The 100 Days Club - Would you like to join?

Great wisdom and advice from the 100 Day Club Crusaders

A jolly group of souls which includes a few 1st Aiders

The festive season it is here and we're all rocking on

Gamble free and dancing while singing a Christmas song

*** Good evening! ***

Another fine ditty, Stephen;  we're keeping it a rockin' and a rollin' because being g***ing free, day to day, means we can be free to.  Free from all that pesky stress and negativity that comes with it.  It really is one thing less to worry about.  There may well be consequences to our actions but we will handle them better.

Here's something a little different.  We are all good people who have, unfortunately, been blighted by this horrible addiction.  But we're getting better, not just by our commitments to succeed, and the practical steps we're putting in, but getting better in ourselves.

Here are a list of things we are striving for; the opposites of these, of course, we should watch out for.  Some will make you think - they certainly made me think!

Watch out for                 Strive for

Self-pity                           Self-forgetfulness

Self-justification             Humility

Self-importance              Modesty

Self-condemnation         Self-evaluation

Dishonesty                        Honesty

Impatience                       Patience

Hate                                   Love

Resentment                      Forgiveness

False pride                       Simplicity

Jealousy                           Trust

Envy                                  Generosity

Laziness                            Activity

Procrastination               Promptness

Insincerity                        Straightforwardness

Negative Thinking          Positive Thinking

Vulgarity, Immorality .  High-mindedeness, Spirituality

Trashy thinking               Clean Thinking

Criticising                         Looking for the Good

***

Let's bear in mind tomorrow as we will prepare to say:

"Just for today, I choose not to gamble.  I do so with a smile on my face!"

Have a great evening everyone,

Mixer

P.S. Thank you for your kind comments Dunpo!

Great post Mixer. I particularly like the Self Condemnation being replaced with Self Evaluation.

Any fool like me can sit for hours on end feeling shame and remorse but if it is not serving any practical purpose than it is just a waste of time.

Compare the above with taking a good honest look at oneself and the way one lives ones life and than formulating a plan of action to address failings or things one is not comfortable with.

Wishing all in the 100 Day Club a happy and contented day.

Stephen - 57 Days GF and feeling ok. 

Morning comrades, not feeling to well today, woke up with my throat so sore and feeling rather feverish. Body's aching all over (not feeling sorry for myself??)

I've got a 4 hour delivery at 1-5 the 2.5 hour delivery at 6-9:30 I think sometimes when your feeling a rather on the ill side the best thing to do is get on with life ?

Hope you all have a fantastic day and dont catch this horrible virus that's running through my body.

Today I make a simple vow, today I will not gamble.

I'll check back later today to see how people are.

P.s you are most welcome mixer 

*** Good afternoon! ***

I've just had a little surf of the diaries today and it's clear that, after all of the intensity and expectation of Christmas, this can be a difficult time for some of us.  Personally, I like this time of year the best.  It's quieter, less 'hubbub' and a good time to take stock. 

But sometimes, and I recognise this, that the extra time can present problems because it can get us thinking, and not always in a positive way.  The extra quietness might also give us the opportunity to do something we know we shouldn't.

If this is the case, let's stick together.  Phone Gamcare anytime.  Write posts (even though they take about 30 seconds to go through!).  Join us all on Group Chat.  You're never alone!

I find music/radio a fantastic companion.  I've bought a couple of Amazon Echo Dots, they're £25 at the moment (50% off).  They're great.  If you haven't got one of these, I recommend you get one!  If you need help setting it up, post here, I'll talk you through it (I appreciate we're not all technically attuned!).  You can phone anyone using it, for free (even Gamcare!!!).  They will open your eyes just a little more - these things opened mine.  My favourite station is Magic FM; it's always upbeat. I would be interested in your thoughts.  

***

Stephen - Thank you for your post; you're exactly right, we can look back and 'wish this happened' or 'wish that happened' but the truth is - it's wasted energy.  So long as we've learned the lessons of what happened, and accepted what happened at the time just happened at the time - that's Ok, we can put it to bed.  And move on.

Personally, I often wonder how my life would have been had my parents moved to Australia when I was a young boy in the 1970s.  There was no g****ing in Australia then, so would it have passed me by?  Would I have been rich, successful?  

Of course, there's no answer to that question because life takes us through so many different directions in so many different ways.  There's no real point asking 'what if'.  Look at the film 'Sliding Doors' - the lead, by chance, took what seemed to be a better path and ended up killed in a car accident!  So speculation, whilst a good 'daydream' perhaps, ultimately has no real benefit. There are simply too many 'imponderables'!

And what's "rich and successful" anyway, how do we judge that?  We are older, wiser now and whilst we need a certain amount of money,  of course, we need to be careful what we wish for.  Look at the lottery winner who passed away yesterday; £161m he won and him and his wife divorced earlier this year after 30 years marriage.  This change in personal circumstance can't have helped.  (I appreciate this is maybe an exception, but life's complex.) 

