Day 6 - Had a tremendous night last night, laughed so much, drank a shed load and gambling was so far away from my thoughts. We all stayed completely away from the casino, which was great and a really good position to be in. Super happy with how things are going.
I plan on doing very little today, spending some chilled time with my partner. Life's little pleasures.
Hope everyone is doing well,
Drew
Day 7 - Still off from Xmas and New year, lucky as most people went back to work today. Just spending the day getting organised and paying some bills.
It's usually times like this I'll say to myself "Rather than paying X amount to say council tax, why don't I gamble that money, make double, then pay my bill so it's like I paid it for free as I still have the money "
It almost never ever worked out like that so I'm not tempted a little to do that today.
It never works out so why try again -
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results... Think I'll stay same today and for the rest of my life please.
Guard up comrades,
Drew
Day 8 - My Birthday in fact - Lots of brilliant gifts; The Libertines gig tickets, A new jacket, Trainers... Honestly much more than I deserve but my Fiancee is amazing, the best person in my life hands down.
Every step in my recovery is for us and our life together. There are times I look at her and think, how did I manage to get you - She knows I have an issue with gambling, knows the debt I have but she probably doesn't know how it's messed with my head all these years - Anyway she is the best part of my life and she has been far too good to me today.
We are toying with the idea of going to see Star Wars now, we've both got days off, I go back to work tomorrow, so today at the cinema could be a shout. It should be pretty quiet too (I hate a busy cinema, so today would be perfect).
As you can probably tell, gambling is so far from my thoughts today as my life is taking priority - I'm not bored, sad, lonely, or wanting an escape, so gambling thoughts are non existent - Long long LONG may it continue.
Al the best people,
Drew
Good on you drew! Such a positive way of looking at things!
your right spending time with your misses is much better than sitting there gambling, I really enjoyed reading your diary and I hope you keep up the good work and have a gamble free 2016.
good luck to you mate!
Day 9 and back to work....
Feel like its been the longest day day ever and still have hours left! Got to get back into a pattern of work though.
No thoughts of Gambling or such - Just focussing on a future without gambling,
Good luck Harryh123 - I hope you are still doing well and have your guard up - Ill check your diary in a bit -
All the best,
Drew
Great work the other night Drew & a very happy belated birthday 🙂
I hear you on those bizarre thoughts of not spending money til I'd won it all gambling...Odd as you say since in 3 decades, I can only remember coming out with money a handful of times, invariably long after the shops were closed & equally as sure as eggs was eggs, it also all went back in again before I ever stepped foot in a retail place! Not anymore! I want something, I earn it (& strangely enough now I'm not throwing every penny I can get my hand on away I can actually afford to)...Simplez!
As for work, it sure can suck sometimes but we have to try & take the positives out of stuff & in this climate, we are lucky to be employed so keep trudging through & hopefully it will become less tedious once you get back into the swing of things!
Even if that future without gambling feels a little uncertain & maybe even a bit scary @ the moment, I am living proof that this can change...Now my fear comes from going back not from never being able to gamble again! I am safe from any new pain gambling causes here in recovery & whilst I still live everyday with the shame of what I was, I'd rather struggle to forgive myself for that than live it again!
Keep looking forwards - ODAAT
Hi Drew
Just to let you know, I am just one day behind you - this is day number 9 for me today. It seems a little weird right now, me being back on here and counting days again! I managed to abstain for almost two and a half years before engaging in just a few bouts of gambling between April-Dec 15, all ending with the same result of course!
Take care and remain committed.
Feb.
Not updated in a wee while, due to a number of reasons - Firstly, i havn'thad a bet or gambled now for 18 days and still feeling so much better for it -
Ive just been so busy with life, its a good feeling, no thoughts about gambling at all. Things are good.
Was devasted on Monday with Bowies death, he was my musical icon - Truly loved that man and i am not ashamed to say i cried on and off all day on Monday.
I will still update on my diary when i have time and want to but for today i am really strong, have my bounderies up am determined to not place one bet in 2016 and for the rest of my time on planet blue,
Focussed,
Drew
Well done Drew and thanks for my post.
Take care.
Feb
Day 31 - End of the first month,
Still going strong and not really had any real urges - The only occaision that made me even think about gambling was in a pub - Really very drunk and went down to the toilet and thats where a fruit machine is - I dont even like fruit machines as a form of gambling - But the flashing lights looked so appealing - I know how stupid and pathetic that sounds, but in my drunkeness it looked appealing. Obviously after a second my human brain kicked in and not my chimp brain (Chimp Paradox book reference - Great read btw) and i thought no way. Thats the only negative to report in a month full of progress, happiness and contentness.
Feel very distant to gambling right now and will continue to update my diary when i need to, but time away from the internet, social media, the glaze of a screen is brilliant for me just now. Starting to resent this technological world we live in nowadays, kids obsessed with their phones rather than playing football, etc. Thats a completely different topic but, haha.
All the best everyone - My defense is still up - Never letting my guard down - My blockings are still all in place and i feel good,
Hope you are too,
Drew
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