the first day of the rest of my life

cooo eeee....morning lovely...look at you busy busy lady..i think its great and you are absolutely right to give yourself a huge pat on the back for coping with the temptations of the laptop ...you got through it and made all the right choices in removing any risk.... BIG HUGS from me on that too......

am chuckling at you being 16 inside...know that feeling only too well..perhaps we are like those russian dolls and can regress to any age depending on circumstance...lol I was 12 last week.

Thanks for being with me Maddie...don't know about sussed but absolutely clear now about where all this has come from...just need to now apply what I know now to my daily life...still will have more challenges to come as we all do in life but hopefully am in a much stronger position to deal with them when they come along...looking ahead too..

Enjoy Woman in Black Maddie.....its a theatre production and a film isn't it??

I fancy that one too....let me know what you think..

have a good weekend too my lovely and keep posting xxxxxxxxx wuffs ...its unconditional Maddie as always ...(((((M))))))) xxx

hiya lovely....bring pecan and date ...and come join us on the ledge xxx

Hi yeeee, here I am, knackered after a great weekend....go see Woman in Black it is so good, very jumpy in places, but well worth it. Will write more tonite got friend coming now for birthday cake and coffee

xxxxxxxx

sounds a good one Maddie ...its getting amazing reviews...glad you had a good weekend...feet up busy lady xxx

Hiya Maddie...off to a meeting later as still a bit out of sortss and agitated...felt like a drink to chill but resisted...cant really turn up smelling of wine lol..

It"s probably just because Valentines day looming...hearts everywhere and the brain working overtime trying to forget past anniversarys etc...I know its not real because for every valentines day there were many more days of being miserable so I am just kidding myself really ...getting all misty eyed....

On the CODA retreat we have a full itinery planned....lots of inner child work so guess there will be some blubbing! One of the things we have to bring a pressie wrapped up that we wanted as a kid but couldn't or didn't have....wondering how Im going to fit a jag in my wrapping paper...LOL ...just kidding .....

Im going with my friend of many years Sue but if we have to do work in a twosome we shall have to split up as if we start laughing we wont stop...thats my only fear really as I don't want to ruin it for other people if me and Sue start turning into Edina and Patsy from AbFab....

So ..there we shall be....all us women ...retreating in the sticks in Wales..no escape ....Am going to take chocolate and hide it in the dorm! Guessing its going to be like boarding school for 40plus year old women...Speaky soon Maddie..don't go missing too long and your doing greaat...hopefully I shall be in the chill zone some time shortly with you xxxxx..Virtual Spa x..Love Rach n Dotty xx((((M)))))

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

Dotty and Rach

Sending cyberhugs to you....

((()))) Happy Valentines Day Maddie......spreading the love....xxx

thanks Maddie....loving that poem too...xxx lets hope next year i will be telling you to buy a hat and sending out some invites....lol....Happy Valentines lovely.... xxx ((((M))))) wuffs

hiya Maddie...glad that Valentines is done....got a bit maudlin and started picking me scab!! on the up again now and no more anniversaries now for a while to navigate ...hope your ok hun..you sound in fine fettle xxxxxx Hugs ((((((M)))))))xxxxx

what happened to WIW? and our slimming.(.I ask myself whilst looking in my fridge full of sweetie stuff)!

The practice starts tomorrow on the pancakes Maddie...those Crepieres are fab ..love to see them in action like printing a massive record on a turntable...only reason I used to go to France...hee hee

Will look out for Jamies recepie...I got his book at the good food show at the NEC a few years ago and got it signed...whooooooo...wouldn't mind picking up Rick Steins Spain one too...great for summer recepies..in fact im going to get that one tomorrow as its on offer..

have you ever been to the NEC good food show Maddie?...what a blast...I worked that show a few times with last employer but nevr got a chance to really browse as had to do shifts on the exhibition stand.(sore feet)...

Hope you have a good weekend planned with the kids??...weather picking up...you'll be wanting to put those feet up again if your busy busy...bought some near clothes today as sick of seeing myself in brown and cream...nothing flash..just some bits but feeling like spring isn't too far now xxxx big hugs (((((M))))) and wuffs from Dotty ...don't go missing too long....or you'll get a cooooo eeeeeee .. lol xxx

hey missy....just picked up my jaw from the floor over your mums comment about men...lol...love it! its like that Jerry Hall one...hee hee...

That quote today was left on my Facebook by a friend....made me think too.

The good news is your hubby has wanted to help you unpack your baggage but whatever happens with your marriage don't ever think that no one else would not want to do the same with you...

And its two way.....whoever you meet would want to help as you would want to help for them...your WORTH unpacking for hun!

You sound a lovely lady and lots of fun too...who wouldn't want to stay and unpack with you?????.

.

I think you have so much to offer...lots more aswell as your cooking!!.... maybe you need to come on this retreat and find your "inner Maddie" and get in touch with all those things and dormant talents that are in there but in boxes....

Unpacking is not just the scary stuff..its all the good stuff that we have hidden too...just needs bringing out.....

Keep posting Maddie and sending extra big hugs (((M))))...wuffs xxxx Rach and Dotty xx

am struggling Maddie...I can't forgive..I'm really trying to but I can't..am just too angry still .....all his losses replaceable but mine aren't...sorry for picking off my scab xxx (((((M))))))

Sweetie, you are entitled to be angry, and forgiveness takes time, it cannot be rushed, I know how hard I tried to force the issue with my daughters, I tried to speed up their forgiveness, to make me feel better, but it had to run its course, and for my eldest daughter it took longer. For you it will take as long as it takes for you to find some peace of mind, for the anger to subside, i know this is the other side of the coin babe, but my point is you will have days when you are fired up, days when you feel calm and those days will gradually outweigh the bad, i promise you. xxxx((((((R&D))))))

Hiya Maddie...just back from meeting..feel pretty much the same.Cried all the way there and and sat with face in scarf for rest of meeting.Had nothing to contribute...I know what your saying is true.I'm trying to force it all because sitting in the pain is worse and I hate feeling a victim..I really do..its not me.

Don't know whether to have a break from here for a bit...I will ignore that post as you suggested.Unless people know where i'm coming from and have been there from the start I have no idea of their intentions towards me...Just wish this anger would go away.

Thanks Maddie for being there...I know you understand..going to try and slow down ...((((((((M))))))))) Bug hugs xxxx

hi Maddie...got to the end of my posting to you and realised its on my diary!!!..was going to ask how long it took your daughters to accept things...was it months or years?..just want to be reassured really that this A and R bit wont last for ever. xxxx

hiya maddie......ggrrrr..i'm still replying on my diary again and forgetting to reply on yours...anyhow..post on my diary for you ...going to try life on the outside this week (after WIW) of course....think i'm in a c*l de sac with all the stuff we've been chatting about...not going to disappear but going to see if i can do it on my own for a while and try and see if i can get to "Acc".....will be back in a few days if it gets too much!! Will pop in and see everyone at the end of this week..if i make it that long!!

Speaky soon ...will be here for wiw tomorrow and then try and phase a bit. xxxx ((((((M)))))))) xxxx