SadG wants to be happyG

Hey G well done on the big 68! I remember that post!

What a positive post your previous one is! Really I,pressed with your progress it is a real inspiration for all of your followers!

Good to hear you are building on a selection of hobbies I have found these really useful in my recovery! Also a big fan of game of throans! Loved it!

Keep up,the good work! I am also not a huge fan of day counting and number crunching but I am sure the big 100 is on all of our lists of goals!

One day ate time and you will make it!

Luke

Got my days slightly mixed up. Today is day 71 not day 70. Ahhh a relaxing Sunday with my wife and kids who I haven't seen for 2 weeks due to work and weather.

Just want to say thank you to Ahti Heinla, Priit Kasesalu, and Jaan Tallinn. 3 of my favourite all time people. They invented Skype, my communication lifesaver. Without it I wouldn't be able to talk and see my kids and wife every day. The world really is a smaller place these days thanks to technology.

No thoughts of gambling whatsoever. Had a bit of a low morning yesterday reflecting on past losses and the expenses in front of me. I have so many things to pay for right now and in the coming months. Not entirely coping with it. Money is very tight but I'm staying positive most of the time. Had work to take my mind off it yesterday. Only 4 years 10 months to be gamble free. Hopefully a bit sooner.

Have a lovely Sunday everybody.

G

4 years 10 months to be debt free not gamble free!!!

Well done sadG on day 71. Keep it up.

I am on 53 now, always 18 days behind you. 🙂

Hey G you say 4 years 10 months to be debt free but I think that if you stay bet free this will become shorter! Not gambling will open up new doors to you!

Money will become easier, maybe a promotion as your focus at work will be better, maybe a career change, or maybe you will do a course at a college to better your career! I don't know your background or your what work you do, but I have a feeling that if you stay bet free your life will change for the best one way or another!

Keep up the good work dude

Evening G-man,

Been meaning to check in on you for the past few days so here I am buddy.

I was sorry to read about you not perhaps not receiving the support you might like or need from your wife, but I guess they are all different right ? Perhaps she is just too caught up in her own business like you mention, or maybe she just cannot for the life of her understand it and would rather ignore the problem ? Of course it would be more helpful for you if she were more understanding, but one of the reasons I find myself so drawn to you, and having so much admiration for you, is you are tackling this problem head-on, and really are doing it for yourself. For that reason alone my hat comes off fully to you.

I also know what it feels like to completely lose ones identity from becoming so screwed up through this horrid addiction. Sucks doesn't it. Just remember though that you're doing the right thing now by making the commitment to stop. Your commitment shines my friend. Really.

Apart from the inevitable ups and downs buddy it sounds like you're doing champion. You're in the gym, getting the guitar out, have plans for holiday in April, and you're enjoying recovery.

Finally, try not to focus too much on the debts G. As Lukeyt say's mate if we can stay away and stop gambling we will have these things sorted far quicker than if we were to continue down the path of destruction that is gambling.

Hold your head high fella. You're doing great.

Bilko

Hi G

Liked your post on another thread about not being cut out for gambling and accepting defeat by the gambling machine.

That struck a chord with me as I was certainly an unequivocally poor gambler and who would never win. I'd have to win a very large amount, which of course was rare, and combine that with an external reason for me having to leave gambling zonet (such as a train to catch with an advanced ticket) for me to ever walk out 'up'.

I started out playing fruit machines in pubs but I'd almost be as happy watching someone else play as playing it myself (problem being people didn't take kindly to this staring). So not sure it was ever about making money for me. More like escapism through a child-like attraction to bright lights! I'm 35; )

Hopefully my gambling inadequacy can work to my advantage as I don't really think I can 'win easy money' with gambling. I think it was more about escapsim and 'switching off' for me.

Haven't read through your whole diary but comparing your initial few posts to the support your giving now, you've clearly taken massive steps in what's still quite a short period.

As a relative newbie, the contrast is great, do keep it up!

Hi G

Liked your post on another thread about not being cut out for gambling and accepting defeat by the gambling machine.

That struck a chord with me as I was certainly an unequivocally poor gambler and who would never win. I'd have to win a very large amount, which of course was rare, and combine that with an external reason for me having to leave gambling zonet (such as a train to catch with an advanced ticket) for me to ever walk out 'up'.

I started out playing fruit machines in pubs but I'd almost be as happy watching someone else play as playing it myself (problem being people didn't take kindly to this staring). So not sure it was ever about making money for me. More like escapism through a child-like attraction to bright lights! I'm 35; )

Hopefully my gambling inadequacy can work to my advantage as I don't really think I can 'win easy money' with gambling. I think it was more about escapsim and 'switching off' for me.

Haven't read through your whole diary but comparing your initial few posts to the support your giving now, you've clearly taken massive steps in what's still quite a short period.

As a relative newbie, the contrast is great, do keep it up!

