Time to stop

Oh and I've had internet problems for the last 2 weeks....they say things happen in three's so ibe had my three with boiler, car and Internet.

I've had enough now thanks 🙂

Hi, IT,

Can I ask: did you tell your OH? You mention your wedding, so I presume that she knows and it's still on?

CW

Hi CW....I wish I could tell you i had but as of now I am still keeping it from her with the aim of having everything in place for when i do tell her. I know i need her support to be able to fully work on stopping but I guess i am still too much of a coward to do it.

When it comes to the wedding it is not until July 2017 and only the deposit has been paid and the rest not till much nearer the time. I have no access to the money for it as the savings we have have been putting away as in an account in my future father in laws name. I transfer any spare money i have to my partner to put into this account....and although she doesnt know why it means i have no access to funds that i dont need. It will make more sense to her when i tell her. Deep down i know I cant marry her without her knowing the truth.....I just cant seem to get the words out :(. I am hoping it will come with time.

I spend alot of time reading this website and its funny cause i feel I am letting people down by not telling her.....just cant seem to do it.

Your business, and you have to tell for your own sake, not to please me or any other forum user. My experience is that never being told made a bad situation so much worse, he lived the lie for so many years. I find it very difficult to respect my husband now precisely because he never found the guts to tell me.

I hope you find the right moment, (such as it would be) sooner rather than later, you've got other measures in place, the gf days are adding up and it would be that last hurdle overcome.

Wish you well,

CW

Thanks for your comments CW....I really appreciate them and your honesty.

Hi damo...you are doing well fighting this on your own...like you I didn't want to tell my hubby....said i wanted to get my recovery underway...things in place etc...I don't know if I ever woul have ...my daughter knew and had agreed to give me some time before I told him....anyway...cut a long story short...he found out....yes it was a shock...him...my daughter and me sat talking untill 5 in the morning....he was wonderfull...ok so he didn't understand the addiction...had loads of questions....but he didn't explode and kill me like I feared....in actual fact it's the first time in our 30 plus year marraige that I've been 100% honest with him over finaces (not gambling related till last five years )....so when others say you have to tell I'm still not sure on that one...maybe some can do it...I just love our new honesty....and yes we have things to sort but with honesty at least out marraige is now based on that....I'm now in a much better place emotionally and have no urge to gamble....and I really feel that's down to the honesty between us....ok as a gambler I can never say never....but I can say it's wonderfull to be able to share my recovery with him and close f/f...I wish you well in whatever you decide...x

Hi Loxie...its not that i dont want to tell her, its the fear of disappointing her that is making it hard for me to do it. I have always hidden away from things and although I am standing up a bit more I guess this might take a little longer. I am sure it will come with time. You are doing great as well and thanks very for popping by and good luck as you go forward.

Morning damo...I understand exactly what your saying....I can remember posting on my diary that I would love to tell hubby...and for him to say...it's ok ...we can sort this...
I was adamant that he would go mad...blow a fuse...but the roof
And was dreading seeing him hurt..and disgusted with me....when he wasn't like that it was amazing....ok...so I still felt so guilty and all those other emotions....but for us...I truley feel it's like a new start...yes I'm only 60 odd days gamble free....but the change is fantastic...I don't think I would have got this far if he wasn't aware of the gambling....but who knows...I think we all have to beat this addiction in the way thats best for us...as long as blocks are in place....I don't think there is a right or wrong way of doing it
I love the counselling...I've learnt so much... not just about the gambling addiction....but about our marraige....i always hid from problems....then never told hubby...was trying to protect him from hurt....and how and why i
may have got so hooked on the
slots....any way...like I said...no rights or wrongs...your doing great xx

Day 50 and first big milestone has been reached.......life is getting better day by day and although still some issues to work through I am getting there. To anyone reading this stick in as it does get better. In just 50 days I have felt such a change in myself...i have given my family much more of my time and i am enjoying my time with them much more.

Have this one last hurdle to get over but im not gonna stress about it to much.

Loxxie wrote: Morning damo...I understand exactly what your saying....I can remember posting on my diary that I would love to tell hubby...and for him to say...it's ok ...we can sort this... I was adamant that he would go mad...blow a fuse...but the roof And was dreading seeing him hurt..and disgusted with me....when he wasn't like that it was amazing....ok...so I still felt so guilty and all those other emotions....but for us...I truley feel it's like a new start...yes I'm only 60 odd days gamble free....but the change is fantastic...I don't think I would have got this far if he wasn't aware of the gambling....but who knows...I think we all have to beat this addiction in the way thats best for us...as long as blocks are in place....I don't think there is a right or wrong way of doing it I love the counselling...I've learnt so much... not just about the gambling addiction....but about our marraige....i always hid from problems....then never told hubby...was trying to protect him from hurt....and how and why i may have got so hooked on the slots....any way...like I said...no rights or wrongs...your doing great xx

Hi again loxie....yes i love the counselling as well. I always come out of there feeling refereshed...I guess that may be because at the moment, other then with my mum, it is the only place were I am being 100% honest about everything. I am realising that some of the things I think about myself are not really true.....nobody is more down on me than I am on myself and im not sure when and how that happened. Anyway.....thanks for all your comments again and well done on all your gamble free days. Keep up the good work.

o*g....only just realised it's your 50 th today....woop woop....I will eat a cake for you xxxx

Loxxie wrote: o*g....only just realised it's your 50 th today....woop woop....I will eat a cake for you xxxx

🙂

Well done on fifty days you seem so much happier everyone around will pick up the vibes. On wards and upwards to the next fifty.

Well done on your 50 damo.

You sound like you are doing well

Thanks Mike.....definitely not been easy going but my head is in a good place just now. Long may it last.