Who wants to be the "richest man in the graveyard" anyway?  If you asked a rich man on his deathbed what he would buy with all the money he had left it would be - "another day".

The beauty is we are all HERE and NOW.  Alive and kicking.  Valued and loved (more than we realise sometimes). Let's toast that.  We start from here; onwards and upwards - whatever happens we take it on the chin and deal with it!

I know you're aware of all of this, Stephen, which is why I like looking at the subject with you a little more deeply.

I like that you've said "I'm 54 days GF and feeling OK".  Not "brilliant" or "over the moon", but OK.  That will do, Stephen.  It's better than how you would have felt if you didn't carry out your vow today, but that's the whole point.  Let's keep going: it's raw, it's gritty, it's life.  Let's not have it any other way!

***

Dunpo - just a suggestion, but don't burn yourself out.  You can't do everything!  Your health is important, so do listen to what your body is telling you.  I appreciate the need for cash but, going one day g****ing free at a time, enables to start thinking with a medium-term view; you can start to pace things a little.  You'll know your situation much better than I do; I hope you don't mind me chipping in here.  Don't want you to get ill (worse!)

***

Enjoy today, everyone 🙂

"Just for today, today only, I choose not to g*****.  Not today."

Mixer

P.S.  Don't forget, when you post a reply, it takes about 30 secs to be accepted.  Just wait for the green message. Hang in there, it will be posted.  Gamcare are onto it: I'm sure it will be fixed soon.

*** Good evening! ***

It's been a few days but here is our latest position showing, in no particular order, the target dates that personally matter to you.  

I haven't heard from a few of our '100 day club' members for a while but you are welcome to 'check in' and drop me a post to say 'hello' and how you're getting along!  Unfortunately, such is the nature and pattern of our addiction, some us may have relapsed.  If so, just let us know ... we will always unconditionally support you. 

The way I see it, if you are honest here, on these forums - where it's anonymous, and can safely be honest - then that counts a lot to us.  Because we can help you, help each other, get 'back on the saddle' as we get back to g******-free fulfilment once again! 

But, equally, this is a very personal battle we each face.  If you want to change your dates for whatever reason - we never need to know why -  just let me know.

To keep the integrity of our membership, I will 'rest' you from the table below if I haven't heard from you in the last week, or don't hear from you in the next week.  I'll keep a 'rolling' 2-week check-in window from now on.

When you are 'rested' from the table I'll remove your name until I hear from you again.  We all wish you - always unconditionally - the very best either way!

In no particular order ...

bertieboo                           10th Mar 2020

Fir tree .                            28th Mar 2020

Stephen                            10th Feb 2020

Adam123                            31st Dec 2019

Franco1875                       19th Mar 2020

Spendlikewater84          Hon. Member!

Ineffable                            21st Feb 2020

EsoxLucius                       28th Feb 2020

Mixer                                  13th March 2020

Boo                                      17th Jan 2020

Fighter1                            Hon. Member !

Changing habit               28th Jan 2020

Danpo                                7th Mar 2020

Murlo                                11th Feb 2020

Determined to Stop        1st March 2020

***

We all know this isn't an easy journey, despite the fact we know full well how damaging it is. (I'm only on Day 25 by the way, I know only too well).  But for today, let's dig in.  Just for today, everyone.

Have an enjoyable Saturday night!

Mixer

Hello..I think my target is 20th January as I am counting from 12th October.. Thanks for it all mixer 

Boo ?

I like your watch out for and strive for lists. I personally think every one should have this list on there fridge even if they are not on this forum. All the best everyone. 

Evening Mixer, 

I am still on track for my 100 days date. Thank you so much for keeping this thread going. The daily motivations from you and others is definitely keeping me going x

Ita perfectly fine for you to chip in mixer, I can take constructive criticism, I think that's what we are all here for. 

The words out of others mouths are a big help. Tbh mixer after my last relapse I managed to go through a large portion of my income so need to work all I can right now, on the plus side I'm having a day off tomorrow and even though I'm still feeling under the weather I'll be ok.

Since I left school 15 years ago I've always worked the days that's gone by, then as I got my little family and house to look after (around 10 years ago) I've progressively worked more and more as the years go by. I love working if I'm honest, with me keeping busy is the key. When I sit around not doing much like you mentioned my mind begins to wonder, I'm taking up the gym soon so when I have got that spare time instead of sitting around in boredom I can get some excersize.???

Regard to what you mentioned about Stephen being g***** free for 54 days but feeling ok, that's something the past few weeks I'm working on and doing well with.

