Starting Afresh

Hello Chartom

Sorry to hear about your lost money today. Well done for self excluding. It's easy for me to say but I would reconsider telling your partner for extra accountability.

When I came clean to my family it was equally as hurtful to them that I lied.

The money lost will soon be forgotten but the secrets should they come to light won't.

All the best.

Conradnose

www.conradnose.com

Thanks for the reply Conradnose...... feeling pretty low at the minute but know if i catch myself on now the money can be replaced dont feel i can tell my partner just yet but its people like yourself on here that helped me go over a year gamble free in the past just need to keep posting as i left here before as i thought i had this addiction beat.... how wrong i was

Day 1 ...... Still feeling low after my latest relapse cant believe i have been so stupid to put myself in this position once again, have went over 1 year gamble free in the past so know i can do it again...... not in a great place right now but know for at least today i will not gamble

Been spending today doing "normal" things,(spending time with my children,walking the dog,housework) instead of being stuck behind a screen gambling with money i couldnt afford to loose.Still coming to terms with my latest relapse and finding it hard to move on.....just trying to take it 1 day at a time

Hi chartom3,

Welcome to Recovery diaries forum, and thanks for your post.

I think you’ve taken a step in the right direction by returning to the forum to get the help and support you need to overcome your relapse.

Much as nobody wants to relapse when progressing with their recovery like you were doing, but it does happen sometimes, and the important thing is that you’re not put off or, don’t give up trying to overcome your gambling problem.

£800 is a lot to lose at a time especially, when it’s meant to be a holiday money for you and the family.

“What has been done, cannot be undone” as the saying goes, so I will advise you to let go of your losses, to focus on your recovery, and to look forward to a gamble free future. It’s doable, you managed to abstain for a whole year, and you can repeat that and even go further if you place obstacles in your way to stop you from being able to gamble.

I suggest that you install one of the following blocking software, which will stop you from accessing gambling sites. They are:- Gamblock, Betfilter, Net Nanny and Gamban. Please read and install the one you think would provide you with the maximum benefit or, the one most suitable to your needs.

You can also contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers of any further help and support. Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.

Like you said, coming to the forum was what helped you when you first joined, so perhaps it’s time to go back to the basics.

Please keep posting!

Best wishes,

Beatrice.

Day 3 ........ Absolutly no thoughts of gambling just of guilt because of what i have done,worked it out last night that if i scrimp and save i could have most of the money lost replaced by the time we go on holiday, thats my goal.....have to try and stay positive

Day 3..........Feeling a bit more positive today my mind keeps telling me i can win the lost money back but then that has what has brought me back here in the first place.....have 2 choices really 1: Try and win the money back and end up losing everthing 2: Stop now while i still have a little savings left, roof over my head , food on the table.Really need to keep picking option 2......One day at a time today i will not gamble....

Always option 2 Chartom.

All the best!

www.conradnose.com

Day 4 ............. Really want to try and win some of the money i have lost back but trying to put those feelings to the back of my mind,but like in the past finding it hard to let go. Hoping the fog will lift soon as at the moment everthing seems so difficult.One day at a time today i will not gamble

Day 5 ......... yesterday was a tough day had strong urges to try and win some money back even done , some bets in my head which would have won , this is my 3rd attempt at recovery and have done well in the past at one stage going over 1 year GF so i know i can do it again. My goal at the minute is to save hard and recover the holiday money i lost before we go away in October. One day at a time today i will not gamble.......

Day 6 ................. for some reason this time has been alot harder than the previous times i have relapsed, have this big urge to try and win some money back and have been checking out odds and bets i could place, like before finding it hard to let go of the money i have lost.Need to keep busy and keep my mind occupied with other things

Day 7 ......... well have somehow made it to a week dont know how, have been very close several times to trying to recoup some of my lost money which i am still finding it hard to let go of.Know that if i can just get through these first couple of weeks then things will start to get a little better...... trying just to take it 1 day at a time today i will not gamble

So day 8 begins....... still struggling to let go of the money i have lost the the urge is there big time to try and win it back which i have been fighting these last few days.... busy day ahead which should help keep my mind occupied on other things just need to keep taking it one day at a time problem is one day at the minute feels like a week.... today i will not gamble

Day 9 ........... Life seems such a struggle at the minute but feeling i little more positive this morning another busy day ahead so should keep my mind from gambling...just for today i will not gamble