*** Afternoon everyone! ***
As we're settling down, one day at a time, to this better way of living, we always need to be on guard. There is always an 'euphoria' when we first decide to live life as it should be lived.
The first few days are fine - we're licking our wounds. Feeling guilty. Pig sick. Absolutely determined. We've said "sorry never again" and fluttered those puppy-dog eyes.
(But possibly skint anyway or not in a position where we can do much more damage.)
Then we settle into it, up to the number of days until the next pay day, so up to 30 days if you're salaried. Still focused, but needing to keep that focus. Hopefully, decent practical steps have been put into place.
The real test is the next time money comes in, like salary, or whatever. The devil looks at you, and says, there's some money there. Some of it might be spare. You 'feel good' ... but it's all a trick.
Ignore it. If you have been able to put in place practical steps, like handing over financial control, this is where it really matters.
You might be thinking: it's Christmas, I need to buy presents, I need to but a surprise for my wife/partner whoever and they will see how much it costs so I need my card ...
Ignore it! This is the devil talking. I promise you, your partner or whoever would much rather know how much things cost, or didn't have a 'surprise', rather than see you g*****.
The best gift you can give is NOT to g*****.
Always exercise common sense. Listen to your inner voice. Don't kid yourself!
Milestones matter because they represent progress. I think 30 days is a good target, because you may have had spare money coming your way during this time.
100 days proves you can cope with multiple instances of this; that's why it's such an important target.
But always one day at a time.
If you're struggling today, please, hang on, just for today.
Some fantastic posts on here, will have an evening update later, but, for now, I have to do some work 🙂
Mixer
Well said Mixer.
well todays the hardest day of the week for me instead of going to the pub I'm going out for a meal with some friends....as long as I don't go on the fruit machine ill be fine.
*** Good evening! ***
"7 sleeps till Christmas" and all that, but it can be a stressful time, this. The truth is that we can manage it much better without the curse of g*******. So, let's stick together, team, and get there, one day at a time.
Some people think that in a group like ours that if one person relapses it "opens the floodgates" because the next person 'isn't first'. It kind of takes the pressure off.
The way to rationalise this is that we are not under any pressure, actually. We just need to stick to our promise today, not to place a bet, or even think about it. We choose to do it. We have the freedom to choose to do what's best for us. We want to give ourselves a break. Just for today.
On these forums, being totally anonymous an' all, we can be honest. I reckon we're more honest here than in real life - let's face it, we know this isn't a condition many people understand and we'd rather not let them know. (Let's be honest, we've lost money, because when we did win, we gave it back and more. It doesn't make sense, does it?)
So let's vow to be honest on these forums, with ourselves. The one place where we don't kid ourselves. If you do buckle - and please don't, just for today - you're welcome to share the news. We will support you. And it doesn't mean anyone else has to follow suit - we're not sheep, we're all facing our own battles here with the backing of us all. (Although ... let's be sheep when we're following each other on the g******-free trail!)
Here's how we're doing. Let's keep going. Just for today!
EsoxLucius 28th Feb 2020
Mixer 13th March 2020
Boo 17th Jan 2020
Fighter1 Hon. Member ? <-- our target is to reach and stay there!
Changing habit 28th Jan 2020
Danpo 7th Mar 2020
Murlo 11th Feb 2020
Determined to Stop 1st March 2020
Stephen 10th Feb 2020
Adam123 31st Dec 2019
Franco1875 19th Mar 2020
Spendlikewater84 23rd Dec 2019
Ineffable 21st Feb 2020
***
Stephen - thank you for your kind comments and glad you're enjoying the Salsa - fantastic my friend!
Adam - you're doing a great job. Remember, when out and about, no-one wants to see you on those slots. It's a bit 'sad' and the local slot experts love you doing it - they'll win the money you'll lose. Fact. So don't bother.
Danpo - you're entering an important phase. In fact, my morning update was written with you in mind. Now's the time for focus Ok. I have faith in you Danpo.
Changing habit - thank you for your kind words to fellow members of our 'club'. We're all here to support each other. And we can succeed, actually - one day at a time!
Boo - nice to chat to you on the chat tonight ... keep it going you're doing great !!
Murlo - thank you for confirm the red wine you prefer, not the one I thought 🙂 ! (Why is the word red asterisked by Gamcare? Puzzling ...)
Tomorrow, we hit midweek. Let's keep strong. Let's have the best run up to Christmas EVER - with that priceless peace of mind that being g*******-free can bring.
Goodnight all,
Mixer
Cheers mixer I had a lovely meal and didn't look at the fruit machine or think about the fruit machine once, infact I thought about it more before I went out. Lets roll into Christmas with high spirits. much love to all. I have now gone thru the tough patch as I don't think the pub poker is on next week so I don't have to miss it well I will miss it physically but I don't think its on as its Christmas eve, plus I think I will just sit in and look forward to the Christmas day the next day next Tuesday. Much love to all on here im not drunk but im very very thankfull I found this thread and it showed me the way thru Christmas!!!! c u tomo folks
Superstar Adam ?
Great update by Mixer. Well done and a big thank you, plus respect, to a man with compassion, wisdom and understanding.
Love and best wishes to all our friends and fellow travellers who are standing together, side by side, battling this insidious addiction.
