Rock bottom and beyond

Hi everyone,

25 year old, gambled heavily since age 18.

Shortly after my 18th birthday the brother of my then girlfriend introduced me to the magical world of the bookies and roulette. Little did I know that would be the worst mistake and biggest regret of my life.

Like everyone it starts out innnocent, small stakes, win £50-£100, collect and go out etc and feel on top of the world. Very very quickly my expectations went up and wanted to win more. Therefore losing more in the process.

At 18 I always worked 2 jobs, sometimes 3 if the opportunities were there so I was always able to get my hands on cash. Which obviously was used to fund the local Coral’s Christmas party.

At 19 I bought a brand new car on finance, that’s where the problems started. I could comfortably afford the £220 a month payments, yet out of the 60 payments I had to make, I think 5 was made on time without my bank declining it. As soon as I was paid I was on any gambling app I could find spinning away my whole wage on roulette.

Like everyone I was bragging about my rare wins and brushing the many loses under the carpet. My Mum and Dad warned me there’s only ever one winner as they noticed I was spending more and more time gambling.

By 21 i’d taken out every pay day loan who would lend to me. Missed every single payment and racked up debts of around 4-5k. This included the money I had taken off a bank card my Mum hard with my Grandparents savings on. I had borrowed it one Christmas after making up a lie why I had no money so I could buy some presents. I kept it afterwords and kept drawing £350 out a day chasing the big win and planning on putting all the money back before anyone noticed. Quite obviously, the win never came. My Mum and Dad found out through opening the letters that was coming through. When I got a text off them saying I think you need to come home, I knew instantly they knew. My heart sank. They knew I had a massive problem, I cried, they vowed to help. Offered to take me to professional help (biggest mistake ever turning it down).

They got the £4.5k together I needed and bailed me out. Great, this was the end and the money would get paid back. My dad was overlooking my bank account and I was saving money up well, paying money back, feeling great.

I always had an urge to gamble when he was monitoring the account and the first chance I got when I thought he wasn’t anymore I took it. And so it started all over again.

Fast forward to 24 and a few years of arguing, lying, winning little and losing every penny I earned. By now I’d been with my now partner 2.5 years, used every lie in the book to get money off her and about where I was when I was in the bookies. She was smitten and fell for my lies and kept piling money into me, thinking it was going to paying things etc not getting pumped into my ******* app.

November 2017, I was in debt by around 20k, including about 12k in pay day loans, loans, credit cards, big overdraft, money I owed my parents, money I owed my grandma and the 5.5k I owed my Mrs.

BINGO!!!

Roulette came good after a £500 deposit and £11,100 was withdrawn into my bank. I immediately paid all the payday loans and loans as they was way way beyond due. Then lost about 3-4K on roulette. £800 left, £300 deposited on *******, got up to 8k. Went out shopping spent the last £500 on new clothes, the whole time was dying to get back to play with the 8k. I spent about 2 hours and I had it going up and up. 20k, 24k. It was then I decided on withdrawing £25,000 when I got there shortly. Easy. £24,800 just another 200 to go.

I lost the lot.

I lost most people’s yearly wage in 2 hours chasing an extra 200 poxy pounds.

My life was set, I was going to pay the remaining debts off and still have about 10-13k left.

I’ve had many big wins, but hundreds of big loses. I’ve lost comfortably £100k gambling and that’s gut wrenching.

I spent the next 9 months gambling, lying, arguing. My girlfriend was pregnant and we was buying a house. I didn’t have a dime to contribute and my credit score was non existent due to, I’d estimate at least 200 missed payments, no do ubt many more.

Long story short it all came on top of me and by July after a few months of being in the house and not paying her my half on time and coming up with ridiculous lies I admitted I needed help and put myself in an IVA. I had debts of around 9k not including all the money I still owed my girlfriend and the money my Mum and Dad kept lending.

This was meant to be the start of my financial life at 25 but I was addicted to the thrill of gambling. I don’t even know why I was addicted because no matter what I won it wouldn’t make me happy and I’d want more.

Even today I would be gambling if I had any money. The last 2 weeks everything has come on top and I’ve been battling world war 3. Lie after lie, deeper and deeper.

My mental health has been ruined the last 7 years and I spend most of my time depressed, thinking about gambling, thinking about my next lie to con money out of someone.

I need help desperately, through gamcare I’ve been referred for counselling but they say the waiting list is at least 4 weeks. My life has been a waste since 18 and despite earning around 36k a year I have nothing to show.

I have a beautiful 7 week old baby and not even her has made me stop.

Gambling is an awful awful disease and needs to be taken seriously and properly regulated.

I’m just another stat and life it’s taken up.

But now I’m ready to get rid of the cancer and start my life. Almost age 26. For the sake of my amazing partner, and baby.

Sorry for the long boring post,

Thanks to anyone who has read this far x