Today is the day

Hi T93 and welcome to the forum :))

Guess what ?.................... I made it all the way to the end ( Go me ) :))

Seriously ........... Your Fobt addiction and then moving onto casino's mirrored my story completely ! ............ I came here a couple of years ago after thoughts of ending it all after some really bad losses and my gambling was completely out of control but the good news is that I haven't placed a bet since , so it can be done :)).

I know in your post you said that you'd deleted all online accounts but when the urge to gamble strikes sometimes it's not enough and we'll go and seek new pastures so have you thought about downloading blocking software ? Gamblock or netnanny are two that spring to mind , you have to purchase them but they'll keep you a lot safer for anything online related , there's also a national exclusion service( NICE ) that can be used for excluding from casinos and also a national one for high street bookies if you don't want to do it the old fashioned way with a photo and just walk in ? .

The only real advice I can give is from my experience you have to let gambling win and walk away , accept that any money youv'e lost has gone for good and that for once your not going to go back and chase it , your young enough to quit now and make a huge difference to your life that lay's before you , seize that opportunity with both hand's and dont look back as it's an ongoing downward spiral the other way .

Wishing you well for now , keep posting and charting your progress and I'll catch up with you soon :))

Hi mate,

You're right, classic blueprint. And it's so similar to my story too. I'm gonna jump straight to the last bit you wrote... I would say right and foremost try and throw yourself into this website as much as possible. Don't ask me how or why but if I check this website every morning (as in just read - not reply) - it makes my day so much easier to cope with. Then in the evening I will reply or join the chatroom.

In terms of other ways of escaping, I think it's important to have the necessary blocks in place to give you a bit of peace of mind. Have you considered blocking software? There are a few good free ones made just for gambling. Once you've managed this you can sleep easy knowing you can't physically access online gambling - so you can just sit and watch Netflix if you want - or you can go play golf.

And yeah, you already do it but exercise is a huge part of it for myself. Life has got a lot better since I've thrown myself into exercise.

Keep us updated with how you get on.

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi T93 and welcome to the forum :))

Guess what ?.................... I made it all the way to the end ( Go me ) :))

Seriously ........... Your Fobt addiction and then moving onto casino's mirrored my story completely ! ............ I came here a couple of years ago after thoughts of ending it all after some really bad losses and my gambling was completely out of control but the good news is that I haven't placed a bet since , so it can be done :)).

I know in your post you said that you'd deleted all online accounts but when the urge to gamble strikes sometimes it's not enough and we'll go and seek new pastures so have you thought about downloading blocking software ? Gamblock or netnanny are two that spring to mind , you have to purchase them but they'll keep you a lot safer for anything online related , there's also a national exclusion service( NICE ) that can be used for excluding from casinos and also a national one for high street bookies if you don't want to do it the old fashioned way with a photo and just walk in ? .

The only real advice I can give is from my experience you have to let gambling win and walk away , accept that any money youv'e lost has gone for good and that for once your not going to go back and chase it , your young enough to quit now and make a huge difference to your life that lay's before you , seize that opportunity with both hand's and dont look back as it's an ongoing downward spiral the other way .

Wishing you well for now , keep posting and charting your progress and I'll catch up with you soon :))

Hi Alan, appreciate the response mate. Congrats on not placing a bet in a number of years, it sounds like you really pulled it together and are better off for it.

I thought about what you said and thought I did not need to use blocking software as it was not needed once i deleted accounts. Then i remembered that complacency is what got me this far into the addiction, so I have took your advise on broed and just downloaded gamblock. It feels strange, you know saying your going to stop but in the back of your head knowing you can still do it if you want. Where as now I physically cant get on these websites anymore so it almost gives you one less thing to worry/think about as it just is not possible to use them.

Your right about letting gambling win, its hard when you know youve sinked about £15,000 away but I never got close to getting it back so it isnt going to change if i continue, the level of loss will only get higher.

