SAIL

You best get standing bk up ffs!! Lol..ffs..d**n..some crazy s***t eh?? Well girl, I know this will beat me down for a goooood while lol..so just know that I'm here wiv u together in that huge heart of urs...even if I won't post for a while

f**k the b astards.. i'm just mad...just get that tracker on ur ankle will u? Lol..b good girl..and never ever give the f*****g fight up ok..let's go and put some boom boom under those nasty gambling basements lol

I'm glad I still got my sense of humour...f**k..I want to......

Spk later..get some rest

Well guess I won't bother ya on your thread girl cause I'll respect them wishes of yours. But thinking your still reading around the forum so respond here. LOL

Guess for me I can live with the damages done and yeah wanna say I didn't have in much more gamble free time in than about a month and a half. Yeah sucks starting over and sure wasnt all that enjoyable being there. I went to the biggest casino in town here thinking I'd blend in with the crowd and less likely to be picked up on radar. LOL Hell wasnt all that busy and yeah felt like I had a 3rd eye watching out the back of my head. LOL yeah just kinda waiting for that tap on the back saying will you come with me. No sure didn't use my bank card there but was a thought after what I had for cash on me was gone. LOL guess i wasnt feeling that lucky and thought of running to a near by gas station to use a atm and come back again. But yeah kinda knew that would leave me with a zero balance by the end of the day if started going that route. Gotta say going that route was still running through my head though all the way home. LOL

Hell sure was surprised to see ya did the nasty with me when logging on here. I guess i would expect it of myself but not you. LOL yeah you had some good free time in and pretty much thought you were cured of the madness. Has really gotta suck for you being ya stayed away as long as ya did and I feel for ya girl. But yeah still thinking that one little slip ain't holding ya down and just a minor glitch in the day. You'll carry on as ya did before like it never happened and yeah just that easy if ya look at it that way. The more we beat ourselves up the worst it seems I guess so don't even go there.

Guess despite gambling kicking my a-ss I slept quite good and got in a good 12 hours of sleep. LOL Lol Lol but yeah up at 2 in the morning now with my first cup of Joe so gonna be kinda weird day time wise. LOL

Hi there

sounds to me like you put the damage limitation in place and didn't top up to add to what you had wasted so got to be better than some of the past times and six weeks is better than six hours or even six days especially with recent hassle around family and neighbours.

Sleep will have done you good and stay around this time, please don't disappear again after a slip as love hearing from you.

xxx

Hi girl,

Well gonna attempt to do some tapping for ya lol..yep, nasty that was and not too proud of myself.

d**n if we lived closer t each other could of gone to do nasty together lol..more likely just drag each other away from them thoughts...

Glad you managed to stop and leave devils den without having to dig in that card. So yep, well done girl. It is only a slip eh? Many people told me today that's what recovery is all about...tripping, falling and getting bk up.i suppose they are right..

so just dust yourself down and march on again lol. I suppose I can see some good in that..we can now celebrate our milestones together!! Lol lol..join my celebration on day 1 🙂

Happy days lol

Look at ur sleep time!! Hell girl 12 hrs was what u needed, I'm afraid sleep wasn't on the plate for me lol..but did pass out for a couple of hours...not too alive today lol so hopefully lights out early for me

Right, that should do for now lol..as dragonfly said don't u dare to hide from us!! I will find u even if I hav to cross that pond with my own feet lol..best not be too deep cause I don't do swimming lol

Take care girl..keep it up and hav a good day

Hi Brokensoul,

Sorry to hear that you've had a slip with regards to gambling, being on day 1 after going a while without gambling is always tough. Try and let it go as much as you can, but those regrets and bad feelings won't be soothed by going and putting another wad on.

Hope you can find the strength to do what you mentioned, dust yourself down and get back on that hoss.

All the best

Ryan

Hi Soul,

We both know it's not the money. It's fighting the magnetic like pull toward the hell hole once we let ourselves get started. Keep fighting the good fight Soul. -joanxxx

Well just got woken to the sound of my cat beltching up hair balls on me recliner. LOL yeah nice awakening there. Hell neighbor guy just got home at 4 in the morning and apparently don't have a key to the place and she locked him out. LOL was waiting to hear a fight break out but after ringing the door bell with no results he got back in the car and left. So yeah I'm sure fight will be on in a few hours or so. LOL

Slept another good 12 hours or so and not lacking for sleep anyway. Well sure I won't feel that way when i do go into work in another 18 hours from now . yeah chances of getting in another nap are pretty slim to none I think with the storm brewing next door. lol