Our futures start now at this very moment in time so let's treat ourselves with kindness, understanding and firmness as we strive to rediscover our lives.
Stephen - 47 Days on the clock - rocking and a-rolling up the gamble free road.
great motivational speech mixer, your a legend !
Adam thanks for the feedback.
Everyone stay strong we can all do this if not for our loved ones at least for ourselves. Might sound a bit selfish but od we dont docit for ourselves then our loved ones will pay the price anyway.
Keep your heads up people.
*** Good morning! ***
Adam - delighted you had an enjoyable evening. One word to the wise about your poker - the skill and luck element fires the same synapses in the brain as g******. Therefore, sadly, it's not a good thing. True mates will understand you not joining them; even those mates who are critical or don't understand don't mean you any harm - they simply don't understand this addiction. So just bear that in mind. You know, deep down, and I know, that you seriously need to consider your continued participation in the poker school. I'll leave it there because it is your decision.
However, all that said - really really (really) happy that yesterday you chose not to g*****. Please, extend this for just one more day - today. Just don't today because you don't have to, not necessarily because you don't want to. There is a difference.
Stephen - thank you for your very kind words. Sincerely, I apply the very same attributes to you; the compassion, wisdom and understanding you've shared, plus your natural humility ... and you keep it real. I doff my cap to you, Stephen. I know you don't ask or ever fish for compliments, Stephen; the very reason I've giving them.
Danpo - I was struck by what you have written:
"Might sound a bit selfish but of we don't do it for ourselves then our loved ones will pay the price anyway."
That is exactly right. Let's never forget, our loved ones never asked for this. Whenever we give ourselves grief they often bear the brunt. Let's not do that to them, for what does that make us? All the "good times" don't mean a jot if the "bad times" are killing our relationships. No more!
Danpo, just for today - make the right decision. Just for today, that's all!
***
When I was a kid, I was terribly travel sick.
In fact, the very thought of travelling in the back seat of a car made me feel ill.
When I think of gambling, I get the same feelings. That sickly, nauseous feeling you get when you've wasted another hard-earned lump of money, depriving us and our loved ones of the value of that money, the time we took to lose it, the grumpiness, and guilt we pass onto them, the detriment to our own health.
G****** makes us mentally and physically sick. So let's not bother.
However just for today we're not going down that road!
So let's all toast our good health! Have a great Wednesday everyone.
Mixer
*** Evening, Friends! ***
There is always something new and motivational to learn about the life we should be living, rather than the one that has been grinding us down.
Here's a gratitude list that Freda has kindly agreed that I can share with you. Freda has written many of these; I hadn't heard of them before but they're a great way of taking stock and looking at the blessings we have.
You can find Freda's diary here:
Here's Freda latest gratitude list:
1) I am grateful for the friendship of my ex-husband. He knows me very well and it is good to be able to talk to him about things.
2) I'm grateful for the warmth I feel for and from my colleagues. We had a silly group chat with our manager earlier, it was nice.
3) I'm grateful to have had a couple of days off work to rest and catch up on things. I feel better for it.
4) Grateful for my physical health. I have a healthy blood pressure and am able bodied. This is a good start!
5) I'm grateful for my car. I enjoyed having a little ride out in it yesterday.
6) I'm grateful for kindness. Ex-hub brought a xmas cake through from the next city for me, as we don't have that particular shop in my city. It was very kind of him, as I know he hates busy shops.
7) I'm grateful my washing machine still works. I inherited one when I bought this house and wasn't sure how long it would last but it's still going, a year later.
8) I'm grateful for vegan fast food. There is more choice out there now and in winter, I often buy snacks and sandwiches when I'm out, as I have less energy and motivation for cooking.
9) I'm grateful for bargains! I got two sandwiches from Boots for 45p each, the other day.
10) I'm grateful I sleep well. There was a time when I didn't and it was very hard.
---
Wonderful, isn't it.
Let's have a great evening, everyone and tomorrow, we just need to make a simple vow. Just for a day!
Take care,
Mixer
It's just inspiring. I too will create one.. We need to be positive.. This truly will balance my ying and yang.. Thank you lovely freda and mixer
Nite n bless
Boo ?
That is a wonderful idea.
I am grateful for having good people to share my recovery with
I am grateful to still be alive and have a chance now to live a gamble free life
I am grateful to Mixer and the 100 Day Club for the inspiration
I am grateful to have a roof over my head and plenty of food
I am grateful that I can still laugh smile and dance
Stephen x
Well done everyone.
been a bit too caught up in work, having my garden down and the darts. Great to read to positivity.
keep thinking of that gamble free Xmas day and how much you’ll all enjoy it
Good morning everyone, well not so good as I'm not at work due to the weather, cant do a roof in the rain now can we? on the plus side I have a second job to ba k me up so looks like I'll be heading out to play Santa for amazon ?
Let's all stay positive through this xmas period.
Today I am not going to g*****. I find it very helpful to wake up and tell myself this.
Hope you all have a great day.
I'll check back in later on today before my 2nd ever ga meeting ???
Morning Danpo,
Your positive attitude is infectious ?. Have a good day playing Santa. I will join you in being g***** free today. I have decided to hang a new decoration on my Xmas tree for each day I am g***** free and there are still some some gaps to fill so I will be keeping going!
All the best for your GA meeting. It is good to hear you are going back for seconds.
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