Thanks for the well wishes, today is day 2 and I will not gamble today.

adam808 wrote:

Hi mate,

You're right, classic blueprint. And it's so similar to my story too. I'm gonna jump straight to the last bit you wrote... I would say right and foremost try and throw yourself into this website as much as possible. Don't ask me how or why but if I check this website every morning (as in just read - not reply) - it makes my day so much easier to cope with. Then in the evening I will reply or join the chatroom.

In terms of other ways of escaping, I think it's important to have the necessary blocks in place to give you a bit of peace of mind. Have you considered blocking software? There are a few good free ones made just for gambling. Once you've managed this you can sleep easy knowing you can't physically access online gambling - so you can just sit and watch Netflix if you want - or you can go play golf.

And yeah, you already do it but exercise is a huge part of it for myself. Life has got a lot better since I've thrown myself into exercise.

Keep us updated with how you get on.

Hi adam, thanks for the response mate.

Yeh, I feel that already in fact I was thinking about gambling first thing when I woke up today and so I came straight on to this forum to have a read and see if anyone had replied to my thread. I feel like their is a degree of acountability there when people put in time to respond to you and help you. Its a strange feeling but whatever I type I feel like I am held accountable too, otherwise I am wasting everyones time. Almost like I do not want to let anybody down, even though I have never personally met anybody. It lets me know theyre is other people out there like me who have been through the struggle and relate to me on so many levels, and I do not want to insult everyone by throwing the help in their face and going out to gamble.

I have downloaded gamblock thanks to the replies I recieved on this post so that is no longer an issue. it feels strange that I can not just lose £100 in 4 minutes on my computer anymore.

Today is day 2 and I will not gamble.

Hi again Bud :)) .

Thank you for the kind words earlier and I'm glad you found them helpfull :)).

I think it's quite strange when you first turn up here in that you almost feel your the only one that has a particular problem with Gambling , then all of a sudden realise there's many more just like you and I almost found that to be a relief to find myself amongst like minded folk who knew exactly the way I was feeling , even on visits to a casino or bookies I felt I was the only one caught up in that cycle of destruction with no way out ? .

I'm glad you put the blocking software on as it will help when those urges strike and they will strike at times trust me , usually I found when you have a bad day or an unexpected bill drop's through the door and the gambling mind starts thinking ....."Well maybe just one bet won't hurt just to win enough to cover what I need , then I'll stop again " ? , The times I've done that in order to justfy having another bet I honestly couldn't count so the answer is not to have that first bet then the second won't follow :)).

When you replied about about " Winning for your family " well that's us just trying to justify not changing anything really , if we believe we have everyone elses good intentions at heart then how can that be a bad thing eh? , I've had so many big wins in my life and if I sat down and actually wrote a list of things I'd bought with the money I could probably put down one item as the rest was just used to keep me in action in the bookies . The money actually means nothing to us other than " Gambling tokens" , there's a saying on here " We cannot win because we cannot stop " and if your like me how much is ever going to be enough ?. This addiction in my way of thinking is no different from say an addiction to cigarettes , it's about breaking the habit of gambling and dealing with the withdrawl symptoms which you will have to fight at times and find things to replace the time you'd have spent gambling , I think the reason that most of us gamble is to run away from something we don't really want to deal with , it may be different for you but sometimes I just didnt' want to face what life was offering , a bit of escapism if you like ? but now instead of running I just face it head on so theres no issue anymore :)).

It may help you more once you get your career of the ground although job hunting in itself can be quite a taxing time , my son's in the same position having just graduated in June and he's finding it a little tough also :((.

Anyway enough of a ramble for now but as a good friend of mine on here once said " It's better to ramble than Gamble " :)) .

Have a good one Buddy and if you need to ask anything just post :))

Best wishes

Alan

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi again Bud :)) .

Thank you for the kind words earlier and I'm glad you found them helpfull :)).