Finished up my house cleaning yesterday. Was kinda the last thing I wanted to do cause yeah, we do tend to get a bit of drag a-ss after them gambling bouts. Guess what i lost wasnt a lot but ya kinda get it fixed in your head regardless of ways to make up for them losses. LOL guess them thoughts aren't focused on another trip to the casino of course. But more on things that can be cut back on like groceries and such. Hell my freezer ain't lacking for much so can get by with buying little to none there. Gotta mail out my girl that $200 this pay day so that's a must do. Hell she got into a bit of trouble this weekend and ain't quite getting this one but she turned herself in for smoking pot. LOL Lol Lol yeah I'm sure there's more to that story than I'm hearing about and don't quite sound right in my ear hole but whatever. LOL guess regardless of that situation my word is my word and she'll be getting her pile of cash. LOL

Did a bit of grilling yesterday and a few steaks and jalepheno brats hit that grill. Of course the cold ones were tossed down this throat before and after. LOL watched the first 2 episode of Orange is the new black and pretty good too. I'm thinking all them episodes are out there for the season but don't wanna see them all right away and have to wait another full year for more. LOL

Hope your feeling better today than yesterday and yeah all them cr-ap a-ss feelings will pass. Hell one slip in a over a year ain't nothing girl and you still rock.

Hey there and good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about the coming storm lol..but believe it or not we are getting some of it over here..just ours is a mother nature one lol so thinking to get those trainers on while I can lol

Dam, I like your sleep hours..hmm, I was up from 2 am and couldn't fall back to sleep. I suppose I needed some more beating up to do lol lol..which is cool, I've got it out of my system and if I'm lucky I will sneak that hour nap in before work tonight. Pretty good day yesterday - I didn't gamble ha..that's positive I suppose so back on a wagon and making some better use out of my time.

Yep, your girl don't sound in the bestest places right now. Been there myself and didn't get much use of that habit either. Hope she will stop looking for excuses to keep running to that one nasty.

BBQ sounds lovely and tasty. I hope to fire one of those next week cause d**n girl I've got all of it off!! Lol..can't wait for some relaxing time and even get to get a year older in that time lol..what a joy!!

Yea talked to a good friend today, hmm lol..it was like a woodpecker in my head lol. So much sense and im really greatful for the honesty. It's just unbelievable how a conversation can change ur mindset...I suppose I need to speak up more instead of hiding in my shell and go off my head while pressing self destruction button.

I hope ur day goes smoothly and you hav a quiet night at work. I can hope the same for myself lol but really not letting any b astard to drag me down.

Hope Adams family will keep it quiet next door...i'm just very hopeful today lol lol

Later soul and stay away from the trouble. Watching ya!! :-))

Lol soul, you found your way onto the right page!!! Lol, thats a good progress and even Monday didn't get in a way lol

Yep, I know what you mean about cat doing nasties on a carpet lol. That's why mine spends the most of his life outside lol..like it or not ha..nah, kidding, he is more like wild cat anyway and rarely comes my way, cause I simply know his intentions of attacking me lol

I suppose we all do mistakes in our lives, but hey no way we are perfect. You can only learn from them.

Yep, safe round on my run, d**n girl it was too hot, I need to choose my smoke or healthy lifestyle lol..can't do both, cause yep, I think snail was quicker again lol, and I was a half hour later bk than usual. These lungs needs rest lol, or just cutting the c rap out. Yep, rang dad and all seems good bk home, so I guess that puts my mind at peace too.

d**n, didn't realise what time it is lol, best get flying to work. Happy Monday lol

Stay safe girl and hav a good one

Take care

Lol lol..ey soul!!! I learn quick lol, get a move on my tread, looks like I lost my way to yours this morning 🙂

Hi soul,

Sunny and warm over here for the last couple of days..just not in my little world lol.insomnia hit the roof and going with a little of sleep for a while. Not too bad, not the first lol lol..more bothered about bites...yep...hmm, if I'm lucky I will hav a bite after 3 days starvation period lol but I think I will need a army to try and shove smthing down lol

Day off today and planning trip to the seaside. Makes a change so just bring it on lol. Back to work for the weekend and it's my last weekend in b4 holiday..already want it to be Monday lol

Don't worry girl soon be weekend and hope weather stays k8nd to you and you can keep being busy in a garden or on that bbq.

