Today has been hard...my mood is all over the place and have already had an argument with my ex husband over him being in my face...he calls by all the time as he owns this house too and he doesn't see a thing wrong with that. I actually end up feeling sorry for him as he says he just wants to see our son or daughter etc..
He's a popular man liked by many but has no friends and I think he's just lonely..
Anyway I wanted to run, and that usually means one thing for me. However I am in my room just now and going to take myself out for a walk. Sunday's are always bad days for me when I get very maudlin, and feel horrible...
I am stuck on thinking about all the money I've lost and wishing again that I had it back. I'm not a materialistic person but have a fear of being broke. Feel like I worked my a** off all my life (I'm 47 now) and all for nothing to show for it except part owner of this house...the house that makes me feel trapped!
Don't get me wrong I count my blessings every day and am grateful in every way possible but just so down today on everything. Everyone I know seems to have holidays they are going on just now or a new car or are getting their house renovated...it's not that I want those things but I do feel like a failure because I can't do them or see any progress for anything over the years. I am on Invalidity as I have a medical condition...that med condition means I probs won't work again.
Sorry for the gloom and doom, just needed to let it all out really.
I have €20 in my purse as my daughter is looking after my bill money...what a shambles I feel...
Just into day 7 and I made it without having a bet all day sunday 🙂
So happy about that as it was such tough day.
Here's to staying gambling free and having peace within.
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