OK for me as never been good I've always wanted to be at the high point, I've had many addictions in my life I know I'm only 30 lol it's bad really but the main thing is I've conquered all of them. I'm now learning that feeling ok is a good feeling, feeling neutral is a good feeling. Like I say I always wanted a high, but right now I'm high on life and feeling ok. Great post by the way Stephen and great words from you also mixer.

For tonight guys and girls I'm off to bed, hope you all have some sweet dreams and are feeling as ok as I am right now???

Another day of great achievements, always remember we have a choice. And you know what mine is as I check in every morning and make that vow of choice. Peace out ??

Morning gf community and what a fine one it is, today I'm hoping to see the mighty wolves beat liverpool but if not oh well they are doing extremely well. My home team I'm just stuck for words in the top 5, done the double over city ????.

Ineffable it's nice to see you post facts about us compulsive g******* that once we start we cant stop and that's a fact. The most simple thin is not to place that first bet. I completely understand how you feel regarding being stuck in the house and maybe getting temptations, but this is when you need to be at your strongest. Maybe just completely leave the horses behind, maybe your tempting yourself to much by just picking them out for fun. I know it can be hard to change old habits but the thing is it can be done.Anyway all the best ineffable stay strong we can do this one day at a time.

To everyone else stay strong and keep it real. Always remember we have a choice let's all make the right one.

my simple vow, for today, just for today I'm not going to g*****.

Check back later to see how people's days have been.

That is a great post Danpo and from it I am taking the following 5 words to use as my mantra today:

☆ ☆ ☆ Stay Strong And Keep It Real ☆ ☆ ☆

Stephen - 58 days GF

*** Good Evening! ***

And a warm welcome from all of us in our 100 Day Club!  Thank you everyone for your check-ins, great to know you're still with us. 

And you're always with us if you happen to relapse - we'll get you back in the right place in no time, because we're a team and we look out for and look after each other.  Anonymous and over the internet we may well be, but we're real alright.

Let's finish this Christmas week on a high - being g***ing free, just for today.

***

Boo - thank you for your update, I'll adjust your 100 day target day accordingly.  And always great chatting to you on Group Chat, keeping it bright and breezy, but also keeping it real!

Changing habit - I quite agree; those lists are great.  In fact, I'll be revisiting them in future posts looking at each of the Watch Out For / Strive for items in turn.  I don't know what you think, but I feel that g****ing negatively makes the 'Watch Out' for attributes worse, and holds up back for the 'Strive For' attributes.  In other words, g****ing just makes everything worse.

Murlo - I'm delighted to see that you're on target and thank you for your kind words!  Believe me, your inspiring presence here on these forums really helps me too, and no doubt so many other recoverers as we aim for a different, fulfilling life.

Danpo - I'm loving how your taking the lead with your life and keeping it real - so important. Your posts are terrific and motivational.  They say we reap what we sow in this life, but you're laying the right foundations for success.  One day at a time, and a good underlying strategy in place, mentally, emotionally and practical  - that's what it takes!  It might not be easy, because life might be throwing us a lot of curveballs.  But the more we share our problems, as part of that strategy, the better things will be. 

Ineffable - the key part of your post is this:

"Still on track but have had a few temptations with horse racing over the past few days - picked a few winners which thankfully I didn’t back otherwise I would ended up chasing wins and losing money so happily realise I can’t win by gambling as I can’t stop when I start."

That's exactly it, Ineffable.  As (recovering) compulsive g******s, we can't place a bet because, win or lose, we'll eventually lose and then lose some more. That's our pattern.  In other words,  everything we bet is lost from the start.  So we mustn't bother - what's the point?

Even if we've gone X days without a bet.  We cannot start again, because we'll lose and then lose (much) more.  Let's listen to our heads, our hearts are already hurting too much.

Great post, Ineffable.  Hit the nail on the head.

Stephen - delighted to read on your diary posts that you are enjoying your time with your sister and kin.  Here's a toast to you - cheers!  And, I agree, Dunpo's mantra is great:

"Stay strong and keep it real!"

***

We know what to do, everyone.  Let's prepare for tomorrow, when we vow to:

"Just for today, as we start to bid farewell to 2019, I choose not to gamble.  I want to finish the year on a high, and there are just two days to go!"

Have a great evening everyone.

Mixer

I've just spotted this diary -bdog is 1 year g******-free!

I had to share this good news with you!

This is where we need to be (have no doubt).

This is where we want to be (although we can't always see this at first).

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/recovery-diaries/one-year-gamble-free/#post-1947381

just back from the gym and my legs and arms have turned to jelly over the last few weeks off. Back to work tomo and I'm decorating there so should be a physical couple of days so thought I go to gym to prepare. Looking forward to new years day off work and celebrating, I may visit some friends I may not depends on how much I get paid on the day. Already seen them all twice tho month so might sit it out and have a relaxing night in instead like last year which I really enjoyed. Well done to bdog used to chat to him a lot so pleased he's made it successfully to the year mark.