Hi G.......have just read your entire thread and was really touched by all that you have been though and how strong you have been. You have described your feelings and thoughts about gambling as if you have been in my head and read my mind. I use to think there was something wrong with me the way once I was chasing my losses I didn't care how much I was putting into those machines until I couldn't get anymore out of the ATM because I had reached the daily limit on our bank account. (sorry, husband & my bank a/c). I couldn't believe I had just spent $1000. This happened more times than I would like to remember. At the end I wasn't even enjoying myself and would be sitting at the machine just pressing the button saying why are you doing this, just go home, but I couldn't I was in the Zone.

There came a point when things became really bad that I ended up telling my husband that I was addicted to the pokies and that I needed help. All he said to me was - Just stop, you are not a stupid women so wake up to yourself - End of conversation and nothing since then or now and that would have been a couple of years now. But I tell you what if he had had sat down with me and said how can I help, he would have saved thousands and thousands of his hard earned money. If he had known the extent of the problem he wouldn't have said well just stop and wake up to yourself.!!!

I am the one that looks after the money and I use to work but have since retired. Just couldn't go on with working, not when I just put it all in the pokies etc. My husband also works away and comes back home at weekends too - and when I was sad or upset would take myself off to have some fun. But it wasn't fun 9/10. So can understand you when you would love support from your other half. But we will just have to fight this fight by ourselves and with the help of our friends here on this site. Sorry for going on and on but am impressed with your progress. Well done and keep going.........

Sadg, thanks for all your support my friend, I've made it to the big 50, your doing amazing too, your confidence is booming compared to the sadg I first met on here. I look forward to reading your posts when I get time to come on here, thanks again mate!!

Simmo

So right Simmo, confidence is up, happy levels are on the up day by day, gym sessions are getting me back in shape, guitar practise chills me out and catching up with a few films too. SadG is becoming happyG as the weeks go by.

All that time lost and wasted last year being an addicted gambler. So destructive. Never going back to that life. As ever I thank you all for your support, your inspiration and kind words.

DarkPlace, Simmo, LukeyT, Duncs, JasonTT, Rainbow, BilkoBaggins your ongoing support is immeasurable.

Wishing everyone a great week gamble free.

G

Hey G really positive post. Sounds like you are doing really well. Glad to hear you are building on those hobbies of yours.

Glad you are becoming a happy G . Kep it up and thanks for the support!

This stage 'happy' G next stage 'ecstatic' G.

Thanks so much for your kind words and support, much appreciated.

xxx

Sadg firstly apologies for my post at 2.50am this morning, i had been out drinking and feeling sorry for myself ! perfetic is'nt it :- /

Barcelona was cancelled regrettably, there will be other times for sure.

any how it really seems your an inspiration to so many people inc myself on this site ! so you just keep it up my friend, i have run out of surperlatives for your honest say it how it is writing. Your friend my peer Dark Place

Ok so I'm at work last night chatting to my mate and he starts telling me a short story about his morning in the bookies yesterday about how he fancied a day gambling but he bet the first 3 dog races of the day, then the first horse race of the day and they all got bumped at the first corner or jockey fell at the first and then.....zzzzz......zzzzzzz.......zzzzzzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh my did I switch off. I hope it didn't come across as too rude and I realise he doesn't know I quit gambling over 70 days ago but I couldn't have been less interested in what he was saying. Switched off doesn't do it justice. He must have noticed. I think I started concentrating on a bit of paint flaking off the wall.

So I am now aware that I can't even be ars*d to listen to gambling stories at work. Love it ha ha.

He did then start talking about going to the first day of Cheltenham 2nd week in March or April(wasn't really listening still) and it made me think whether I would ever go to a racecourse or dog night again. Never had any problem with them in the past. My addiction plain and simple was playing Blackjack and Roulette on online casinos and FOBT's years ago. I have a sociable day at the races about every 4-5 years. Same with the dogs but I'm now acutely aware that if I had a day out with mates at either and had a bet I would break my bet free run. Actually felt a little disappointed with that but at the same, knowing that it wouldn't act as a trigger to start gambling again, I'm happy to remove those sort of days out from my calendar and find other days out to enjoy, so it looks like my race day/dog nights have been retired from any future social programs. By the time they come around anyway I'll be more than happy to explain to friends that I don't gamble any more and won't be joining them that day. It won't be a problem for them I know.

My mate telling me about his day at the bookies is one of my oldest friends. We were at school together, shared flats together in London. He is one of the only people I would ever tell about my addiction. If we'd been in the pub having a sociable drink I would have told him about my problems, my addiction and this site but seeing as we were at work it wasn't the right time but it's coming. He'll be shocked but supportive as well I know. It will feel good to tell him. At least then he'll realise I will switch off at his gambling stories he he.

Anyway I'm off to the gym. Got work later this evening. Have a great day and weekend everybody.

Oh I'm up to 76 gamble free days. Yay.

G