The Mountain

Haven't posted for a while...

Changed my forum name as a recent experience has changed my outlook and i'm now at a new stage in recovery.

I sold my 96 days gamble free at the beginning of feb for a £100 WillyHill cash bonus. Have been disgusted with myself ever since. Didn't lose any of my own money but the evil ones lured me back temporarily, closed my account now though and 19 days clean again. I was only able to gamble as I used my work computer which has no K9 software : (

nat

84 days G-free, coming close again to my personal best. Not taking anything for granted after my last slip up though.

This year has been good to me so far in that both my girlfriend and I have landed great new jobs and so at the moment it is easy for me ride the wave of positivity. I am still in 42k debt (credit card, large loan and money owed to family) but my annual wage has increased by nearly 40% with my new role and so I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I truly believe that if I keep my discipline and don't gamble again I can be back in the black in just over 3 years time. Let's see what happens...

nat

104 days gamble free, still going strong.

Just over 4 months clean now, my mind still wanders off to that dark place sometimes and I am getting urges weekly but having Gamblock in place is an immense help. Aiming for 6 months (clean) next, i'm still in around 40K Debt but i'm reducing that by about 600 a month and as long as i'm going in the right direction I will remain positive.

nat

Glad to hear you are so positive Nat, I havent read all of your diary but have read the start and where you are at now.

Life sounds good for you at the moment and you are being realistic about your debt, as we all know we will never recover the money we have lost that is gone but to get out of debt gives us such an overwheming feeling of achievement and satisfation it has to be a more powerful feeling than winning a huge amount that we know we will not keep. Gamblers never win. To have no debt and complete peace of mind is an astonishing accomplishment that I cant wait to achieve.

Keep focused and remain guarded at all times, this illness is ticking away at us all the time and is just waiting for us to give the nod to have another bash.

Best wishes for your continued recovery.

Hope x

Thanks for your kind and positive words Hopelass, I will have a good read of your diary when I get a chance x

185 days clean.

Outstanding debt 39,400, paying off roughly 800pm at the moment.

Doing well but could do better, reading plenty other diaries again at the moment to keep me strong.

Keep the faith everybody x

337 days gamble free.

I haven't stopped by the forum for a month or 2 due to a busy schedule and prior to that I'd only been lurking, catching up on few diaries and then moving on quickly.

I am still massively in debt, but thankfully not under pressure due to only having a low interest loan to pay, for just under 2.5 years (£358 monthly repayments) and the rest of the money is owed to mine and my girlfriend's parents. I feel like I have come a long away though and that massive year milestone is now in sight. I am not getting complacent though as I still believe I need to put more time between the events of late 2013 and the now before I can feel more safe. I want/need 2015 to be a big year for me, I got a new job at the beginning of last year and an improved salary which helped my self esteem greatly as well as assisting my repayment plan. More importantly though it acted as a distraction from gambling and all the damage I had done to myself. I am nearly a year in to that job now though and I feel as though I need new challenges/distractions (to keep me safe) as well as wanting to progress in life like a regular adult.

Thank you for reading.

nat

337...Great work 🙂

Hope you find whatever new challenges you do discover, to be fun & rewarding! Sounds to me like you are already progressing like a regular adult! Keep doing what you're doing - ODAAT