reborn on the 4th July

Yesterday went well no urges just chilled all day didn't go out until my daughter arrived at 4 got another busy day today so another gamble free day now on day 18 of my second attempt , one of the important things I av learned second time round is that as time goes by the memories start lo fade a little of all the misery and pain brought me complacency can kick in and u start to kid urself that u could start to control gambling av a small bet maybe just at weekends just a fiver it won't hurt , well that was my downfall last time it started at a fiver that lost and the chase begins and b4 u know it ur back to that person who takes over u lose all control nothin else matters and then all the strength u had is wiped away by this disease

I learned by my first attempt goin oh so wrong and I now know the only way is te never gamble again like my thread says I will get it right this time

Well since I dropped my daughter off at half 3 yesterday I av had such strong urges I think cos I am on my own now till bout 5 today and all the football on I usually work Saturdays , so need to get through today am back At work tomorrow and hopefully can get back into a routine , it's been nice been off but previous week offs av just been gamble gamble gamble so overall a tough week and will give myself a bit of praise for getting through it just gonna keep lookin forward and take it day at a time I am gonna beat this disease

Today has been my toughest day to date had to fight the urges off tried to keep myself busy but my mind wandering knowing loads of football and racing on I knew I wouldn't give in to the temptation but it really knocks u feel quite low ,my daughters here now so goin to shake myself and give her the attention she deserves , tomorrow I will look back at today with pride thatch fought my demons off but I do need to learn from today and plan things better

Castle well done mate.....i know only to well the meaning of the 'sporting saturday'.

Keep going the benefits are endless. I gain strength from your sharing of experience......thank you for that.

Stuart

Just thought I'd drop by and say hi and see how you're doing. As stu said, I feel we can all get a little inspiration with the support we can find here. Best wishes

Any one of us only have one day in recovery. Today was good for me. Tomorrow is not here but some days I struggle! I have trodden this path many times before so in no way infallable. It does get a little easier some days but those urges strike it is just a case of riding the storm. Think of all the effort you have put in to get thus far. Wake up each morning and thank yourself for getting through the previous day and ask for strength to get you through a new day.

Take care

Back at work today so a relatively easy day on the gambling front no urges at all , really pleased with myself for resisting them yesterday that was my hardest day so far felt low at times but picked myself up came onto this wonderful site and felt loads better everyones support is greatly appreciated hope everyone is doin ok

Feel well back on track determination is strong no urges so weird how different days can be Saturday was just a battle of the mind and took all my strength and energy can see how it left me feeling low and down as always will try and learn from it . 3 weeks today since last bet just goin to keep goin a day at a time today is good hopefully tomorrow will be but I'm up for the fight I will beat this

Off today so need to be strong today I had plans but they av now gone out of the window so goin to av to keep myself busy , no desire to gamble and av no urges so hopefully the demons will stay away

Morning castle. Well done for abstaining. Hope you find something amazing to do today and look forward to reading more good news.

Another good day yesterday , was a little frustrating had to av a door put back on kitchen unit this guy arrived at half ten and took him nearly 3 hours to sort it by the end I cud feel myself gettin agitated wasting 3 hours of my day not doin what I wanted to do it reminded me of the time I had waited in all day for a delivery that never turned up I felt cheated of a day. That night went out and blew 200 quid at the bookies , so yesterday I just let go didn't let it bother me , I know I need to stay strong and not give in and that's just with gambling every positive decision I make now gives me strength like us all I av lots of tough personal stuff coming up and I am going to be at my strongest so making the little ones now is a good platform for moving forward

Had a long day at work yesterday so a good day no urges , back on early this mornin and just finished now on school run not seen my daughter since dropping her off at school yesterday mornin so lookin forward to seeing her really miss her when don't see her she's now 7 well 8 next Friday and growing up fast she's a good motivation to stop me gambling I really don't want her growing up knowing her dad is a gambler a loser never any money I av always spoiled her which is mainly cos I wasn't funny really my parents weren't spoiled and we're brought up hard so that's how I was brought up but it's made me go the other way the only memories I av as a child is been smacked or shouted at I'm sure it wasn't all that bad birthdays and xmas was always treated well but there was no love which has been missing all my life got married for ten years was happy well thought I was in the end realised was just plodding along someone made me realised I cud be happier so I got out that never worked out but av no regrets just showed me I cud be happier the gambling has been there all my adult life and it's ruined me financially or it could av , my life is so much better without gambling in it I just need to try and get the final pieces of my life together and I will

Hi

Just read your whole diary, it shows great honesty and determination.

Try not to get to hung up on the last relapse , it happened you learnt things from it. I commend you for getting as much help as you can , not only using this site but the counciling.

So good for you, just take it day by day , the days mount up to weeks , months and then years.

You come across as a good bloke and a great dad. For that you should be proud.

Dusty

Hi

Thank you for your reply. My diary is really not that exciting , may need to use it as bed time reading to get you off to sleep lol

Take care ,have a gamble free weekend

Dusty

Good evening

Thank you for your kind comments, and yes I was incredibly blessed last week that people on here took the time to help me through a very difficult week.

I hope I respirate that to other here as that is what makes this site work for so many.

Have a great weekend,

I to look forward to reading where you journey takes you, and what pleasures your daughter can bring to that journey.

Dusty