the end of the road, a new start on the way

hi Ands, 7 weeks good work mate

Glad you and the boys have had a good weekend, things are settling for me i hope and feel a bit better today.

To Answer your question i work for the NHS, now there's an organization that knows how to waste money.....:-)

have a good week.

green x

Hi Ands,

Thanks for your support as always, really appreciate the time you take to make somebody else's day better. You are doing great in your recovery and I root for you every day.

Look after those little fellas of yours.

Take care.

DT

Day 50, Thanks for your posts DT and Green.. i will not gamble today.

Feeling ok, getting life back on track slowly but surely. Still missing family and ex friends but such is life.

Take care all, ands

A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. ~David Brinkley

I think you have laid those foundations for yourself and those beautiful boyz

Take Care Ands

STAY STRONG

Kim xx

Hi ands,

Hows things mate, what you and the boys up to this weekend ? Nothing going on in greens world really, same s**t different day, but no gambling so that's good.

stay strong ands.

green x

Day 56, i have not gambled and will never gamble again. Been a real hard weekend, spent it in Chelsea and Westminster hospital with my sons, my youngest had a wasp sting that he had an allergic reaction to, been home about an 2 hours.

Doctors tomorrow with my little bundle of joy, lukes a very strong little boy... He went purple and could not breathe it was scarey and horrible.

2 months no gambling, no urges and i feel sick, tired and very emotional. He will be ok tho and for that i am sooooooooo very grateful to all the staff at the a and e department at the hospital.

Broadband went down for a few days so gonna catch up with DT and Green, my mates, hope you guys are ok......

Take care whoever reads this and remember lifes so very much better without sh*tty gambling in our sad little lifes. Cos without my boys i am nothing and life would not be worth the struggle. ands

Hi Ands,

Thanks for your e/mail and support, have replied. I sometimes don't know what else life can throw at some of us, but if we can beat this stuff while not gambling, surely that is a good omen for the future.

You are doing so well to stay so strong, perhaps you surprise yourself just how resilient you are?

Keep going my friend,

DT

Hi Ands

Sounds like you are having nothing but bad luck , sorry to hear about your son , but glad that the A&E did their jobs at full speed and all is ok. In the days number 50+ now which shows what can be done when we finally say 'enough is enough' of gambling.

In honesty I gambled daily for 30 odd years and must say that 6 months off has been a godsend to me, sounds as if your are feeling the same with a good period of abstinence. NEVER EVER again eh!!!

Day 57, i will not be gambling today or again....

Taking luke back doctors later this morning, hes getting better, thanks for your posts and take care all. ands

Morning Ands,

Day 57 - sounds good, one hell of an achievement considering the past behaviour.

Enjoyed chatting last night, sorry had to go but when you are living in somebody else's house, you lose your freedom a bit. Hope luke gets on ok at the hospital today and c u in chat or speak soon.

Take care.

DT

So happy that you managed to get through these scary experiences without relapsing.

I love hearing you talk about your sons, its gorgeous 🙂

If Luke is a strong little boy he must take after his Dad.

Take care,

f x

Hi mate,

Sorry to here about the rough weekend you have had, and so glad your lads OK, I'm so guilty of getting caught up in my own s**t, i forget how much more important issues there are, like you say our kids are the most important thing, and there health.

Your doing so well in recovery mate and do a great job with the boys, it's clear to see in your posts how much you love them, and really nice to see you getting your life back, as you know i have had a couple of tough days, but just wanted to pick up on somthing you said, yes our kids are our world mate and what give us strength, but you and me ands also deserve to be happy and enjoy life and what it has to offer, that way we can enrich the lives of the kids even more.

Take care mate and keep going, your story inspires me to remain strong, by how far you have come.

catch ya soon

green x

Day 58, no gambling for me today or tomorrow or the day after that... My little boy getting better up most of the night with him, poor thing was in quite alot of pain, leg still very swollen and high temparture took a while to go last night. One wasp sting caused so much trouble and pain for my son.

Where ever i seem to go fruit machines seem to be everywhere, they like a plaque waiting to infect me again, as for the shops those scratch cards glaring at me, like they calling me.......... I'm not mad well i dont think so lol!

Crazy realy when ever bad things happen the easy route is to gamble, not facing up to the real problems life throws at us.. Very childish behaviour and irresponsible.

The normal thing after this weekend for me would to have a good old session in the arcade to make myself feel better, but we all know it only helps when we are gambling and afterwards we feel 100 times worse. I have now gone over the 2 month period without a gamble in any form.

My 2 sons start back at school a week monday, thats when the urge will be back in full force, i know it....... So i will be prepared and i will kick the urge back to hell where it belongs.

Take care all, lifes better without the crappy, life destroying addiction which will destroy you if you let it. We all have choices, mine never to gamble again... ands

Morning Ands,

Hope luke is ok today. Agree with green that your kids are a great reason to stop gambling, but agree even more that you need to do it for you.

We punish ourselves for so long with this behaviour that it would be great one day to have enough self-respect not to carry on hurting ourselves, let alone those close to us.

Have a good day and will catch up later.

DT

Hi Ands,

Hope Luke has had a better day today, i can totally relate to that feeling in town, it's almost like the arcades have a 'magnetic pull' when we are weak, i felt it today so avoided going into town and went to asda outside of town.

A little quote i herd today it struck a chord with me.

The key to change is to let go of fear.

For me it rang a few bells, i have fear of many things in life, gambling being just one, the way i look at it is when i treat gambling as a 'fear' somthing that could destroy me again it will always be a fear, i hope one day gambling is no longer a fear, it may not be for some time yet, but one day i would like to walk past an arcade without that feeling of vulnerability, that sick feeling in my stomach, one day it will be just another shop on the high st, one that i choose not to use but i do not 'fear'. I can also apply this quote to many other areas of my life at the moment.

Just my thoughts today, Hope you are well mate, and when the kids do go back to school, remember that's what we are here for, post a little more, read a little more, or get out and about if you can, if the urge strikes just remember you are in control and have come a long way mate.

Keep up the good work.

green x