Refreshed diary for a refreshed adam

hi mixer mate thanks for popping by.....

Had a good day at work then walked back via waitrose for a coffee.....then had a sit down in garden in the sun for couple of hours....then cooked dinner then went to sainsburys and got some good bargins....i really am a savvy shopper.....i got 8 mini pizzas for five pounds, 1200 grams of cheese for 6.72p a lasagne for 1.65 some roast potatoes for 80p some milk and a thin cut sirloin steak for the weekend for 4 pounds....just got to get the peppercorn sauce mix i forgot today ....ill get that tomo after work not essential but nice to have...

Also im getting the billions season six to watch when im off next week!!!!!! love to watch it and looking forward to the final season.....

Watched men in black three tonight on film four and even tho its not hd channel the picture on my tv on film maker mode is brilliant...really loving watching it!!!!

Managed to save pretty well this month, only spent on bills and food 400 pounds so 650 went towards the tv and another 325 towards tv last month...

Im concentrating on cutting down my food cost at the mo....... Ive got plenty in freezer now..... 10 pizzas, 3 kievs, 3 chicken breaded things, 2 boxes of chicken dippers, fish fingers, chips, roast potatoes, 1 lasagne, ive got soup and hoops for lunches for the month so thats lunch for 60p each.... 

Only food purchases i need to make this month are milk, bread, mince, potatoes, carrots and sugar.  I will get those when i get my coffee mostly to save what i spend in waitrose....  Ill get the deals orr essential ones....

All in all ive worked out instead of 150 pounds on food and drink itll be 60 pounds maybe 70..... so thats a good saving.

No restaurants anymore for this year.....Im back in the driving seat finances wise..... Im gonna cook for friends round mine or spend 3.50 P on pappa johns collection...(havent had a paapa johns for a couple of months now)....

To be honestdidnt feel too well after last restaurant visit for curry so its put me off anyway....

So of the 13k i will earn this year im looking to have 7k go towards debt, 3k towards flat purchases...and 3 k towards bills and food.  Super Super tight......but i know i can do it.......Any overtime i can get ill take and spend that money on luxuries....

But To be honest i dont need holidays or pubs or restaurants to make me happy.....ive got xbox, new tv, new kitchen, meals in with friends, walks and weights, bt sport, sky sports, dvds, films, all in all im content.

All the best adam xx  

All the best Adam

Adam you achieve so much, occasionally see how well you really do.

Life is not about the who gets out of the blocks the quickest, but more about the people who spot and correct their weaknesses the quickest. You will win or be thereabouts in life, but see what YOU achieve and not the bits we ALL  got wrong. Keep doing what you do, it works and is inspirational to others.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” 

Have a great bank holiday weekend.

thanks lids means a lot

I feel like tonight is another moment of clarity in my life.......  I sat here after chat and thought about going to bed then i thought lets see what films are on.......so i turned the tv on and as its august bank holiday theres reading festival on the tv horray.......Headling tonight is sam fender who i really like......got some classic tunes..

So i thought about the fact that its august bank holiday....and this weekend marks 5 years since i last drunk alcohol.....the last time i had a major episode.....5 years since i almost lost my job..... 5 years since i saw a fresh approach to my life......one where id be free from the grips of stress that gambling and other vices brought to my life.... a fresh approach where id appreciate and spend more time with loved ones spend more time with nature.....and one where id work hard towards this new lifestyle and approach to better myself.

Now at the time i remember all i wanted from life was to be able to have a simple job where i wouldnt get stressed.....i wanted to not belive in the makebelive world and voices that my skitsophrenia had brought on....i wanted a simple life where i could live without hassle, contribute towards society and be healthy.

Now back at this time i was just trying to get thru the day.....listening to my music to drown out the voices....trying not to do anything stupid and get through the holiday that i know id ruined for my family by being ill.... now my family didnt give up on me.... my mum dad and sister got me thtu that holiday and got me thru the return to work after without losing my job.... now i wouldnt say that i am a model employee ....far from it.... but i contribute and thansk to that help i still contribute to society and earn a wage that will pay off my flat and pay for my retirment should i get there.

But i really couldnt believe how far this help has got me thru those five years!!!!!!!.  Im still in the same job.....ive paid off my mortgage.... ive moved into the flat....ive done it up and purchased all mod cons to make the perfect pad.... and finally ive lived independently for 15 months now!!!!!!!!

Now this Sam fender show and the rest of the performances on this weekend plus all the footbal ill watch will be a great way of symbalising a celebration of those 5 years and the distance from where i was mentally then to where i am now.  I was full in an episode and believing in everything that was coming into my head.....  Now 5 years later im soo much better at dealing with these thoughts......i listen and put them to one side, listen to music, sometimes get to sleep, sometimes just make a cuppa tea, sometimes i dont sleep sometimes i do, but im better placed to put them out of my mind after and focus on whats real, whats actually happening and get on with real life.....

Now tonight is showing me what i want ....... and thats more of the same.... progress..... healthy living....time spent with loved ones.....tiem with nature.....no vices....

My boss said today that he'd come back from a months sick leave and matron had said that she was forwarding it to hr to look into....so in retaliation he forward my record to hr too..

Now i know that all the times ive had off sick (4) this year ive been really ill.  So i know this wont be a problem.

But it does remind me of the problems i faced five years ago in Supplies with the stress of the performance management they put me under......

Now i know ill be fine as im in a much better place five years later to deal with it.!!!!

