the first day of the rest of my life

Good for you for being honest Maddie..xx.

Really thinking about your 2 days now at your daughters.

You already know you are vulnerable and have come up with a plan which is good.

I know your husband is supportive..have you told him how you feel?..Will he be with you or can he be on the end of a phone for you over these 2 days?

Was going to suggest that you also keep net line number handy as even if you have urges you can pick up then phone and talk it through. If you are on the pc you could log onto this site and use your diary to get things out..

Even when you empty your account tomorrow don't leave it at that.Stay connected..its important that whatever goes through your head you must find a way to get it out..I am off tomorrow and saturday so I will have my ipad close all day so consider me there all the time and only a short distance away.

...I know and trust that you will be ok but if you need any support don't keep it in.....its unconditional Maddie..always will be (((M)))) your a lovely lovely lady I can tell xxxx BIG HUGS X 100000

"Make it so" Maddie...I know you will be fine and i know you will do the right thing....do post though..just to let me know how you are and what your eating!..lol

Think i will do some baking this weekend as not done any for ages...not as adventurous as date and pecan but can knock up a nifty scone.

So sorry about your doggy.....we get so attached to them don't we...I looked at a cairn on the internet before I got Dotty...Im addicted to that classified ads site where they advertise all the doggies that need homes....could take them all in........keep in touch ..or i shall be on your diary calling "Cooooo eeeeeeee"

Night night ((((M))))) xxxxxxxx Big hugs xx

Hello lovely...glad your online...didn't want to hassle you today and sounds like you are going strong ..had a nice afternoon with the lady from group...she has a 4 year old so not much chatting more playing with xmas pressies lol...

Keep in touch Maddie...thinking of you and will be in all night with pal watchig dvd.s and eating!!! ....will pop by later tonight to say coooo eeeee and goodnight ......((((M)))) xxxxxx Big hugs and wuffs......xxxx

ps..think your reunion idea is great..if i remember you met up with someone on here once? did it go ok and do you still keep in touch?

I have thought about that too.... am guessing for some its the anonymity that is important and perhaps in real life it would be a bit weird..i love meeting people ...and i love the name badge idea...funny if we all had to guess who is who...lol...speaky soon xxx

coooo eeeeeee....night night maddie...friend just left and im off to bed xxx ..good to hear that your meeting was a success and you still keep in touch...friendship so important xxxxx (((M))) big hugs xxx

Top o the morning to you Maddie...just woken up and going to let Dotty out for a wee wee and then coffee and toast...

How was your night?? any plans today? bit warmer up here so may even venture past the end of the road...keep in touch and let me know how you are ...sending you a cuppa "U"....(no sugars we're slimming remember!!!) ...and a coooo eeee .....(((M))) big hugs and wuffs xxxxxx '

I am hoping that you did not win on that scratchcard.

As we all know what this might lead to.

If you DID win, just remember to keep the winnings for yourself and say that this was an incredibly rare, lucky moment.

GT

No GT I did not win on the scratchcard, I am very very cross with myself, for buying it, but it could have been worse, I suppose.

Had a good day today Rachel, been for a lovely long walk with the grandkids and hubbie, but we did end up in Mcdonalds!!

Well the kids wanted one, so what is a Nanny to do?

Back home now all snug, waiting to see if it snows.

I am very worried about a dear friend of mine, he had a mild heart attack on Thurs night, he is fine, but shell shocked and looking to change his lifestyle. His bp was raging high as high could be, but on strong meds to bring it down. So many people these days have bp issues, including me, do we all live under such extreme pressure now, or is it simply weight and fitness related?

Anyway hope your weekend is good and that you are a happy bunny today and that Dotty will go out in the cold to do her doodles!!! xxxx U and __O_O_O__

(biscuits on a plate) xxxxxhugsxxxxx

hello "lady what does lunch""....my fave pastime too..

Sounds like you have had a good time with the kiddies and think the whole of UK is staying in tonight..DB will have a packed audience..

Its actuallly freezing rain up here ..dont think ive never seen that before..and Dot not impressed to have to go outside...

Your right about BP and Cholesterol both soaring with us Brits..I definitely think its stress that is pumping up the figures..in my job I see lots of people with it and all the symptoms and their anxiety high..just going for the bp test cn be pressure enough.....

I hope your friend is under a good doctor...there are herbals that are good for high BP but as he is on meds already it wouldn't be worth doing both as may duplicate effect....

This time of year is worse aswell as the blood thickens up in the winter making it harder to pump round...thats why nettle soup was always a traditional dish for winter in days of yore to thin the blood down and stop clotting....no doubt it tasted yuckky and am sure thats not the soup your having ,,lol...

Am still a happy bunny and am merrily nibbling on those biccys ...milk choccy digestives...my faave!!

Night night Maddie...and go easy my friend...speaky soon xxxxx ((((M))))) xxxx

Hiya Maddie...thanks for continued support...just posted the map for context really so people know where im coming from..its like im listing someone elses life really as so much been processed and out the other side.Now I have a golden opportunity to use the experience, not get too stuck and move forward...

Had a lot of time to reflect on life due to many hours in a car for work and no kids!! lol....just glad to be on this forum and see it as a two way street for understanding....doesn't matter where we come in on this really as all wanting the same thing...peace of mind and happy in our own skin.

Am totally optimistic about the future and probably like yourself having almost a second childhood now...I like getting older as wouldn't want to go back...have a smashing time with the little ones Maddie...take care and am always here....its unconditional...xxx ((((M)))))......dotty wuffs xx..ps ..sense of humour pretty outrageous normally ...hee hee xxx

Hi Maddie,

It is hard not to worry about friends. I have a friend who is always lurching from one disaster to the next, but do you know what? she is making bad choices. I have distanced myself a bit, because all the drama and grief is a bit upsetting and depressing. I encouraged her gently, to make better choices for years. She can only do it for herself though. So far, she hasn't.

Hopefully this mild heart attack will be the shock your friend needed, to realise they need to start taking better care. I think we are all more stressed these days, but I believe the solution is in our hands if we want it. We have higher expectations than we did say, 50 years ago, and when you expect to have everything you want, you feel less happy with what you have. It is really sad. An exotic holiday every year, and a nice car, matching furniture, and eating out twice a week are not worth it if it gives you a heart attack/ulcer/stroke in order to get it.

Sounds like you know what its all about though - hanging out with the grandkids, and just enjoying them : )

Take care,

f x

coooo eeeeeee...home sweet home for you and time to relax...are you worn out? ...no baking before tomorrow! just had a massive clear out of clothes and sent a load to the charity..anything even with 10 per cent lycra is out out out..feel decluttered...keep posting maddie...gonna do my soup and crusty bread a la you last week,.xxx (((((M))))) huggles

...how much is that doggy in the window.?..wuff wuff

LOL xxxxxxx

cooo eeeeee hun....just a drive by to see if your ok? ......wuffs from Doo xxx

Hi honey, yes I am fine thank you, busy week with kids, and best friend who has been poorly. Have a busy weekend with another friend coming to stay, she and went to secondary school together, so have been friends for 40 years...ooo err, I only feel 16 so I am not sure how that works! We are going to see Woman in Black tonight, so looking forward to that. I have been reading your diary hun, and I cannot say how proud I am of how well you are doing. You seem to have it all sussed!

I have given myself a pat on the back for coping with a laptop that was unprotected this week, but know I must not get complacent, because thats when I fail. But for now life is good, and I intend to keep it that way. No going back only looking ahead, day at a time.......have a good weekend sweetie, catch you later xxxxxbig wuff for dotty too xxxxx