reborn on the 4th July

HI Castle,

Thank you for your post on my diary, i think for me this site is why i am 28 days into my recovery and for that i am thankful, if i rely on it to much for now im not going to beat myself up, I think its always good that I constantly remind ourselves the impact that gambling has on me emotionally and finacially, and also the positive effects that recovery brings to my life.

I have tried so many times to stop or control my gambling but its always been on my own, I have opened my heart and my arms to accept all the help i can get and its working and im not going to try and understand why, some things "just are".

Your a massive tower or support on here castle and for that i thank you.

blondie day 28

Hi Castle, thank u for ur support on my diary 🙂

Well done, u r doing gr8. U r so supportive of others on here and it means a lot!

I hope u get ur car sorted out and u and ur daughter get a wk away... u sooooo deserve it!

U should be really proud of urself!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Castle,

Thanks for the support on my diary again.

You are doing so well. It's people like yourself who make this whole thing work. Your attitude and commitment is something to be admired. Thank you. Regarding the holiday, don't get jealous, get going. You can do things very cheaply online if you look in the right places.

Take care,

Ian.

Was an excellent day today got another car a bit more expensive than I wanted but parents been really good bout it all and even said I can still av a bit more for an holiday for me and daughter

Then the ex picked my daughter up been right off as the letter from my solicitor arrived today for her ,she knew everything that was in it but started been picky bout stuff and sayin she hasn't any time to go to see a solicitor herself

Believe me when I say the sacrifices I av made in this divorce is unbelievable and she has come up trumps with everything , as much as it pained me to do it I have my daughters best interest at heart her life and welfare are way more important than mine I wish I cud say the same for her for her it's all about the money money money

So left me feeling so angry but so powerless as I av my daughter to think bout , I just hope it's the shock and realisation that it's really happening and will see sense and just sign the papers

Not a lot I can do though so just trying to destress and stay calm

No thoughts of gambling though that's the furthest thing from my mind

fella, i know all the hard work you put into not just your recovery but your life and all it entails will reward you in spades, castle you are making the right choices and must, should be immensly proud of yourself you earnt it. Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo honey ,

What a b**** this whole relationship malarkey is.

It's is difficult to look further forward than today. We are training ourselves to take this addiction one day at a time , but in long term I truly believe all this presure created by the divorce will ease.

At least you have got the holiday with FP to look forward to. Will it be, caravaning in Carlise, bedding down in Butlins, or my personal favourite building castles in Sandy Balls, yes there really is a place called Sandy Balls. The fairy wouldn't lie to you now would she ?

Take care, big big hugs.

Dusty xxxxxxxx

Hi Castle

Great news on the car and holiday front, bet your daughter will have just the best time with her super dad!

Know how you feel with all that's going on with the ex, my heart goes out to you but remember you have done this for your little girl and as times goes on it will get better.

You have been so strong and that break will do you the world of good

Soooooo good to see gambling is furthest from your mind, you are so strong and i just know will continue in the same vain

Here for you

Smiling Lucy

Hi Castle,

I'm glad u got a new car, u seem like such a caring person with ur daughter being the most important thing 2 u 🙂

She is going 2 have soooo much fun with u on holiday 🙂

U should be sooo proud of urself 🙂

Stay strong 🙂

Hi there good sir,

I often read your posts and think I write in a similar way. I think we miss the header out sometimes, we always remember the footnote but we should definitely put the header in to. I think your post should have read "Gambling is the furthest thing from my mind" Headline!! Then "Gambling is the furthest thing from my mind" Footnote!! say it twice my friend because your achievement is incredible.

Life is a tough test and it sounds as you are going through the mill at the moment, I know I wouldn't want the stress of an ex. However, you have so much good to show for not gambling and your daughter is like the blazing beacon of positive change in your life.

I posted myself the other day all the upsides and downsides after 6 weeks not gambling and I thought the negatives had more weight than the positives BUT so many people responded and said the exact opposite to me. When I read your posts the upsides definitely crush the downsides and as the days pass you get stronger and far better equipped to deal with those downsides.

I said the same to someone else earlier but keep fighting that good fight you certainly deserve some happiness!!

Flagg

A long day at work so was nice to come on and av received some lovely supportive posts just know everyone of them is appreciated

Very saddened by LMM decision to leave the site I found him very supportive and from what I ever read on other diaries he was always the same so I find it very surprising that he should feel he has upset someone

It can be very difficult at times posting on others diaries ensuring that the words read right and can not be took out of context sometimes what we really mean does not come out quite right to the individual reading it

I really feel for LMM as like him I would be devastated if I thought I had upset someone ers if it was to av an affect on there recovery , we all know very little bout each other apart from the stating the obvious

I myself am one big wind up merchant with such a dry sense of humour so I av to be careful at times as not to cross the line and even more so on here esp like I av said not really knowing any individual other than through posts

However the bonds we do build are vital in our recovery and long may they continue

My final thoughts though today are with LMM and truly hope the decisions he has made is the right one but the probability is now we will never know

Castle.

Those posts on your diary my friend are a reflection of your endevour and strength and resolve to beat this deasease fella.you are doing fantastic and inspire myself in the process along with many others keep making that choice and you will keep on inspiring.A massive well done I doff my cap to you Sir.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Not had no thoughts of gambling now for quite a while now just the mad moment of madness with BGT , I put this down to to filling my time , work takes up so much of it but then it always has so I can't really use this as a reason the main reason though is this site as I can spend hours on here reading and posting and like I av said before the strength it gives me never ceases to amaze me

Another difference is I honestly don't want to gamble the passion that feeling of excitement has now gone I know it still lies dormant inside me and always will and will rise if I am not careful

My life has changed so much in the time I av stopped gambling and more importantly I can see that change , I can see it in myself and in my lifestyle not by a long way is it where I want to be but so happy with the progress I am makin . Things are starting to fall into place and the things that aren't yet I know will be in time

I am beating this disease but like everyone else the fear of been complacent will not allow me to say I av beaten it , I also know too well that whilst feeling as positive as I do today life has a way of throwing things at u but as before I gambled I now know I won't I will deal with everything thrown at me and grow from strength to strength

So my battle with gambling I am beating and my battle with life I am beating and I now know the two run side by side with both can affect each other so much and for me there lies the key to all of this

Still I will still take it one day at a time make the decision each day and choose not to gamble

Why would I not ?

hi castle... i just checked back yours first posts in this diary to discover how long way you went towards today and how strong IS today your position regarding gambling and beating this addiction.... ist just amazing.... you doing really well.... you are one of the persons inspiring my in my fight against gambling... all the best castle. K.

Hi Castle, thank u 4 ur support on my diary 🙂

U r doing gr8 and should be really proud of urself!

Ur determination 2 beat this shines thru! U give me hope.

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Hi Castle

I have decided I can't leave the site as I would struggle to do this on my own.

Just wanted to say thanks for your post the other day and your continued support. It means a lot. Also, I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression but I'm actually of the female variety 😉

Stay strong Castle, you're doing great!

LMM