hello,today I'm feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life.ive spent the last 3 days gambling instead of spending time with my family.my problem started about 10 years agos on fob machines in the bookies.putting £10 in and walking out with £100 I felt on top of the world.this continued for a few months however I gradually started putting more money in and losing more than winning.this escalated to me getin paid monthly and blowing my whole wage in a few hours and going a whole month scrounging and borrowing.I also racked up about 10k on credit cards and loans.I did manage to keep this well hidden from family and friends and came up with all the excuses as to why I didn't have money.any way I managed to somewhat get my addiction under some control(some control maybe £100 a week) for a few years and only have a big blow out (£500 every 6 month)when I had spare money.however recently I've started losing control again.i got paid Xmas eve and blew £300 in 1 hour on roulette.xmas day I spent another £300 on roulette and yesterday another£300 and finally this morning another £200 gone.i feel so low and pathetic.roullette seems to be the only thing that brings me any enjoyment even tho I have an amazing girlfriend and two beautiful children.I've never gone longer than a few days without some form of betting.something needs to change im 28 years old and this c*t continue its changing me as a person and affecting my relationships.
Hi Slater and welcome to the forum , Well done on realising you have a problem with gambling as thats the place you begin to get well again!.
I was like you a few months ago and lost many thousands on the Fobt's in the bookies , I've now not had a bet of any sort for just over a 100 day's and if I can change my life after over 35 years of gambling , then you can too .
The place you need to start is bye letting go of the past losses , all the time your thinking " just one more bet and I'll get everything back " it won't work ! , you just keep going through the same cycle as you are now , Lose , Chase , win , Lose ,Chase , Win and thats how it goes , as compulsive gamblers we cannot win , because we cannot stop !.
I and almost everyone on here have done the same and you really can't move forward unless you fully embrace recovery , let it go , stop chasing coz even if you had a big win , you would just pump it straight back into a machine , for us it's no longer about the money , just the buzz , which is why it becomes harder to achieve and more and more expensive to pay for !.
The thing you really need to do is to break your Time , Money , Location triangle , if you take one of these away then you cant bet . Maybe start by self excluding from all your usual bookies , it takes a couple of photo's and a few minutes to fill out a form, you may feel a bit embarrassed [ I did ] but it stops you just walking back in when you get the urge and those urges will come !.
You can also download blocking software to stop yourself accessing online sites and just carry cash or card if you really need it ?. All these things will help but you still need to want to stop and that's just down to you and that willpower of your's !.
Everyone here knows exactly how you feel right now and your story of how you arrived here hits a chord with us all , a great place to share your feelings , talk to other like minded people , receive help and give it back when you feel able , this forum has it all , also the recovery diarys are a great place to chart your recovery if your planning on seeing this through?.
If you need any help setting anything up or have a question just ask , either through the forum or by contacting the gamcare team , never any judgement on here , just help and support when you nedd it !
Take care for now and welcome to the life you now want !.
Alan
Hi Alan thanks for your encouraging words and advice I will certainly take this on board and do the things you advised.ive set myself a few short term goals I.e 10 days 20 days and 50 days to be gamble free.I have to break this destructive cycle and stop gambling.I have to stop trying to self destruct myself and try and concentrate on the good things in my life.day 1 starts tommorow.i will win this battle 🙂
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