nice to hear from you again.

I have been doing well this year and, as you know, things get better with time. The worry goes, sleeps get better and we begin to feel better about ourselves.

I was interested to read your post because I have not posted in a few weeks and have started to pull away a little from the forum. I have not planned on doing this but rather have just felt happy and comfortable with myself recently and been super busy with a lot going on in my life. Anyway, I had noticed that you have pulled away a few times and relapsed and from a selfish point of view this concerns me. I hope you don't mind me asking if you think this is connected.

Anyway, it sure is good to hear from you again and as always I will follow your journey with great interest.

Tomso.

Hi Castle,

First of all thank you for your kind and supportive words on my diary, they are very appreciated.

And well done for picking yourself up after a lapse and don't give up on yourself.

Your storey mirrored so much my own and after my recent lapse I said to myself "yes it happened but something is different" just like in your case, the moment when I've started just to get the little bit more to pay off in once what was planed to pay off in periods I knew already I can't stop it and it was stronger than all the love to my partner and friends and I've lost 4000 in the term of about 2 weeks.

2 weeks of chasing the Los a life in the dark full of depressions and regrets but I couldn't stop. Not before I got caught lying and confronted by my misses.

And there it was again this feeling.

I felt so little and disappointed with myself but also I was reliefed.

This is now 4 weeks behind me and even I'm not every day on here what I actually wanted to do, I keep reminding me every day what it felt like and I think it is what gives me the willpower to stay not just of the gambling, but also to think of what can I do to beware others from getting in the situation I've been in or to support those who are in it.

I feel stronger then ever before in fighting my own demon and it is a good feeling.

And I know it can't beat me as long as I stay focused and keep in mind that it just takes a blink of an eye to destroy everything I'm fighting for if I'm not.

I have the feeling mate it's quite the same with you.

And as long as you believe in yourself and keep in mind that some things we can do in a day and some just take a little longer, you will make it.

Stay strong mate and never give up on you.

One day at the time is the road of recovery.

Your friend

Wolfgang

Thanks everyone

Been a good week , my head is very clear and am remaining focused , once again this site has allowed me to regain my strength that gambling so quickly took from me

Support for me is so important but more importantly to support others that plays such a big part in my recovery something that I allowed myself to forget I let complacency play a part in my slip allowing my mind to trick me into thinking I could control gambling once again , the likelihood in the future this will happen again but that I cannot worry about I need to focus on now build my strength back up

Hi castle2 - Thank you for dropping by my Diary. So glad you are in a good place this week and feeling stronger.

Joanna

P.S. Have you ever though of joining us on the '2014 Challenge' on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page. it's a team effort and very supportive. Details are on page 1 - all you have to do is introduce yourself and then check in once a week - it's good to feel part of a team all pulling together.

Castle,

Great to hear you are feeling better. As you know, with time it will continue to improve. Keep making the right choices.

Tomso.

well done castle

great to see your putting the effort in

keep going

triangle

Hi Castle, Many thanks for your post on my page, as we all know this support really does help. glad you are feeling a bit more positive. I'm getting a lot from reading your diary to be honest. Many similarities.

All the best this weekend, for me bank holidays are real danger, especially with plenty of sport to bet on. I've Planned a 10 mile walk in the countryside with a mate of mine today, miles from internet and bookies, bliss. Have a great weekend. Stay strong. granite

Hi castle,

Thank you for your support as always. Good to see you in a better place, keep up the fight 🙂

Take care and speak soon

S x

Hi Castle

Keep strong and carry on gamble free, we all know it makes sense for a happier life, onwards and upwards.

Thanks everyone

Been a good weekend worked sat but off yesterday and spent it all with jess it's always nice spending that quality time with her , back at work today normally do an early but going in a bit later today it's amazing though how you still wake up at the same time

Moneys a bit tight dont get paid till a week on Thursday so that makes it easy not to gamble or have the urge to need to stay focussed when I get paid and stay close to this site

For now though all is well

hi castle

glad to hear things are going well and you have have a nice weekend. Payday the day we all wish for and dread at the same time but stay strong your doing great.

jess 🙂

Hi Castle, Many thanks for your post.

really pleased things are going well and sounds like other than the obvious money worries, you are feeling really positive.

I think getting in touch with a debt charity was the best decision i could have made. I was in a seriously dark place at the time, and i was really worried they wouldn't be able to help because of the fact I was in debt due to gambling. But they were so helpful and supportive. have a great day, keep being positive.

Hi Castle

Good to read all is well with you. Thanks for the post of support and encouragement, much appreciated.

Bless you castle & thank you

To be honest ( and I can be too honest but it's almost an antidote to too many lies I've heard) I've only read a few of the recovery diaries as they can make me angry. Sometimes anger cos there's people here that truly with every fibre of their being want to live their lives gamble free and will do everything to never place the bet that puts them back to square one, while some seem to play at it.

Anger is one emotion that I can do without adding too.

I have followed your thread since Easter last year when I found Gamcare. I'm so pleased your daughter is your light at the end of a dark tunnel. I wish my sons dad would at least put them somewhere near the top of his list of priorities instead of at the bottom

My boys are showing anger and hurt and on the few occasions their dad has attempted to make contact with them the children have vented their anger and hurt towards him. In return their dad behave like a petulant child saying ' he wouldn't bother contacting them again' or ' you won't have to see me again then'

Hardly helpful hey?

I hope my ex does hit rock bottom with an almighty thud. Not because I'm vindictive but because there are 2 boys that are absolutely amazing and he is missing out

Shelly x

Thanks everyone

The power of this site never ceases to amaze me the way it can unite people from both sides of the devastation gambling can cause , to unite as one and try to help each other in each others recovery is at times truly unbelievable

I have followed Shelly,s thread from the beginning and was instantly compelled to read and eventually was so inspired I had to post , with the damaging affects gambling has had on her family who could blame her to be judgemental but to her credit she has kept her integrity took on board all comments and even gone onto support others

I hope it brings her some comfort and hope for her future , I know her bravery has inspired me to another level and gives me more strength to take into my own recovery

What I do know is that gambling will take absolutely everything from you it you allow it and that's something I am not prepared to do