This is it...true recovery.

Did my therapy/share for the first time since starting at GA back in August. It was kind of sprung on me so I was glad that I had kept recovery diaries on here over the past few years. Helped me to recount the pain this addiction has inflicted on me. In the same week I also took myself out of my comfort zone in a work setting giving a voluntary presentation at my wife's work advising them on an area I work in. Whilst gambling these things would have filled me with anxiety and dread. i would have made excuses to avoid anything like that. My confidence is slowly returning after 7 months gamble free again. GA and gamcare counselling has played a big role in that. I am really looking forward to Christmas this year...off for a few weeks gonna savour ever minute of it with family!

TM1985 wrote:

Thanks Bumblebee. I know what you mean - it is hard to imagine a life with no gambling but it's what I crave for! I don't think you can exclude from every online gambling site - god I wish you could. People have been campaigning for it but it would be a huge task I guess to monitor etc. I guess the closest thing is the blocking software. I really liked the gamcare chatrooms which are closed at moment but once they are up and running I hope to get back into habit of joining a few times a week - hopefully we can chat there too. All the best.

Reading an older post on my diary, one of the best bits of advice I'd give to newcomers is to register with www.gamstop.co.uk - UK's national online self-exclusion scheme. You can register for 5 years. I'd register for 50 years if they had that option.

Not only does it close down all your existing casino accounts, the best bit is that it will prevent you from opening new acounts. I used to spend hours trying to open new accounts that I hadn't self-excluded from in the past, and I usually managed to find one eventually. I know there will be some cynics who say it's not 100% there and doesn't block everything (it will eventually) but it's a great first step in the first few days of your recovery - a positive action which gives you a sense of hope.

Better still whilst your at it, your next stop should be to self exclude with bookies https://self-exclusion.co.uk/ Just a phonecall and a few emails and you have taken another positive action. If you put this off then you are doing it for a reason - keeping doors open so that you can gamble again at somepoint. These tasks will fill some time and take your mind away from the urges that will undoubtedly still be there.

Well it's now over a year since I came here once again with my tail between my legs after being 18 months off a bet. I am just over a year GF but can honestly say it has been a year of recovery not abstinence. I don't post much on here these days as I attend GA weekly and that is working well for me. Not that I don't have a wee look every now and again at the forums and get an update on others progress. I have alot of gratitude for Gamcare - without it I wouldn't have lifted the lid on my secret life and been able to start living an honest life again. 

So much good things have happened in the past year but ultimately by being open and honest I can actually enjoy life again and not be stuck in the past! Financially I have a gambling debt that will take some years to pay off but I have been able to increase my initial planned monthly payments. I don't focus so much on that it will take care of itself if I take care of my mental wellbeing. I actually find on a month to month basis I have alot more disposable income and by having wages etc paid into joint account my wife and I are able to discuss finances rather than me getting all uptight and hiding stuff from her.

Anyway, I'm in a good place and I wish any newcomers the very best - onwards and upwards.