Today, I will not gamble

Hi Stuart,

As most here I've been where you are and know how you feel. I stopped earlier this year but in the last 24 hours have fallen off the wagon and all those feelings you express I'm feeling again. I just want to let you know that you can stop, it is hard but it is also worth it and were all here for the same journey so I'm happy to travel alongside you and look forward to coming days and weeks when everything seems so much better because you are choosing not to gamble. All the best x

13/11/13. Day 3

First off I'm still gamble free which is a result in itself. Over the past 2 days I've kept myself very busy and haven't had time to get the urge to gamble which has been such a relief.

What has filled my mind is an immense guilt over the money I've wasted particularly the £700 last weekend. To think how I could have used that money so much more wisely genuinely haunts me - will this feeling ever go?

Secondly what i have also thought a lot about is how gambling has ruined sport for me. I love sport but when a football team who are favourites go 1-0 down for the past 3 years I would always consider whether there was an angle etc. I'd hate watching because inevitably I'd lose at some point - is there any way to enjoy it again? (The worst part is if the favourite came back and won say 2-1 and I hadn't bet I'd think oh I knew that would happen and I've missed an opportunity)

Finally hi samorgo how is your recovery going? As outlined above I am quite an impulse gambler, I could go a couple of days not gambling but then see a bet I fancied, lose and then as you say completely fall off the wagon chasing losses with ridiculous and very expensive bets, all to get back to the starting position! You are right I've definitely enjoyed the last couple of days a lot more without the potential dread of a lost bet. Keep in touch, and as you say we can help each other through this.

Cheers

Stu x

Hi Stuart, just wanted to wish u good luck but also say I can relate to some things you say, my partner has called me tight and when I look at it I can be, thinking twice about spending £20 on something in a shop or on him sometimes but wouldn't think twice to put £1000 in a slot machine its quite worrying why my mind would be like that....suppose you always have in your head you could double your money when gambling although the reality is your probably going to loose it all and more. I haven't gambled for 17 days now, I find it really helpful coming on here and knowing I'm not the only person trying to fight this horrible thing 🙂

Day 6. 17/11/13

Still gamble free. Been so focused on other things since I last posted which is obviously a huge relief, but woke up today with big urges but I'm not going to let them get the better of me. So I thought I would blog an hopefully that would make me feel better as well as read some of the other recovery diaries.

Hi jillfe great to hear how well you're doing are you finding it is getting easier day by day? Keep going strong x

Well done stu,great effort mate,admitting gambling is a problem is the first and most important step.

I've been trying to give up gambling for the past 13 years,put myself,family and friends thro all sorts of s**t in the process.lost my house,gone bankrupt,but in recent years have turned my life around,somehow managed to get a mortgage,I have a wonderfull partner and 2 girls,still have a bit of debt and I haven't quite been able to abstain from gambling,I'm on day 35 in my latest effort.

I've a different outlook this time,I've come to the conclusion that after every big win I had, a big loss followed trying to chase that initial win,so what's the point?? winning is worse than losing.its a lose lose scenario.

I pick out the odd fantasy bets,but where as before it P***** me off if I picked a winner,I'm not bothered now,cos I know where that win would take me. We can't win cos we can't stop.

Try not to tempt yourself,I avoid buying papers which helps.

All the best Robby

Day 6. 17/11/13

Still gamble free. Been so focused on other things since I last posted which is obviously a huge relief, but woke up today with big urges but I'm not going to let them get the better of me. So I thought I would blog an hopefully that would make me feel better as well as read some of the other recovery diaries.

Hi jillfe great to hear how well you're doing are you finding it is getting easier day by day? Keep going strong x

Hi robby

Yeah you've hit the nail on the head, a win is worse than a loss cos it drags you back in. I was thinking this morning I could just win today and then I'd stop. But first off I might not win and second off if I do I'd initially just put the winnings on another bet to then be even if I lost the second bet, but if I did lose that bet then I'd feel a bit empty and need the thrill of a win to keep me happy. Pathetic really.

