the first day of the rest of my life

Hi Maddy well done on your 7 days an easter egg seems like such a small thing for some people but for us a huge sign of success. enjoy.

Hi Maddy

Thaks so much for your message it made me feel much better and you're right I will reach 7 days and more. I'll just keep on trying and th longer I go the easier it will get ( I hope). the support on her is so welcome. just when I start to feel really down, I come on here and there are messages of support that instantly pick me back up. Thank you so much for your lovely messages. Carmelly

Hi Maddie

Well done on your first week.Imagine in one years time how many Easter eggs you can buy lol.Stay strong All the best Jeff.

Hi Maddie,

Well done on your achievement!

That little bit of money means a lot, I know. Have a lovely Easter with your family, indulge in lots of chocolate!

Thank you Jeff, Pinksparkle and Carmelly for your posts. This site really does help, I am not against GA in anyway as when I attended, as the only woman amongst 50 men I was spoilt rotten but very rarely did I get a chance to share with other women and I think that is one benefit of this site, plus you get to read the pain from the partner of the gambler and that helps as well. Day 8 today so onwards and upwards as they say, take care everyone and be strong, Mad x

8 days and counting maddie. .well done You can do it lass we all can. .

Hi maddie thanks for leaving your lovely comments on my diary. You are doing really well hon, keep it up. I have lots of underlying issues as well which causes me to gamble, a paranoid mother, married twice, and a stressful sales job, I think this makes me gamble. Gone 2 days now lot long but will keep going. Let me know how you get on keep going made up for you. Just think of the money you will have. Dee x

Wow today a corner has been turned, both sets of daughters and their families have been to visit today, not for long and at different times, but what a step forward....thank you thank you thank you, it is what I have been waiting for a thaw, they have no idea that I had been up to my old tricks again recently, this thaw is from the last time my life hit rock bottom which is over 18 months ago. If ever I need an incentive now to stay on the straight and narrow, then I have it. There is a new baby on the way, life suddenly feels hopeful. All it will take is for me to stay away from slots and all will be well. Can i do it? YES I CAN!!!!

Hi Maddy (have you turned into Bob the builder ?) glad your feeling so positive and hope your having a good day. I also have an amazing incentive - I am going to be a grandma, my very first grandchild! I cant wait, its early yet so i'm a little anxious but cant think of a better reason to keep on going. Hope you had a great day.

Hey Maddie,

With a new baby soon to join the family, surely there's your motivation for taking the money from gambling and using it for spoiling!

Chin up and on we go once again, your positivity is good to see and one day at a time in dealing with it is the way forward.

Happy Easter

Ryan

Thanks Ryan and carmelly for your good wishes, I have been on a high since Sunday, but came back down to earth with a bump today! I often feel like that fairground game where heads pop up and get bashed with a mallett sending them back in. I owe both my daughters money and am 6 - 8 months off paying it back, it is hard this month as I havent had a salary, but did a car boot yesterday so that one of their payments could be met. I took it to her this morning and got the biggest ear bashing because I was honest and said that the car boot paid for it mainly. I thought I was being proactive and not letting her down, but I got told I let her down 2 years ago not once but twice and then it all comes tumbling out again, the hurt of my lying etc etc. has no respect for me ...nothing has changed, I dont think the same way as anyone else...................I end up in tears, she gets crosser and then we are back to stalemate again. I cannot see how we can move forward. She wouldnt consider counselling because she is of that age that she thinks she knows it all anyway. I cannot retaliate she is pregnant and i do not want to be held responsible for anything going wrong with that as I have enough on my conscience and would never forgive myself. what to do? Time isnt healing it thats for sure.

hi Maddy sorry your feeling down. I think that's the hardest the highs and lows of this process. Children can be very hard. My children don't know the extent of my addiction and I'm not telling them. I've decided this thing is on a need to know basis. Hopefully they'll never need to know. I think It's great that you did a car boot to help pay of your debts (how early do you have to get up to do one of those things!). Tomorrows another day and hopefully you'll fel better and know how much you have achieved. This is not easy. Be proud of yourself you're doing really well. Stay strong

Hi Maddie,

Sorry to read about the situation with your daughter, I think doing the car boot was a good idea. Maybe your daughter's hormones are a part of the problem if she is pregnant? I am sure she would not want to hurt you intentionally, maybe she doesn't want you selling your possessions to pay back the debt? Whatever the reasons you can be sure that it will all blow over, you are making great progress keep strong xx

Hello Maddie,

Good for you doing a car boot to raise some funds to pay towards your financial commitments. To me that is very positive Maddie. Be very proud!

Children can be difficult....I have 5 girls! Today arguing, tomorrow laughing. It's called love Maddie.

You are doing really well. Keep posting and be gentle on yourself.

Jas xx

thank you ladies for your help. It means so much x