Starting again.

Tnx..you are so right,,,My thoughts exactly...

I just want to note the way I felt today that lead up to my gambling..

Well I couldn't make up my mind.. (ahh yes my original plan was to goto central London and apply for a non immigrant B visa to set off to Thailand, however, the train was delayed) I set off to the bank to deposit a large sum of money....I asked my son to come with me last night, for fear that I would gamble....I ended up going alone...On the way there I coudn't make up my mind to deposit? The strange thing is this time I accidently approached the bank from the wrong way which means I pass a bookies....Well that was it...I started to gamble...I was horrified after I lost £1300... I had nothing left?....So, i went and withdrew £500 off my CC... I told myself it's ok/...How do we manage to stay calm, with the prospect, and hope that maybe we will win... I ended up putting in most of the 500...Then bingo..or should I say 'roulette' I got £1700 after many ups and downs... people were laughing at me and saying, 'haha hes getting carried away'...ffs I was like a zombie...they were right...my head was going around with the ball.... Anyway, I decided to cash up....They said I had to wait half an hour.....So, I left the receipt and popped into Greggs for a much earned sausage roll....I arrived back inside the shop and just couldnt resist putting the extra £100 odd into the adjacent machine...I was really peed off with the staff for making me start playing again....Anyway, I did and lost, then they decided to pay me and aslo said a cheeky, 'sorry about the wait'.... I remember nodding my head in disgust at being so stupid to get greedy... and I remember staring into nothing when losing and frantically re counting my money on the side thinking about what Rob had said on Netline only 24 hrs previous about your money going around and around until it has finally all gone!! So, somehow I put £11 on a number and it dropped...I collected straight away....they were in shock..I was too...I collected that... and was into £2k....I couldnt help placing another tenner in and winning |£30 ..they did say they couldnt pay me anymore....I was cheeky saying I dont expect to win... they paid and i tipped them a tenner....Those ladies must have been livid.....The thing is, all that money to win a measly ? I am not exactly sure what I won...I think it is aroung |£300 it really isnt worth it guys....Because they have got these games smarlty programmed....heavy gambling to win ya money back with a tiny tip....By that time you trust the machine then all of a sudden one bright sunny day you lose thousands!!!

I really want to beat it.

I started work yeseterday...I have decided to leave cards out of reach for now...] I am going to win from now on ...by not gambling!!!

Morning,

Hope you like your new job. It is so hard being new, watching your Ps and Qs. Well done for leaving your cards at home, I have done that for about a year. The other day I needed to take one filled me with apprehension all day. Did not like that feeling, so will be another 5 untill I do that again lol

Stay strong

Dusty

Difficult times yet again...

I hope i can hold everything together?

tnx DF for the post.

Hi,

Hope you managed to hold it together, if not you know we're here should you need a helping hand.

Take care

Dusty

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

Easy li£e

Thanks again DF.

Yo

Not sure what I can say that will help.

Dusty

Just a single comment helps. Thanks!

Morning,

I started to read your diary last night. And realised that cant win can't stop was more of a chant than a cry for help.

If it works keep going with it, if it's not you know that there are people on this site who will try to support you

Take care , stay strong.

Dusty

I know how to hit rock bottom...I have not gambled for 2 days.... It will work out for me I hope...in the end.

Hi,

It will work out, if you really really want it too.

No one ever said it was a doddle, and it takes a lot of hard work and determination.

Every one has it side of them, you have it inside of you, your a tough guy up for the challenge,

I will help to support you if you are.

What do recon ?

Dusty

Hi

Thank you for your reply.

Start thinking about what you can do differently. You know the saying if you do the same old you get the same old.

Break the triangle, to gamble we need

TIME, LOCATION , MONEY,

Take one of those away , and the opportunity to gamble becomes much more difficult.

You are obviously hurting right now, but if you can take one of these steps straight away you may well stop things getting any worst.

I wish you well , stay strong

Dusty

Dusty Fairy has said it all really.

Just remember these...

1. Gambling NEVER, EVER works in the long term.

2. You can never win because you cannot stop.

3. One tiny, tiny bet away from disaster.

The fact that you have nothing to gamble with will be of a huge help, just make sure that you don't go for any more loans and thus dig yourself an even bigger hole.

At the end of the day for us CGs, simply not gambling WILL lead to a much more comfortable life.

You, as a CG, simply cannot afford to place one more bet into any gambling establishment.

Stay very strong and stay very positive, this journey is there for you to complete.

GT

Thanks DF and GT..

I would just like to say that I am feeling a lot better...I do reccomend Netline to you guys...For the reason that, I got the correct support I was looking for....I wanted to cry, I even looked up how to cry? I found nothing....However, a particular moderator on Netline actually reached out to me and really threw me...It was a moment that I felt a connection with them and myself...It bought me to tears....It was perfect....I let it all out...I couldn't do it in fron tof my parner or on my own...I really appreciate this service..I never realised how specail this website is....I am glad that you guys find yourself here...I do believe that sometimes group chat won't work because I was on a completely different wave length to lets say; someone who is mid point through recovery, whereas I have just done a truckload of cash...the two things kind of clash... So, I am sorry to the guys who I did not connect with....I am glad that the staff here are very supportive...And gave me closeness that I needed...Sympathy DOES work...Especially when you are at your lowest point ever...Harsh realities are good for people further down the line...to remind them of the risks of a breach...On the other hand, it is quite the opposite for peopl going through a different stage.....

One last thing....Advertisment should have a warning ...I believe when it says you could win lets say ||£10.000 it should always state that for someone to win this amount at least £100, 000 is lost... you know like smoking causes cancer.... I am sure gambling does too...

Take care.