Time to stop

Dear Damo

Sorry to hear about the delay in your counselling but it sounds like you're able to see the positives in getting a more suitable time for your appointments in future. It's brilliant that you are not letting this derail you and you're keeping your barriers high.

Take care

Forum Admin

Day 4

It has only been 4 days since I gambled but it already feels like an achievement.

When I was on a winning run I used to tell myself I had won enough for today but struggled to go 10 mins without picking up my phone to play and that includes times when I was at work recently.

Today will be a day spent with the family....the ones that deserve my time.

Have a good day everyone.

Damian

Well done...one day at a time ...enjoy your day with the family x

Coming to the end of day 4 and the guilt still hitting me constantly.

Really want to tell my partner but don't want to see the disappointment in her face.

Not sure the guilty feeling will go away until its done though. I have never lied to her about anything other then how bad the gambling has gotten and the money I've lost.

On a more positive note not even a thought about gambling.

Day 5

Still no thoughts of gambling but plenty of thoughts about how I got myself into this mess again.

Still finding it tough to stay positive but I guess that is improving day by day.

Go away for work again tonight and I guess this will be the real test when I'm sat on my own at night. All the blockers I've put in place should stop any chance of having a bet though.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Hello Damo.

As hard as it may seem but don't feel guilty of not being positive, your right at one thing though, the further you go away from your last punt, the positivity starts filtering through.

Going back to your previous post, your obviously wracked with guilt about the gambling but more so the guilt in not telling your Mrs. Hate to say, but I bet she probably knows! We tend to communicate with every part of ourselves, starting from the whites of our eyes and working down but she wouldn't be able to put a finger on your distant thoughts. Thinking back for me, my gambling was a mistress, that I swapped for my now ex.

Anyway, I wish you well

morning mate,

You are getting there slowly .. the next week while it will be hard you are at a point where you have the memories of the losses etc .. use those as a barrier .. don't try and let thoughts of winning cloud your better judgment .. you will never win and it would only ever get worse .. keep strong this week... you are at day 6 as i write this .. that is something you have managed no one else .. day 7 and 1 full week is just round the corner matey ! what a great acheivement that will be..

hope to hear you've made that landmark and are still going to keep pushing for more days 🙂

Kris

Day 6

Back away for work again today and really trying to get my head stuck into it. Still have the thoughts of how could I let it all get so bad again however I am trying to take the advice of others I’ve seen and trying to forget the losses and focus on the future.

Nearly at one week and that will be a accomplishment and then my aim will be double figures.

Volcano thanks for your words of advice and I’m sure my partner does have an idea as she has noticed how badly I have been sleeping and has been asking me if something is up....like you say I’m sure she can read me like a book.

Kris day 6 has been reached with the odd thought of trying to make a little bit of my losses back but I have soon got those thoughts out my head….plus the blockers I have in place would make that pretty difficult. Thanks again for your words of encouragement.

Hope everyone hasd a good day.

my morning richual browse on here , so i thought i'd pop over and say well done on the week ! hoping thats the case anyway 🙂 hows the feelings today matey?

Kris

Day 7 has come now and i actually woke up this morning and didnt think about the money I have lost....I made some payments towards the credit card debt from last week and I have signed up to learn a computer language at nights with the aim of filling my time while I am away from home.

Still havent manned up to tell my partner but I know that my recovery will not really begin fully till that is done. I just want some time to put somethings in place before I tell her. Its no excuse i know but my step son has ADHD and our son together is 2 (terrible twos) and they are really stressing her out at the moment and I just dont have the heart to cause her any more grief at the moment.

Last night I spent a bit of time reading through the f&f posts and its horrible to see the pain a CG puts their family through so this had made me more determined than ever to stop forever.

Next target double figures.....bring it on!!!

Yeah those thoughts will subside ! i would recommend http://www.stepchange.org/ to help with the debt side of things , I work for them and can say the advice you will get will be completely unbiased and they have an online Debt Remedy tool which will give you options without the need for talking to anyone J I started there though as I worked for them they passed me on to another company but using the original plan they suggested

Nice to hear about the coding, I started to learn powershell scripting a few years ago and it’s such an easy language to learn and has helped me get where I am now and where I will be in a months’ time as my new job has just been confirmed in writing..

I hope things start to move in the right direction which I’m sure with the willpower it will do

All the best

Kris....I have already spoken to step change but over the last week I have sat down and looked at my finances and I am going to try and tackle it head on and pay it off slowly without having to go down that route. Will probably mean paying masses of interest but i think i can probably get it done over a little time .

I got put forward for a promotion last week and should hear by middle of February so that would really help. Fingers crossed.

Day 8...

Inching closer to the double figures and I am really starting to feel a bit more normal as each day passes. My mum has gone on a skiing holiday but keeps sending messages to check that I am ok....I am hoping she can relax and enjoy her time away without having to worry about me. Knowing my mum that will be a struggle for her.

Last night I started looking around for a GA meeting that i could go to but there is none within 50 miles of where i work, I am away sunday night to thur night, and there are two near where i live. One is a Wednesday night and the other is a Sunday night which means i couldnt go to either. I am due to move client at the end of March so hopefully i will either get something near home or I will get a client that is in an area that has a GA meeting close.

No real thoughts of gambling and if any have come into my head I am quickly getting them out of there.

Have a good day everyone.

10 days is just round the corner matey 🙂

I hope you are able to sort something ref the meetings, i can imagine how your mum feels , i was under the same bombardment of texts to start with , she will calm down though i guess she will be worried a bit about your relationship and your wife not knowing .. which i hope at some point soon that changes and you can full attack this with everyone behind you and believe me it wil help with the guilt side .. you are going through this alone atm which can't be that easy ..

Though as me you have this area to let everything out without the need to really hold anything back which is a good help

Take care

Kris

Presumably you did tell your partner in the end? That will help with support.

CW