the first day of the rest of my life

What a funny couple of days I have had, started my new job yesterday, it is odd so far and I am not feeling very comfortable yet. I hope it does work out because we have been to long without a 2nd income and that has not helped us financially irrespective of the gambling. Have made a real positive move today, although my gambling head is very resentful of it, but we closed our joint bank account, opened one in just my husbands name and I have given my work his bank details for my wages. I am a control freak and I feel a bit peeved to be honest, but I know deep down it is the right thing to do. It has made me think about gambling a bit more today but I have no REAL urges thankfully.

I hope you are all doing well I am reaching the 2 week mark so onwards and upwards. lol , Maddie

Hi Maddie.

Well done on your 2 weeks.

I too have closed my account and my wages go into my wifes.

To start with I know this might be hard for you,but it sure helped me closing my account.

I had a really strong urge the other day i'm glad i did'nt have that chance to access money and tempt faith!

Stay Strong

Gamble Free

Viggo.

Maddie well done on reaching 2 weeks. I have gone one week but will keep going. Keep going hun. Dee

Well done Maddy, Keep up the good work and thanks for your support. have today put lots of things in place to manage this thing and hopefully will catch up with all the people who are working so hard and doing so well. It's hard sometimes not to feel resentful but if these things work then it's all good.

Hi Maddie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling low but think how much worse you would feel if you had gambled. You are doing a great job, there will be highs just try to stay positive and remember you will always find compassion here x

thank you everyone, I think having got over brochitus has left me low. Feel slightly more cheerful this morning, going for my first counselling session tonight, wish me luck!!

Hi Maddie thanks for posting and for your words of support. glad your feeling a bit better. I am not dealing with this very well, so can you tell me how this councelling (can't spell it so dont know how I'll do it!!) works, Can anybody have it and is it done on line. Not sure how to go about getting it. I have never been in chat because I think I'd just freeze and not know what to say. But I know I need more help.Let me know how you go on. Carmelly

Had assessment last night and it was agreed that I need counseling, they are extremely busy at the moment so i will probably have to wait 2 weeks or so for an appointment. I need to fully commit to going and sort this head of mine out!! I am feeling very s h i t t y and so tearful and I really want to gamble, thank god I have no way of doing it at the moment. Blocks are really working. I think I am having very bad withdrawal symptoms, well i hope thats what it is!!

Sorry to be down everyone here has there own issues to deal with, so I feel a bit guilty writing negative things, but it has to come out somehow. Off for physio in a bit...more pain to look forward to hahah

Hi Maddy, thanks for all that info about councelling, really helpful. I will keep it in mind. Glad it went well for you and good news on the depression! (if you know what I mean) Hope you had a good day. Carmelly

Much better day today, feel quite calm and contented, perhaps the demon withdrawals are fading. I do hope so.

My job is not what I hoped but at least I have one and I will just keep looking for something better. Sun is shining, no gambling urges, had a positive email from my sister last night, which has had alot to do with my mood today. She disowned me as her sister when I stole from my mum, but last night she signed her email from your big sis, so I think that is a step in the right direction. All I need now is a text from my daughter and it will be an almost perfect day!! (apart from the fact we only have £20 to last us until 25th lol !!

what a lovely day I have had today with my grandson, we have has so much laughter in the house, and i feel normal and have so enjoyed my time with him. How much better are things with out the demon gambling preying on your mind. I havent had too many urges and seem to have gone through the withdrawal phase, at the counselling the other night I was given lots of food for thought and I seem to have already closed some issues that were driving me mad. GA used to call this the honeymoon period and warned about complacency.... and I am going to keep that in my head for the next few weeks. 3 weeks no gambling YAY!!

Hi Maddy this is not like any honeymoon ive ever been on! (actually didnt have a honeymoon so what do I know ?) anyway glad things are going so well for you and your still managing to avoid the gambling monster. All the best Carmelly

Hi Maddie

Its great to hear that you are spending time with your grandson ,and the house was full of laughter.Sometimes maddie we missed those things even though they were always there because we were so involved in our gambling.

Almost one month for you now.You are doing great.Well done Jeff.

thanks all for your posts, it means such a lot to have the support. It si amazing how much more you enjoy the simple things in life without a screwed up mind.

I am going to *** it this time I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP is etched in my brain... I CANNOT LOSE IF I DONT START !!! Hope you are all coping well xx