Lol..my mate from bk home were stopped by the police once and they found few spliffs of a smoke on him..guess what, they took them away and smoked it themselves on a break an hour later lol lol lol..crazy s***t indeed..greedy t....s lol

Hope ya hav a good day and night ahead. Stay safe girl and keep laughing out loud..I need to learn more of this but at the min just waiting for that army with some grub for this freak lol lol

Later

Hey there girl,

Well, I suppose you are heading to quite busy shift tonight. Try Mr . muscle that would help to deal wiv it all better lol..sorry, joking here 🙂

Well, yep my day coming to the close and believe me I'm back on my two feet. Weird thing happened last night..ya know, woke up at 2am and couldn't get bk to sleep. Not really sure if I was switched off and dreamed or my subconscious was showing me some chapters..all I know I seen myself all wired up with tubes and all that in hospital, not being able to stand up..hmm..I suppose that s***t scared me and early morning I tried wolfing some cereal down lol..not much luck..but, about afternoon time I felt better wiv myself (some good news which I shall share later) and my appetite shoot right up lol..d**n..pizza later I'm still looking for a desert lol lol..so yea, all good on that front and I even plan a run tomorrow. .you are right, my body reacted to recent blip this way..I get like that if I'm stressed.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to say about your boy..I can just imagine how scary it must be for him. d**n, it is tough s***t ya know, depends wot them voices are telling him too. Really hope he will talk this through wiv his doc and can find a way out with some meds being changed or dozes worked on...he will be okay, and you are doing all in your power to be there for him. That's it, just listen and stay close by him...he needs that.

Right, last minutes before bed and I'm determined to get at least 6hrs in lol..if not then..well..lol lol..at least I tried. Mind seems to calm down 100%, not sure where I was the last 4 days cause hardly remember anything. Esp posting. .

Good to see you going strong soul, keep it up. And plz plz stay away from that radar..else I'm coming round wiv that boom boom lol lol (u see I remembered that lol)

Off to work from tomorrow, hope urs go smoothly and wish you to catch up on good sleep..me..lol..i'm off to have some food 😀

Later soul

Yep girl, you have a good one, not be long and weekend is yours again lol..d**n don't they fly!!! Lol

Stay safe, calm...a bit of work...a lot of sleep 😀 and plenty of Joe tomorrow...keep fighting and winning this kick a** fight lol

Ya boy, will get through it. Believe in him

Take care and goodnight

Well well well lol so kicking few back after work? I suppose it's good way to knock yourself out lol.i think I did it once after work but it wasn't too good idea lol. Slept all day and got to work grumpier than usual lol.i prefer to have a read or the fav cc lol..soon sends me to the dreamland. .not for long tho lol

So, 10 hrs in!!! d**n soul I can't remember having this long and peaceful sleep. Fully rested and looking forward for my day ahead (still not as much for work but hey..it's part of life lol). Nice and sunny over here and after another cup of Joe my trainers gets back into action lol and off I go.

Hope you will sleep and more importantly rest before work and school looks a bit bigger than u left it this morning lol...

have a good one girl and take it easy

Hey there girl,

So the last shift before weekend? - good stuff and I hope weather will be kind to you so you can busy urself in that garden with flowers lol d**n weeks seem to fly by and with sleeping so little you would think they dragged lol, but hell that's not to be in this world.

Half way through the shift and getting tired. I think I will have no problem to drop off this morning so yep quite looking forward to that treat lol. Madness here, but hey nothing new and I think I'm finally adapting to the course of the shift lol. Sort of know when s***t gonna hit the roof and always have that phone at the ready to contact manager and pass some news on lol...sayin that, no managers here again, so sort of trying to deal with everything myself. Surely will see it all coming back to me tomorrow and million questions to follow lol. Which is ok, I have few answers lol just not sure if that is what they want to hear lol lol..will see, for now just doing what I can.

So your car has a recall? How's that working out? I remember I had a toyota celica good few years ago, and the batch of 2000 makes was havin problem with a breaks or so lol..it was all over the news and got me panicking a bit, but hey, it was a good and fast runner so I just carried on driving lol..yep, my breaks gone at one point but it wasn't a fault of a manufacturer, only hangover service person not doing his job right lol. Now I have nice and steady golf lol..too small and slow for me but I guess it is economic lol and saving money for me. Saying that just changed tyres yesterday and that didn't come very cheap but I suppose safety first 🙂

Hope you hav a good shift and even better sleep tomorrow. Weekend is here and hell girl make it a good one...that includes staying away from the radar, keep your money to yourself.

Take care and behave lol