reborn on the 4th July

Exchanged a few texts last night with the woman I am trying so hard to get over it would be so much easier if she just extinguished any hope but she doesn't good thing is won't see her now till Sat but then sat is not going to be good , by applying the taking it one day at a time policy I am not goin to stress just goin to concentrate on today

I av to admit my head is not in good order today I'm also off and on my own till 6 so I will av to plan my day well , gonna read and post for a while got toads of stuff to watch on tv thats iv recorded will break the day up by goin to the library hopefully get some books and read

What I do know today is that I feel weaker mentally than I did yesterday I av to put this down to the texts exchanged they didn't end on a positive note but like gambling I need to stay strong and make the right choices , I know what I am doin is right for me and just need to remind myself of that

I can't believe how up and down my life can be I must remember though the main reason I am here and that's because I av a gambling problem and the other problems in my life if aren't sorted cud lead back to this deadly disease resurfacing

Hi,

Just a quick one, not going to lecture you, or try to council you .

Just wanted to say, what a roller coaster ride this journey is, up,up down then back up.

It is harder I suppose for people who do not have partners or family giving them support.

So I am sending you my support, all be it long distance, we can do this, you can defo do this, hope the library is full of books that can help , and at the same time fan the flames that have given you want to take up counciling.

Thinking of you.

Big hug

Dusty

Hi,

Thanks for posting on my diary!

Yeah pretty chuffed with myself to get through yesterday.

I'm sorry things a tough for you at present but we have made these decisions to make a better life for ourselves.

You have been really strong and i hope the library found some interesting reading material for you.

Keep strong , the good life is heading in the right direction, we have to stay strong

Take Care

Thinking of you

Lucy

Castle,

Your commitment to your recovery is an example to all of us. You are facing some tough times in your life and I cannot begin to understand how difficult your life can be, however, you are making the correct decisions all the time. You feel down and you come to the forum. This is our therapy. In my short time participating on this forum I have noticed how you use the tools available to you. You plan and prepare your day or the days to follow. I said at the beginning that I would steal as much information from other successful users and I must admit I take a great deal of information and advice from your diary without you knowing. Anyone can be positive when life is good and we feel strong and determined. What I take from your diary is how to deal with life when it tries to beat us down and everytime it appears to me that you fight the good fight and march on triumphantly to the next day.

Pleasure to read your diary.

Tomso.

Hi Castle, thanks for your support on my diary 🙂 I am sorry to read that things have been tough for you. You seem like a very positive person, so stay strong:) u can do this 🙂

Thanks guys for ur support feel a lot better today got through yesterday didn't do a great deal did go to library but got no books in on counselling so will av to see if I can get some second hand ones

No urges at all yesterday which can only be a good thing , on a late shift today which I normally hate but now it doesn't really bother me used to just clock watch till I started but now more chilled and enjoy the mornin

Castle.

Fella thanks for posting on my diary yesterday, you are right I have come a long way in my own recovery I put this down to the fact that plain and simply I really did hit my rock bottom and climbing back up the ladder step by step is for me made easier by the emmense support I have around me and not for a minute will I fall complacent about this. You are so right in your post yesterday that life is a difficult journey a road with many potholes and juctions to overcome and all I will say to you my "gamcare" friend is you are a true crusader in this battle to overcome your own addiction all the while amassing an army of fellow crusaders who want to overcome there addictions also and just for today fella remind yourself that No Bet today will make you and your world a better place tomorrow.

Duncs compulsive gambler NO BET today.

