reborn on the 4th July

Meant to add to my last post that the threads coming to an end next week. Can't believe it's approaching 90 days already. Day 90 falls on next Saturday so gonna make the final check in on next Saturday. Look forward to seeing you at the finish line.

Hey Castle, thanx for popping in this lovely morning:-)

You are so right by saying that this discusting addiction takes a lot of our personality from us..and self believe and confidence is very important in our lives.

I do get a bit of it back, and i'm becoming braver and more confident in my decisions at work and at home....appreciation....nah, not where i work...i think they look at 'thank you' as swear word lol...

It's just never enough...and as more you do the more they expect from you...

Hope all is good with your 'challenge' at work and you are confident in your moves and decisions;-)

Very big well done on ur continued abstinence...real inspiration:-)

Take care and have a good day

Sandra x

Castle,

I was lying on the floor with my son sitting on my back as we watched E.T. at the weekend. I could feel his whole body tremble as he was breaking his heart the poor soul. Can't believe they never made an E.T. 2.

Anyway, sorry to read about more demands being placed on you at work. Life can be rubbish. Who makes these decisions at work eh it is as if nothing is ever enough. Going through a tough time at work myself. Our biggest customer is buying from abroad to save themselves a few pounds per item. We are twenty minutes down the road from them and drop everything for them anytime they need our support. We have been a key supplier for them for 15 years and as a company give them no issues whatsoever. The world is changing what else can I say. Unfortunately, they are a massive part of our business - to big for comfort. Hopefully we can ride it out.

I know you are not really one for counting days but I would love to know how long you have went without a bet. I look forward to congratulating you on your one year milestone which I was thinking might only be three or four months away.

Our teams are in free fall. Our manager has two or three games to keep his job but as for your team you guys appear in big trouble. We have the usual list of candidates being touted as the next manager and the usual talk that the manager has lost the dressing room. I hate that. Modern day players drive me mad. They are losing every week the manager questions their attitude and desire and all of a sudden they don't like this and now the chat is the senior players want him out.

Tomso.

Thanks everyone

Had to log on and post to release some stress and let it all out , managing staff is just so difficult I have a member of staff who's always been hard work and had to keep on at there very hit and miss with there performance sheer laziness most of the time , recently they have had some time off through depression came back for a shift then went back off again I followed all the procedures supported them got helped them back on a phase return , been back bout 3 weeks now and still no better performance wise I gave them the benefit of the doubt , on Monday they were on a twenty minute break and took thirty I wasn't there but my team dealt with it well pulled them in and questioned them they denied it making excuses then only after showing them CCTV did they admit it then only to say another member of staff is doing the same they then went on to lie and say they had spoke to me about them and I had just shrugged my shoulders basically deflecting the blame elsewhere to say I was not best pleased is putting it mildly , today was their next shift so I invited them in to discuss the matter what I really wanted to say to what I had to say we're entirely different I had to stay professional , I reiterated bout taking extra on their break then trying to deflect the blame on others and needed to look at her own performance emphasised how much support they had been given off course then the tears started more excuses came out saying they wasn't still right from been off , I took a deep breath regathered my thoughts explained that they should go back to the doctors and let them decide offered to look at their shifts to try and help them but I did make it very clear that poor performance going forward would not be excepted and improvement was needed I also put the point forward to them how fortunate they were to have such an understanding manager and that there were many others that would not be so understanding , afterwards I really thought I dealt with it in the correct manner and left work to pick jess up , work have just phoned and informed me that this member of staff has told two others that tomorrow is their last shift then they are off for a month ! I am in disbelief I certainly wouldn't have minded if they had gone to the doctors and then been signed off but to make their mind up before even going and have the audacity to tell others is just unbelievable

I sit here now questioning myself I might as well give them what for , that's now 3 staff off with stress and depression and in my eyes none of them don't know the meaning of it , put that with another member of my team who worked whilst their mother was in hospital in a real bad way the commitment and attitude they showed speaks volumes to me

When I first admitted my addiction I blamed others around me deflecting the blame from myself so this now wears very thin with me when others tried to use it , and stress which something I went through with the divorce is something else I find hard to accept in others

I can feel the stress whilst writing this post and that's why it's important to get it out the alternative is not to deal with it which of course is my trigger for the urges to come and the option to gamble , that won't happen today and I will make sure it won't tomorrow if it does another long post coming my way to remind me

Been meaning to post jess had a text from a casino for a thirty pound free credit it begs belief but that's another story for another day

Yo,

Hoping you have had a better day today .

Advice my dear friend is to make these meeting semi official and have a note taker . Get the notes read back at the end of the meeting and ask the employee to sign them .

Then if you need to performance manage them , you have the necessary paperwork to back you up.

And more importantly if they say we never agreeded that. Or !Mr Castel said that I could come in when I feel like it a total fabrication then you can prove them wrong .

If you already do all this , sorry just though this might help .

On to something different .....

Had a difficult situation to deal with today, and you my friend had gifted me through sharing your experiences the chance to step back and not go hell for leather .

The exchange of contracts on the shop has hit a problem . The new owners agreed a new lease with the landlord 2 weeks ago , but no one told the landlords solicitor . So he now needs 2 weeks to put a lease together at a cost I might add ( not down to us to pay thank goodness) . It's frustrating and as you know it's like purgatory this dam waiting game

But I stayed calm, remembered you'd been through much worse , so not quite taking it in my stride , but not letting it get to me that much.

