reborn on the 4th July

Hi ya,

Read your last couple of posts, totally agree that recovery is not a one fits all thing in the slightest.

Like you I have very few blocks in place. I think with technology the way it is , that if I wanted to gamble I could. But like you I do not, and of this does not work then I suppose I will have to rethink it.

I to believe , if we can look into why we gambled and address those those issues, along with a determination not too , that we stand a better chance in a sustained recovery. But like I said each to his own , all we want is every one on this site to make it through today.

How each of us does that it up to the individual.

I too worry that something I write may trigger someone to have a bet , or take the wrong path. But at the end of the day, people can read a post and make a choice what there next course of action will be.

Enough of this seriousness , hope you have had a good day, will watch out for Becky on Saturday , and think of fairy princess when I do. ( go jazz , go jazz)

Dusty xxxxxxxxx

Honesty is always the best policy

3 weeks ago I posted bout a relationship I was having and how I had ended it for the greater good for myself and tied it in with my gambling addiction sayin if I gave back into her I might as well give in to gambling

Well today I gave in to her she wanted to talk had some stuff to drop off , again been honest I knew I would give in and wanted her to come round the feelings are still so strong

So how do I feel ? Well I can't take back what I said at the time I meant every word in a way very similar to after we av just lost money through gambling , it doesn't want to make me want to go out and gamble , I think time will tell I av no doubt I will regret today I showed weakness and that is a negative

In my life I av my daughter , work and one night out a week yes it can be lonely and sometimes boredom can set in which in itself is a recipe for a gambling relapse but this is no way an excuse for what happened today

My aim for this year was to get through my divorce survive financially and stay gamble free and realistically saw 2013 as a fresh start , that has not changed and so far this is goin well

Ultimately today I made a decision not a great one and probably has not helped me longterm , I also made the decision today not to gamble which is still a positive

For me now all I know is I went 3 weeks before giving in and I will take strength from this , that's the longest I av gone before giving in , what happens now ? I really don't know things av changed a little on her side but she has to make her decisions and I av to make mine

I will not beat myself up bout this my main purpose in life is not to gamble on some fronts she really helps on others she doesn't , lookin back I set myself too hard a task to beat 2 addictions running side by side but deep down I'm so pleased it was gambling that was not the one I gave into

Today was today tomorrow is tomorrow and I will see what that brings

castle. Fella you do show huge "strength" and you keep making ultimatly the biggest choice a gambler can make and that is NO BET just for today. For that be kind to yourself my friend and i and sure the other decisions in life will be better made for it. Duncs stepping forward never back.

Keep going Castle, keep focused on your objectives, don't let anything distract you or tempt you otherwise. Remember, life is difficult enough without the misery of gambling. 2013 will be your year, Steve.

keep strong castle, i totally agree with stegordon * life is difficult enough without the misery of gambling* Hollie x

Well done mate, just keep posting and talking to yourself through your diary it is obviously helping you, I draw great inspiration from you time and time again, keep going with your goals

Wilsy

Hi Castle, thank you for ur kind words and support on my diary it means a lot right now. Well done for staying strong 🙂

Feel ok today no repercussions from yesterday not really thought that much with it moving forward , definitely not stressing or gettin down like gambling I will av learned from my errors and be stronger for it

Did get a book from the library called contagious power of thinking quite interesting exploring our behaviours and how it has affects on others in positive and negative ways , a good reminder how when I gambled it affected me and more importantly others around me

Each day I choose not to gamble and i also choose my attitude which is to be positive however tough my day is this can only help me and others around me

Hi Castle,

Well done on yesterday and today1

your right it's the choices we make, i so nearly did tonight but with support from friends i stopped myself but hell it was hard tonight for no good reaosn.

Keep strong and being gamble free, it's the only way we will win!

Lucy

Keep making the right choices Castle.. you're doing brilliantly!

Hiya Castle,

Just wanted to say a huge thanks and a huge well done for your influence on both my diary and that of others. It is hard enough to beat our own demon let alone find the time to encourage others.

I admit I have been rubbish this week and I have let my own difficulties get in the way of supporting others. I notice you find that strength to continually encourage even on your hardest days. I guess it says so much about you as a person.

I thank you as much as many others surely do too.

Flagg

Thank u again for all ur support it means a great deal

Been off today but what a horrible day my beautiful kind daughter let me sleep in till 1045 I can honestly say hand on heart when the last time I slept in that late , her reward was a trip to the swimming baths she would live there if she cud

She is a constant reminder how why I don't gamble I would be utterly lost without her bless her she doesn't realise how much she helps me , she knows of my diary and asks questions but I just tell her it's a place where people help daddy since he split with mummy and in return I try and help them , one day I will tell her when she can fully understand even at 8 I know she won't think any less of me she really has got a heart of gold

Hi Castle

What a great post! Your daughter very obviously takes after you..

Keep going... you're doing brilliantly and are an inspiration to others!

LMM

Yo,

Fairies, the world needs more of them.

Look at the healing power one little fairy princess has!,

Dusty xxxx

Ps , gone off the voice, but tell fairy princess I have converted to becky and I will watch the final and cheer her on should she make it that far.

Now slightly starting to lose track of how long since I gambled I know it was a Monday , like a lot of us counting days and weeks is important in our recovery but has time goes by it doesn't seem to matter to much , time is so strange it seems like years since I last bel but yet only months has passed but with time it really does get easier far less urges and more importantly u really do realise what gambling does and has done , life becomes easier u start to fill ur time better and start moving on from that life of misery.

So all those months ago when it all looked so bleak time staying strong and makin the right decisions when life was hard does pay off

One of the downsides is I know consciously I av over eaten and gained bout half stone and that i don't feel comfortable with I think that is a side affect of not gambling , so that's gonna be another challenge moving forward