reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle

Thanks for your supportive comments on my diary and well done for 50 days! Whilst our losses and despair regarding our disease will always be within us I appreciate reading the joy of success in your diary and it inspires me to not look at recovery as a step away from a bad life but more as a step into a good one. constantly looking at the person we don't want to be but were is depressing but how great is it to look at the person that we want to be and the happy life we are beginning to live.

So once again thanks and well done

Becky

(Scampimus)

Gutted today heard the news bout mark it really makes u think , he was so supportive to me in my early days I couldn't praise him enough on his diary , every post I put on his diary he replied to everyone always made the time for everyone it's a shame others on this site don't do the same , I always reply to every post out of courtesy and the majority of us do but there is a minority who don't , I post a lot on others esp new ones I do it hopefully to support them but remind myself that I was where they are and remember how hard it was

This must be my 1st slight negative post and I apologise for this but like I said with mark it makes u think really am shocked and upset just shows what bonds we can make on here without actually knowing people

On a positive note today I did not gamble and with mark this has made me even more determined

Hi ya

Your right, in what you say. Such a sad day today, but through this like you said I am more determined not to fail.

It is great that we both try to support others, you with the newcomers, me with some of the others. I suppose you get out what you put in.

Any ways

Take Care

Dusty

Hi Castle

Sorry to read your thread today, I am sure those you leave a comment for really appreciate it and it helps them, some will reply others won't but if you take lots out of doing it that is the main thing, you are obviously a very considerate and caring individual and you take great pride and strength from helping others, which ultimately helps you as well, always reminding you as you type of obstacles that could reappear in front of us.

What happened to Mark, was it someone close on here that has unfortunately had a relapse?

I hope to read your diary more often, I myself spend 9-10 hours in front of a computer a day, so when I read this forum I only look at a few recent threads and make comment if my eyes don't close first. I am always pretty tired by the time I update my diary and maybe over 50% on here are quite quiet people and don't engage conversation much, instead doing their diaries and reading your and other peoples comments on there diaries.

Keep up the good work it is people like you the site needs and appreciates

Andy

(Wilsy)

PS and you too Dusty, I notice you help many a person on this site, good on you both

Obviously as I am new to this sight I didn't get a chance to speak to him but I'm still sorry for the loss of some1 who clearly helped a lot of people and for his family. As u said about me writing on others diaries, partly i know how much i value the support and want to pass it on but other than that I find it really helps me. The more people you speak to and hear their stories, the more you can learn from their mistakes and be inspired not to relapse. This site is amazing aswell as not wanting to ruin my own life now I feel like I don't want to let down all the people that have been so supportive to me.

Hope we can all recover for Mark keeping in mind the idea that lifes too short to waste our lives. If we are given the opportunity to live while others aren't lets live happy and fulfilling lives

Becky

(Scampimus)

Hi mate

Was gutting to read about Mark. I'm pleased that he managed to get home before it happened but it's tragic that he and his family didn't get to spend enough time together when he was on top of things. As you say - it's a wake up call for some of us. The hands of time are ticking and I know many of us hear them loud and clear. Strength to you and yours as we journey on.

Good Morning,

Thought I might catch you before you went off to work. That is of course unless you are on your days off.

Been thinking fairy thoughts about you, that sound really creepy but you started it lol.

Hope you are ok today, think we are all reflective about Mark. He touched so many lives, in his memory we need to keep fighting the good fight and through our support of others encourage others to do the same

We can not get them all on side but those that we do will make it worth while.

You take care today, or tomorrow depending on when you get this post.

Dusty

Do you sell , extra large wings in your shop, if not you may need to order them in just in case all that recognition goes to my head.

: - )

Been off today , my final visit to the counsellor not been for 5 weeks had to cancel last visit I had 8 appointments in total spread over bout 6 months , to summarise I went there wanting to know the trigger point to why I gambled I was blaming my childhood and lookin for reasons why over the 8 sessions I found it helpful to talk to let it all pour out with no one to judge tried regression and looked at every possible angle to why I gambled , in the end it was so simple the only person who I cud blame was myself I made the choice to gamble yes I had reasons why but ultimately it was me, walking out of that door for the last time I now decide what decisions I make so for me counselling has helped I now know what to do as 6 months ago I didn't , I know I need to be stronger in life but that's the confidence that gambling as knocked out of me the confidence is comin back and it will make me stronger all my life I av put others first and I will continue to do but not all the time I am goin to put myself first which I deserve to do and rightly so

We make hundreds of choices each day.

The most important choice that we will ever have to make from now on is whether to gamble or not.

These are the choices that WILL affect how the rest of our lives pan out.

GT

Hi ya,

I think it took me a long time and a month in rehab to get to that point i blamed lots of thingson my addiction , my mother the alcoholic , my crazy life , everything that I saw as negative,

Then one day the penny dropped and I realised that I HAD to take responsibility for my actions, because if I didn't it only gave an excuse to go back to it.

I see a very bright future for us both.

Have a great weekend,

Mystic Dusty

Mixed day today just finished work and now off for a week so good news there but just had car checked out and my worst fears were confirmed the gearbox is on way out 700 quid to sort ! Now normally this would av made me think right I need to win some money cos I don't av enough but now even though I def don't av enough I won't be doin that , got a couple of months left in it yet I hope so no need to panic , my sisters bloke is a car dealer so gonna get some advice of him bout trading it in while I can , all I know for now is I'm not gonna worry bout it nothin I can do for now just as well I am off next week and can get it sorted then

Hya Castle

It's so good to see how you can now handle a stress like ur car. like you said when gambling our instinctive idea of solving a lack of money is to win it which inevitably turns what was a small problem into a much bigger one. This shows good progress so congrats.

Becky

Morning mate. There is never a good time for these expenses to come along so you have my sympathies. You'll find the money and it's great to read that you're dead against trying to win it. If only it was that easy ... 🙂

Have a great week.