Well what a nightmare of a day , got up left flat at half five car wouldn't start had lo get a taxi to work 13 quid ! Go get my keys out to open up and on keys ! How and why. I av no idea hopefully fell out of my trousers and at flat so had to phone someone else up who had some keys they drove down give me their keys drove off put key in door wouldn't open ! Had to wait half hour for someone else to come with keys so an hour behind with work , I started to think to myself god when am I gonna get a break why all the bad luck ? Then I thought no not gonna let this get to me I had a choice to make to let it bother me ruin my day or fight and sort my day out , so I phoned my brother in law up hes gonna meet me at flat hes picked all parts up for a service , phoned parents up their gonna pick daughter up from school , left work early on tram back home gonna service car go back to work pick daughter up and hopefully everything sorted , I am very fortunate in my job that I can pick and choose my hours so that has worked well

When I gambled I always thought how unlucky I was horse falling at the last , gettin done on the line or a last minute goal and all it did was make me gamble more but I made the decision to do it

This mornin would not av made me gone out and gambled but it did make me make a decision to have a bad day and make everyone else av a bad day so I chose not to I stayed calm and thought it through and made the right choice

In the last 3 months I av learned so much by not gambling life really is bout choices we make and the affect it has on us and others around us only we can make those decisions and only us so no matter how hard life gets I will make the right decision like gambling will not beat me whatever happens in my life I will fight it

Hey Castle2

I kid you not, your morning sounds very similar to mine!

Went to start up the car this morning - flat battery! Get my neighbour to give me a jump start as I was meeting a friend for coffee and was running late. In my rush to get there, I park up in a pay and display and forget to pay! Duh! Don't think I have ever done that before! Then get back to my car an hour later to a parking ticket.. £60 or £30 if I pay in 14 days!!!

And you know what? In the past, I would have come straight home, got on the internet and tried to win it back... but instead I have come on here and realised that these things are obviously sent to test us!

Well I might be £30 down, but I won't be trying to win it back... it was just a very expensive coffee.. onwards and upwards!!!

Well done on your achievements so far Castle2.. you should be really proud of yourself! 🙂

Hi Castle2

Thanks for posting on my diary

Well done today!

These things are sent to try us i'm sure of it!

What a great choice you made from all that not to let it spoil your day but giving in!

You should be proud of yourself

Keep it up

Lucy

Hi,

A huge well done on making the right choice. Just think what would have happened had you made the wrong one.

Life really is full of choices like these and some choices are much more major than others.

You made a huge correct choice today, brilliant!

Onwards and upwards!

NT

Castle,

That is one heck of a day. You are correct however about your statement about choices. We can choose what actions we take when we are down or sad. The important thing for today is that you continue to make the correct choices. We have the luxury of experience and know that bad choices lead to bad things happening in our lives. It is a measure of how far we have come in our recovery that we can now worry about regular things such as the car breaking down or a bad day at the office. All people experience days like this but, in the past, our problems wouldn't end there. A short while ago our choices would have led to an evening of hard gambling. When the gambling was finished and we were tucked up in bed it wouldn't be the car breakdown or the bad day at the office that would fill our minds it would be the disastrous events of the evening that would have caused us most concern. Going to bed unable to sleep because of money lost. We wouldn't blame ourselves we would blame the terrible luck we had encountered that day. Just as well we continue to make the correct, safe choices because ordinary life is stressful enough.

Tomso.

Hi Castle, sounds like u have had a real nightmare of a day. Well done for staying strong and not gambling. You should be really proud of urself 🙂

stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hey Hun,

Thanks for the post.

Sounds like one of my days i do that sort of thing alot lol.Run out of petrol,lock car and customer keys in customer house,forget customer keys the list is endless :0)and although it steams you up you realise its everyday stuff and "normal" people just swear and stomp not go online or to the bookies and spend every last penny they have coz theyve had a bad day.

Your doing great hun keep that head held high and march on to tomorrow.

Stay Strong

E xx

Evening,

I go away for a few days and you turn into Frank Spencer. Are you too young, do you know who I am talking about . Ok he was the 70 version of mr bean.

It astounds me how one person can be going through so much , s**t in their lives and still not gamble.

You really are incredible , you must have soooo much strength and determination , I do seriously admire you.

Respect,

Dustyxx