Dear SillyBoy1981,
Just a quick message to say well done on reaching 100 GF days. I can understand you having mixed emotions but this should not undermine all the hard work you have done and progress you have made in getting here; you should be very proud.
Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery.
Helen
Forum Admin
Congratulations on 100 days gamble free.
No more Silly Boy compulsive gambler. You are now a man of integrity who wishes to make his life on earth meaningful and worthwhile.
I wish you every success as you continue climbing your mountain. I think the view from the top will make it all worthwhile.
Stephen
Congrats Zoe on your 100 day milestone!
Thankyou ?
Well another milestone reached today for me..
Please set my next to 1st May. A new month to look forward to ??? Boo
Well done boo xx
Hi everyone, sorry I haven’t been chatting lately, things have been going very well (despite the current world problems), and although this is my day 100, my problem was popping in the bookies, and with them being shut at the moment, I kinda feel like the last few weeks have been a let off as if I wanted to, I couldn’t gamble because of the circumstances!!!
So I am grateful to become an honorary member, but really feel that my real 100 day will come 21 days after the bookies open again and I choose not to gamble!!!
I hope this makes sense and am grateful for your ongoing support! Thanks for being there my GF family.
LMG
Thank you and take care
Boo
?
Hi inneffible, ive hit my target today and feel pretty good. On day 152 today so think I miscounted when setting a target lol. I wont set another target and will hopefully remain an honourable member. many thanks
Day-153
Today is 153 days great in my sobriety & being gambling free!
Thats means that for 5 months or 21.6 weeks or 153 days I’ve been able to tackle something that has hindered & held me down!
These are still early days in my sobriety but ones I’m glad that I’m making. There has been a lot of testing times & moments in these first 5 months but for someone that gambled for over 20yrs I think I’ve done pretty well with what I have put in place for myself, so yeah I’m going to tell myself today that i deserve a pat on my back & not feel embarrassed or ashamed about it!
The road ahead is long & will 100% put in front of me more testing times, I hope that the network of family I have around me & the network of guides & aids I use will keep my life choice of sobriety strong & intact..
Gambling is seen by some to be black & white that it’s a choice to do it & to stop it... I don’t personally agree that it’s this way but everyone has the right to what they believe is their view or opinion on something. For me Gambling is a dark demon that consumes your emotions & your thoughts.. It removes you from reality & gives you a false sense of invincibility & then pulls the curtains back of reality once it’s taken you... It then owns you as it’s slave even if you do or you don’t want to be part of the ride you’re in that seat & there isn’t an exit...
Just writing this i hear all of those voices & demons & thoughts of gambling... It fills me full of anxiety & panic!
The only way I’ve found to get off the ride or to remove myself from the fairground of gambling is to be open & honest... First & foremost with myself, then with those closest to me in my girlfriend. This was so daunting as a thought 153 days ago BUT when I opened up & spoke about it all I can honestly say that it was like an awakening & a baptism of something safe. I’d put trust in myself to want to beat this addiction, I’d put trust in myself to wanting to be honest about this addiction & id put trust in that i was going to tell my partner about everything & I mean everything... The money I’d used & where I’d got it from, the debt I had racked up, the financial & emotion position I was in... I unloaded everything I had in me & I was drained... On that day then I rang the gambling line & I broke down again in tears but I opened up about everything, I had my girlfriend with me & we both spoke to the other person on the end of the line & they advised & listened to both sides of what was happening... I signed up to all of the stoppers you can to the electronics of blockers... I have all my banking details over to my partner & went through my incoming & outgoings, the available balance left now gets transferred into a savings account that I don’t have access to (obviously unless it’s properly required for things that are 100% not gambling related)... I spoke to councillors, about gambling & my mental health...
Because I was not in control & I was not balanced needed to relinquish control... This was by no means easy & I challenged it as it was tough & unsettling... But i knew that if I truly wanted to beat this I had to be honest & I had to ask & I had to use the help that was in front of me.
I know I couldn’t put a blocker as such on the high street shops for gambling but i found that because I relinquished control & of my bank account & went through my availability of money I looked at the high street shops in a completely different light... They’re not a coffee shop where you’re meeting up with friends for a chat... They’re not a comfort to me, they’re a leech on you...
You need to make a new normal & a new pattern for yourself as the ones that you were using before didn’t help or work... Look at everything on the small side & not at the larger view... Like focus on not going to the gambling shop for 1 day & tucking that off on a diary & be openly happy that you’ve achieved that goal & realise that it is a big first step that you’ve achieved it... Try not to focus on the never ever going in there again... It’s the constant small gains of bearing this addiction that drive me forward in my sobriety... Keeping this online diary, talking openly about it to my girlfriend, keeping a written journal about to highs & lows of what I’m feeling, tallying the days of my sobriety & giving myself milestones & goals in year 1 to achieve... Then moving that onto year 2 & so on... That will be a never ending goal but I have found that simply counting days wasn’t enough to focus me...
I have by no means beaten gambling or do I believe that I am completely exempt from its draw... But I know I have the ability in me now to say no... I have the strength to look at gambling for what it is & not want to do it.
Something that sticks with me that my councillor said to me a long time ago was “It’s ok to not be ok”...
Talking & honesty are key for what I’m going through. I am a happy 153 days in my sobriety & I live in Hope & happiness that this continues!
Speak again soon!
Day -200
Its been a couple of weeks since my last post on my sobriety BUT what a day to come back & hola at myself!!! 200 days clean & free of gambling!!! I mean not to be too excited but f***g check me out right!!! Whoop whoop...
Changing my life for a gambling free life is one of the best decisions I’ve ever had the privilege to have made in my life...
My mind space feels so much clearer... I feel focused on where I am & on so many possibilities of where I can move forward..!
These again are still early days but I love my life choice & how good I feel...
200 days clean on my sobriety!!
We can all do this!
Speak again soon! X
Back again after relapsing,did pretty well about 4 months gf then relapsed, anyway last bet was 10th July,so 3 days gf,hoping to beat this terrible addiction this time
Still gf,?
Hi just stumbled across this thread again and read silly boys post really made me think, think about how far we've come. I'm hitting the 300 day mark tomo with a lot of help from my friends on here. Its about setting annual goals to achieve....like silly boy my success came from also giving up alcohol. I wasn't an alcoholic but sobriety makes correct decisions a lot easier and no hangovers ever is pretty good. I went thru my vices and stopped them one by one, cannabis 12 years free, smoking 4 years free, alcohol 2 years free and gambling 300 days free. I'm totally tee total and reaping the benefits. All the best Adam. I'll be back on 365
Congratulations Ineffable on 400 days gamble free.
Excellent achievement.
Wishing you every happiness.
Stephen
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