So far I have not gambled today and I will not because as u say i cannot walk away. 35 days is amazing mate and uve got so many more important things in your life than gambling.

The immense loss of money is difficult to accept but it is also the loss of time that upsets me, I have avoided meeting friends, gf, family etc to spend time lining up/suffering during and after a bet

Cheers

Stu

Day 7. 18/11/13

Really tough day yesterday I even ended up logged in on a betting site but logged out and did not gamble. This was a big hurdle to overcome. I didn't want the hard work of the last 6 days to be wiped out and for me to have to be at day 1 again.

No urge whatsoever this morning so hopefully that can continue!

Stu

Hi Stuart

Just a quick word of encouragement for you. Well done on the work you have done so far in trying to beat the addiction.

I recegonognise so much of myself in what you wrote, as do many many users on here who used to indulge in sports betting.

Id like to thank you for putting in words what your thoughts are, as i take inspiration from them, and use them positively to help fight my own problem.

Hi Stuart,

God I can't believe you logged in on a betting site and didn't gamble, that is a massive achievement, well done.

I'm not really finding it is getting any easier day by day only for the fact that if I was to gamble it would be a waste of all the effort I have put in to get to 3 weeks. All of the other times I have tried to stop gambling over I'd say the last 4 years I have always still had access. This time I have installed the free K9 blocker on my laptop so I can't get onto any sites and I have banned myself from the local cainso for 2 years. Ok yes if I wanted I could find another way to gamble, in a bookmakers etc so the access is still there but I have never been in a bookmakers before so I don't intend to now. I have found it so much easier this time putting the blockers in place, I could kick myself for not doing this years ago, maybe I wouldn't be in this situation now and would have saved alot of money instead of just going round n round in circles.

You are doing really well, keep strong 🙂

Well done stu on 8 days,great work!

I've had a little wobble the last 2 days,but feel good now.

My wobble hasn't been helped as I saw a betting company I've never heard of advertising on the net,I've got 5 year or life exclusions with every bookie in the uk and europe. I'm considering joining this compant just to self exclude. - having these blocks in place really do help,I'm a compulsive and impulsive gambler.

Get those blocks in place stu. Keep goin mate.

Day 9. 20/11/13

Jillfe and Robby thank you both for the support, it really does give me a lift receiving the encouragement. And I completely agree, I now have my deposit limits set to £1 per week at every bookmakers you can think of. But as you say where there's a will there's a way, so it is always going to take real self determination not to go back.

End of day 9 and just not even thought about gambling all day. Didn't think a day like this would have been possible a couple of weeks ago. There is so much more to life than gambling!!

I walk past a bookies on the way to work and I've always really gambled on the Internet but I saw people in there just hooked on the machines and glued to the TVs. It is not the way to live! It has just taken me 4 years and thousands of pounds to realise it.

Over the past 9 days I've realised how lonely gambling is and I never want to go back to it. Whenever I get an urge I need to remember this feeling. At the moment it all seems very simple but I've been back too many times to be so naive and let my guard down. This is really it this time. A cliche but I want to be able to look back to this blog in 6 months time then a year and think I was strong enough to beat it. For now though day 10 is all I have to get through.

Stu

Well done 10 days stu,double figures, - the days do soon rack up,its great to continue to put this nightmare addiction behind us.

I watched miost of the cricket this morn, -unintentionaly,my little 2 year old woke me up at 12.30,she took my place in the bed!

Anyway I got up,and I gota say I enjoyed it.

I did flick up the odds on my phone(old habits die hard). But it was just for interest.

The bets I would be doin would of been under or over runs,odds of 5/6 hardly life changing!!

You gota get more right than wrong,were they worth it??

I gota say I was not tempted at all,I was more than happy to watch england do the biz!

Just a thought,why don't you self exclude from all the sites and bookies u use?? Takes the temptation away.

Keep strong stu.

How are things goin stu?

I'm muddling through gettin gradually stronger every day,I managed to avoid even watching the rest of the cricket-

A definite gambling disastfer avoided there.

Hope your still goin strong mate,never give up on giving up,you will only ever be a poorer person in every way whilst gambling.