At the end of the day it will either happen or it won't and what ever eventuality I will cope .

Anyways hijacked your thread. but really wanted to thank you for well your honest posts when you were struggling with the divorce

They helped me a lot today .

Thank you

Shiny xxxx

Hey Castle,

Wow my friend, thank you so much for your honest post. It just opened my eyes and by weighing things, i have to look at things what helps in my recovery. This site and supporting others is bespoke, i wouldn't of done it by myself. Keep fighting and moving on, by taking it day at a time i will find what i'm looking for...thank you...

By the way, your post yesterday...well really panicked me abit lol....you sounded exactly like someone from my place lol... i have the same issues with workers and management as well i'm afraid...i could of write exactly the same post:-)

Respect my friend! I know how hard is to control some staff and make the decisions regarding companies needs and performance factors...

Oh i would love to work alongside you:-) we would soon put misbehaving ppl back to their places:-D

Take care now and well done for all the achievements in ur journey:-) Real inspiration...thank you so much

Sandra x

Hey Castle ...as Shiny says protect your own back and make sure you deal with it by the book..sounds like you have someone there that knows the system ,I'm guessing it's the same woman as before , and she is playing it...

I know exactly how you feel when it comes to not having patience with other folks trivia when every day you're fire fighting on the front line.

I'm the same and have little sympathy for those people as they don't know the meaning of the word stress, they are lazy and then start kicking off if anyone else takes the pee....

Unreal that a 9 yr old is getting tapped by the blummin sharks ...phone blocks for young Jess as all kinds of ads come down the line..

Good you got out your annoyance castle ...your diary takes the hit rather than you my friend xx

R and D xx

Thanks shiny Sandra Rachael

Been so busy at work not had to time to do much else, felt better for getting my frustrations out, with the colleague I got to them phone to me and now shes trying to deny saying anything and hasn't gone of sick yet, everything gets documented so now goin to av to speak to the staff who she supposedly spoke to and get statements off them all a long drawn out process and time is the key, just seem to be working more and more hours at the moment

Away from work no stress or worries no urges or desire to gamble mentally in a good place but no how quickly that can change, I do feel a bit flat with posting going over the same things but not worried that's happened so many times now I get used to it, I know its important to log on and not let the days build up without coming on, I know I need this site for support the goin it alone is not an option for me an acceptance which is very important to me

Good afternoon Castle,

Wow your job sounds like real " Hell " on Earth at the minute:) You definitely doing the right thing, and as long as you keep everything documented and logged on, you have got your back save...

Want to thank you so much for your wise words on my diary this morning. It means everything to me....

I am trying to work the factors out, which lead me to take that turn. All i know it wasn't because of money.....my guard was down, lonely and sad minute on my own and bang.....it took me unexpected.

I put it behind me, and now realize how it change it all for the better. Never say never, but surely in a near future i will not even think about it...Simply makes me physically sick....so why why would i want to think of something so unpleasant...

Anyway, thanx again, and i hope you having a better day today...Keep posting, because you are such a big inspiration:)

Take care

Sandra x

Hey castle

On the work front as Shiny said make sure if you can to have witnesses around when dealing with that woman and protect your own back ....

This too will pass and hopefully she will realise she can only work the system to a point and then has to start pulling her weight,,,it's letting the whole team down otherwise xxxx

Thanks Rachael and Sandra

Not a great week at work just one of those weeks that went from bad to worse, the real positive out of it is when I av had days or weeks like that it was a golden ticket to gamble a reason or an excuse to relieve the stress but this week took it in my stride no urges just got on with it

So really pleased on that front its not a cure these never will be just showed some great inner control, everything else all well still feeling a little flat but not worried on that front it will pass

Hey Castle

This too shall pass.....as they say in 12 step ...I know all the lingo but often cannot practise it myself however sharing the good stuff with you here in the hope it will soon be another week but aware of also mood altering with time there..

Guess what I'm trying to say (badly) is feel it and it will pass over and that's a promise xxx

A tired Rach xxx

Hi Castle,

Just been reading over your recent posts...if there were no work to go to then all our lives would be much quieter and stress free.

Don't worry about going over the same things, the key to beating this addiction is repetition. Repetitively choosing not to gamble, and I'm just starting to learn to make those choices again.

All the best

Ryan

Thanks Rachael Ryan

Such a bad week at work in the end it just got worse and worse but its over now and a start of a new one under no illusion this was is goin to be just as tough I'm out of store on a 3 day course, from a sales point of view we are flying and at the end sales driver everything so that's the feather in my cap it makes me believe I am doin a good job when I could think so differently with the little praise that comes our way

On the gambling front not got time te even think so no urges, this week I'm off sat so no doubt a few will come then but I'm ready and prepared

Still feeling flat but again still not worried putting most of it down to the stress of work and that will ease soon if it doesn't I will just deal with it

Not by gambling

Hopefully the boil has burst Castle....not a pleasant experience for you but I believe that you are doing a fab job with very little recognition..as like everything in retail, it's all about the customer ...

I find sometimes it's all top end sales loaded but very little training in how to manage people..xxx