reborn on the 4th July

Feel better today just finished work and off tomorrow so time to recuperate do all sorts off hours but the good thing is I can do what I please so I work them round my daughter with picking up and takin to school , just picking her up now then she's got ballet later so not be back at flat till bout 7 keeps me busy then tomorrow got loads to do in flat I like my flat spotless can't bear anything out of place and can't settle till it's all done whether that's another form of an addiction I'm not sure , be glad when Cheltenhams finished not tempted me to gamble but it's just been there in news I suppose a distraction that's not normally there

Castle,

Good to see you are doing well. You seem focused on the positive things in your life like your daughter, which is great. I was never into the horse racing but I have noticed others mention it. It makes me happy to read so many people comment on it but still sure of their desire to not gamble.

Keep up the good work.

Tomso.

just keep your focus on your daughter and remember today is another day without you gambling. well done x

Hi Castle,

Thanks for the post on my diary. You are doing very well. You're right GC is our lifeline.

I watched the first 3 races at Cheltenham today. It was my day off work today.The first time I have watched since December. It did nothing for me. Except come the 3rd race. I thought the favourite was easy money. I thought about just having a couple of hundred on. I had to seriously talk myself out of it.

It won and I laughed. 'Cos I knew I would have been looking for another winner in the 4th.

The secret is my friend, don't watch, don't get a paper and avoid any temptations . It's still there for me and always will be. It just becomes easier to resist with time that's all. So the best advice I can give is never get complacent and always be on guard. One slip is all it takes. If you get the urge, get straight on here and talk to people who understand. I may seem like I have this beat but believe me I am still vulnerable just like you.

Let's stick together and beat this.

Best wishes mate. Ian.

Couldn't agree more complacency is the key for me now it does get easier but with relapsing lait time it can happen hopefully I av more strength and knowledge this time and def more support , I av to say Cheltenham bothered me more through wanted it to but I can see a difference with myself today than I was on tuesday a lot stronger now and a lot of that is fighting the urges but was full of cold then so that didn't help , what really helped the most was comin on here lait night reading posting and supporting that is the best lift for me , gonna av a nice chill day today and of course a gamble free day

Back on track Cheltenham gone mindset is good done a lot of thinkin when the time is right to go it alone , Ian is the 1st on my time on here to announce they are gonna try without gamcare and good luck to him for me I will be round for a while yet need to sort divorce out and ensure I can financially manage , I also want to help others as much as I can to try and put something back into society of which very little I took out I suppose to try and make something of my life and help to ease the many regrets I av of the years I av wasted gambling the money I av excepted and look forward to the challenge of hopefully saving money something I av never done but the years of over things in life I cud av achieved

But for now I am happy to take it a day at a time and not gamble and be stronger for it

Hi

Thank you for your post. Yes it has been a tough week for us all but it appeared to be only the odd casualty

I like you do not feel any where near ready to go it alone, and will really miss Ian , Smiler and Ade

I have no doubt our time will come , if we keep doing what we are doing.

It is great that you want to help others but lets not forget that this addiction needs us to be a bit selfish and ensure we look after ourselves first.

Stay well stay positive.

Take care

Dusty

Dusty u always leave me with so much food for thought , yes I agree I think I do need to be more selfish but this is the dilemma all my life I av always put others first I have used this skill to make people happy and it's worked untoward advantage with work I am manager in retail and look after 35 staff and av learned over the years that managing people is bout managing there feelings to get the best out of them , the only time I av been selfish is when I gambled not cared for others shown no respect for money and def no respect for myself , so yes I need to be more selfish to get through this but the selfish side of me relates to gambling , I suppose we are who we are yes I would love to av that tough streak in me but the reality is I haven't , I will try to find that happy medium and that's what I'm lookin for , again all I know for now is today I will not gamble

Yo,

You sound like my type of boss. Got a job mate?

I could don my fairy wings and sell washing up liquid to your customers.

Between the 2 of us we could send you targets into orbit . Lol

Dusty

With the targets they set me ur hired ! Usually look for flexibility and reliability think I will add fairyability to that list now ! Just finished work like working Sundays can get loads done gonna read and post for a while then early night up at 5

7 weeks still goin strong so much harder though than my first 7 weeks on my 1st attempt had so many more ups and downs this time loads more urges at least once thought I would relapse again but fought those urges and feel so much stronger for it still a tough road ahead but mindset is good at the moment really trying not to think bout the future and am taking that each day and see what comes whether that's cos I know I need to get divorce started and trying to put it off as long as possible I need to phone solicitors and get the ball rolling I know once it's all done I will be in a much better position

Hi ya

7 weeks , well done. Everyday in recovery is like eating spinach building up your strength , to cope with the stresses or urges that are our lives.

Good night , sleep well, Castle ( aka popye)

Dusty

Thanks dusty , actually 50 days today sounds better than 7 weeks but most importantly not gambling , not really with it today can't get myself motivated not in a bad way just not got a lot of energy see what tomorrow brings

Hi,

The hours you work you are probs asleep now, so maybe you will get this before work tomorrow.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today, and can get a bit of a break.

Try not to work to hard.

50 days does sound better than 7 weeks. But I will be liking the sound even more of 100 , when you get there.

Dusty

Castle2,

I haven't posted on your diary for a while. I have continued to read it every day and your progress is outstanding. 50 days gamble free sounds amazing and I look forward to reaching that milestone. I read through my own diary tonight for the first time in a while and it reminded me how often you were there to offer a kind word. Many thanks for that.

Tomso.