Now i dont know if im inspirational as lids says..... but i like to think that my story really is a success........ It's like i came here in 2015 in a terrible state....... I was doing everytihng wrong......but vices are very appealing and lead me astray for my youth....... Now im thankfull that ive stopped those for good now and can appreciate my mid life without needing a crisses and looking back but not staring at all the unhealthyness i once partaked in........ Long live this lifestyle.  thanks mods.....

Here i am saturday night of a bank holiday long weekend..... Ive spent today firstly watching spurs win horray....then decorating my bathroom and bedroom....

Tomo ill have a day off steak for lunch to celebrate the five years alcohol free...then liverpool newcastle game and city game to watch.....then an early night and decorating on monday....then back to work again..

heres to a great porductive weekend.....

Hi Adam, it was great to catch up in the chat room tonight. And may I likewise congratulate you on your success as you hit 5 years abstaining from drinking. You are taming two beasts here, alongside the other one, and that's double dedication no question.

You're keeping away from two distinct triggers, one often is the catalyst for the other.

Superb achievements these and, as you say, you're keeping your mind fresh and ready for other challenges that manifests. Don't worry about work; if you're ill, you're ill. hr are independent and not interested with the whims of weak managers. hr are interested in fair play. Keep balanced, keep calm, keep circumspect ... these things will keep you in good stead.

All the best for now Adam, and enjoy the rest of the Bank Holiday ahead.

So im here the next day.....i spent the day eating steak......went to the pub for a footy match.....ate cheese on toast and triffle......then watched some box sets....

tomo im decorating the bathroom and kitchen...... Looking forward to having them looking nicer.....kitchen with a new cooker.....new flooring.....new blinds.......should look good....

The 5 year celebration has been good....ive rested today and will kick decorating a*s tomo....

Work wise the hr thing will be fine i think...ive been told by many that hr are really only around to look after their employees and get the best out of them....ive had quite a few days off this year but only on 4 occasions and each was justified.....so ill be fine.....  New managers manager starts on tuesday hoping they will be nice, we will see....

all the best adam

had a bust day decorating......Bathroom is now all done......kitchen is cleaned top to bottom and ceiling painted......Got to get my uncle over next totake down the extractor fan.....then paint walls ....then put vynall flooring in....then new oven....then new blinds.....then should be all done.

Looking forward to completing my flat...

Everything else fine....work tomo booooooo

Night 

Adam

New managers manager started today.....seems like a nice guy.....but i guess we will see with time.

Another few days has passed...... boss seems much happier......new bosseses boss seems very good.

Rock and roll onto a long weekend.........ive got mon-weds off too horray......

Looking at what life resembles now as i look at it from a holistic point of view:

No drinking: Refreshing change from the norm (who wants to be a sheep)

No drugs : done this plenty when younger tried it done it had a good time why bother doing it till its a problem

No Smoking ciggerettes : again already tried it for 15 years, enjoyed it but got to stop for my lungs to repair and get back to healthy living and hopefully be able to have a long life.

No Gambling : again done it, had a good time, then had a bad time, then couldnt stop, now abble to abstain and recoup losses.....lets continue.

Working in hospital part time : Now adjustements to my working on the part of the hospital have meant i only work 25 hours a week, id like to work more, well i actually like to work same but earn more lol but im not getting offered more and i can afford to live pretty easily on this.... im pretty savvy with my spending... I am happy with my responsibilites and am happy with who i work with.....new big boss seems nice.....and approachable....

Mental health : Not had a major episdoe in 5 years.....not had any major time off work due to mental health in 5 years......medication works wonders.....sleep suffers couple times a month and tired at work next day but can handle it and catch up day after..... 

Just about to have 5 days off work and ive just looked at the weather predictions and its early twenties temp and sun 0 percent chance of rain horray....will spend time working on my tan plus got some friends over couple of times over course of weekend.

First day of 5 day holiday today.....tbh i dont mind going back to work now.... i think my new manager has brought a new lease to life at work.

last night i went for a walk with a friend and done some weights then we went to sainsburys and we found a pizza reduced to 39p and some fruit reduced....had that and watched the west ham game.....then i had a bath and went to bed at 11pm....slept thru to 2pm....lovely long sleep....then sat in the garden and listened to the football in the sun....then went for a coffe and bought a pepper and made bolognese...ate then thought  i need some milk.....so went to sainsburys and got some milk and found out heinz soup is half price until tomo.... so i bought 8x hoops for 3.50p 24 mini chedders for 3 pounds, a steak for 3.80... then carried it all back...... then thought ill go back tomo for soup and beans but then impulsively thought ill go whilst they in stock so walked back down to sainsburys and bought 4x pot and leeks soup 3 pounds...9x chick and veg big soup 6.75 P 6 x beans and sausages 4.50p then had to carry it all back LOL so i bought 27 cans and saved 18 pounds....

Im going to go tomo morning and get beans x 18, beef and veg soup x 6 and tomato soup x 10

so ill have 61 lunch meals all sorted for future......3 months worth.....cracking 15.75+ 18  equals 33.75

And seeing as buying lunch in canteen meal costs 4 pounds 61 times 4 equals 244 pounds for meals in those 3 months and ill have paid 33.75 plus cost of bread and marg......

I love bargin as u can probably tell lol....love to save money...

Also thinking about it as i bought all this on my sainsburys card with perks at work i also saved an extra 5 percent.....1.87 P bonus saving

Really looking to rest up and not think about work at all thru this break..... sit in my garden and get a tan.....going to my folks for a rost tomo too and will watch both games....

Today i put harland as my tripple captin and he got me 60 points lol...the rest of my team were terrible but that really helped im just off first place in second...

All the best adam xx