finally worked out how to do a recovery diary (I think). It is now four days since I joined the site and I haven't gambled in those four days, it hasn't been easy but I'm determined to give it my best and I know I will only fail when I stop trying. I have been addicted to online slots and bingo sites for about five years, I've become snappy, on edge and secretive due to my addiction and it wasn't until I read through some other people's diaries and stories that I realised I was reading about myself, that has been a shock as I've always told myself that "I can stop whenever I want to I'm not an addict!!!" How wrong I was. I know it's not going to be easy and need to replace the time spent (wasted) on gambling. So I've been doing some cooking and colouring books, which help me to switch off from every day problems, this was the main reason on went onto the slots as it felt like the only time my brain would switch off. I suffer from depression and anxiety attacks and although for a while when I'm gambling I feel relaxed until the money runs out and then the anxiety kicks in, it's become a very vicious circle. Onwards and upwards hopefully from now on x
Yep, you've sussed the diary section.
It's such a relief isn't it when you realise that there's other souls out here, when we thought we were alone.
It's been a cruelly vicious circle you've been in with the mixture of anxiety, depression and gambling. So good on you for jumping out of that
Give yourself a pat on the back, it's courageous to tackle your crux of gambling ..
Stuck close to these diarys and no doubt others will be around to offer tips in the early raw days.
Take care
Hi Stumpy, welcome to recovery! You've taken the biggest and hardest first step to your new life...you've admitted that you're addicted to gambling. That realisation can be tough. I can remember when it dawned on me that this wasn't something I could actually control but that instead it was controlling me. It took me a while (years!) to get to that point though. Like you, online slots has been my "drug" of choice and I also used it to zone out and take away stress, pain, boredom. They'll be lots of stories similar to yours to found amongst these diaries.
Well done on the first 4 days. You're doing great 🙂 Spending time on here will def help and always open up this site if the urges strike...which they will! But as time goes on they'll get less strong. Take encouragement from the people who are doing well and learn from the people who are struggling. It won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it.
Onwards and upwards!
LifeBegins x
Great effort so far! I remember the first time i went a week without gambling it felt like such a huge milestone, and youre nearly there. while the urge never fully leaves you, it gets easier to manage. no compulsive gambler wants to reset that 'gamble free' clock back to zero.
Be strong. Kev.
Hiya Stumpy and welcome . It's a bit of an eye opener when you first come here , on your own you think your the only person thats like yourself but soon come to realise that many people have the same issues .
Well done on your first 4 days gamble free , it's not rocket science to stop gambling , you just have to really want to !.
Get some blocks in place , such as downloading k9 software to block gambling sites and self exclude as well , anything that puts barriers between you and the next bet is always good !
No judgements on here just help support and advice !
Keep posting and let us know how your getting on .
Take care for now and best wishes in recovery !
Alan
So angry with myself I've gambled today my day started off good then we had a phone call about dad and he has dementia, I was upset and just logged on to a slots site and gambled don't know why as I now feel twice as bad !!! Really not in the mood to post this but I know I have to be honest, need to try to get some sleep
Hi stumpy , sorry you had a relapse and to hear about your dad , can't be easy to deal with .
Don't beat yourself up too much , its early days yet and youv'e just found one of your triggers that make you gamble !
There will be a few suprises like that along the way and the important thing is that you put the blocks in place , download K9 which will stop you accessing the sites when the urge strikes again !
Take it easy buddy !
Stumpy - I used to have that same immediate reaction but it's faded now. I still get it with cigs tho. Something happens throws me off and straight away I want a cig. It's not good at all. Life is tough and real difficult. Try to think of other ways to deal with stresses. Maybe even throw it to the forum as I need a solution as well!
Morning bud day 1 you can do this out them blocks up and look for support. Dementia is hard to deal with and very stressful so you don't need the worry of gambling with it
Good luck today new start you can crack this
KTF
Ok day 1 again been a bad day so wanted to log on a click click click but I haven't been too busy worrying about dad so went to a meditation class tonight and going to try to meditate more as I know my gambling is triggered by stress and wanting to switch off ( sometimes wish I could be like wursel gummidge and take my head off and put it on a shelf to argue with itself lol) showing my age there !!! Anyway yes yesterday was a setback but I can't beat myself up about it need to be positive x hope everyone has had a good gamble free day and stay strong x
This is harder than I thought I don't know if I'll ever beat this and that scares me. I really hate myself right now and the worry about money is getting worse every day, I'm not sleeping because I'm thinking about it all and the added worry about my dad who now has to go into a hom e because his mental capacity had deteriated so much. Anyway life is full of problems so I need to stop using them as an excuse to gamble. I'm scared if I can't beat this addiction what will I do, because I will loose everything.
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