I think it's quite strange when you first turn up here in that you almost feel your the only one that has a particular problem with Gambling , then all of a sudden realise there's many more just like you and I almost found that to be a relief to find myself amongst like minded folk who knew exactly the way I was feeling , even on visits to a casino or bookies I felt I was the only one caught up in that cycle of destruction with no way out ? .

I'm glad you put the blocking software on as it will help when those urges strike and they will strike at times trust me , usually I found when you have a bad day or an unexpected bill drop's through the door and the gambling mind starts thinking ....."Well maybe just one bet won't hurt just to win enough to cover what I need , then I'll stop again " ? , The times I've done that in order to justfy having another bet I honestly couldn't count so the answer is not to have that first bet then the second won't follow :)).

When you replied about about " Winning for your family " well that's us just trying to justify not changing anything really , if we believe we have everyone elses good intentions at heart then how can that be a bad thing eh? , I've had so many big wins in my life and if I sat down and actually wrote a list of things I'd bought with the money I could probably put down one item as the rest was just used to keep me in action in the bookies . The money actually means nothing to us other than " Gambling tokens" , there's a saying on here " We cannot win because we cannot stop " and if your like me how much is ever going to be enough ?. This addiction in my way of thinking is no different from say an addiction to cigarettes , it's about breaking the habit of gambling and dealing with the withdrawl symptoms which you will have to fight at times and find things to replace the time you'd have spent gambling , I think the reason that most of us gamble is to run away from something we don't really want to deal with , it may be different for you but sometimes I just didnt' want to face what life was offering , a bit of escapism if you like ? but now instead of running I just face it head on so theres no issue anymore :)).

It may help you more once you get your career of the ground although job hunting in itself can be quite a taxing time , my son's in the same position having just graduated in June and he's finding it a little tough also :((.

Anyway enough of a ramble for now but as a good friend of mine on here once said " It's better to ramble than Gamble " :)) .

Have a good one Buddy and if you need to ask anything just post :))

Best wishes

Alan

Hi Alan,

Yeh mate, I fully relate to that. Like you say, I would go in there and often wonder 'I wonder if those people are as degenerate as me', 'I wonder if they are enjoying themselves', 'I wonder if they feel as much pain as I do when I walk out that door broke'. Thats the problem, no one likes to talk about it in open society. Its just so looked down upon and viewed as so embaressing that its actually more acceptable to be an alcoholic or drug addict. Almost as if our addiction is a joke and that it is all our own fault so we feel we would be laughed at for discussing it. I actually think it would be great to talk to fellow FOBT players, imagine what we could make eachother realise and the understanding we have of one another through our mutual addiction. Instead its just the classic pretend smile and the 'winning today mate' or 'any lucky today pal' whilst we both go our seperate ways on the machines and proceed to lose everything we have in our pockets.

Yeh I have never won anything major but I have definetly won some decent somes over the years that I could have put too far better use and your right.... I actually thought about what you said, and I aswell as you have bought nothing with my winnings. Literally nothing, I would just use it much like you say, as tokens to win more and more money. But it would never be enough. I could win 50,000 and still want to 'double it up' and reach 100,000.

Regarding facing what life has to offer this is also true. Especially as of late. I am sure your son can relate to what I am about to say more than most on this forum can and its a bit of a rant but I almost feel like the education system has let me down. The frustration is there and after completing a degree and a masters and achieving top grades in both I can barely get through to interview stages of graduate schemes. Although I recently had an interview and got to the end and narrowly missed out on the job after around 5 weeks of prior stages. So the frustration was immense and it is very hard to keep getting back up again after being knocked down. Especially when you believe you are the mould that society has told you that you have to be in order to succeed. I will push on though, and like your son, with determination I will find a job I am happy with. If i put as much time into the job hunt as I do gambling im confident I will find something. I just have to remember not to allow failure to trigger me back to gambling because that will only make things worse.

Stay positive for your son and make him see that you understand its tough. Trust me, it can be depressing when everyone around you thinks its so easy to get a job because you have a degree and the only reason you dont have one is because your lazy. It is simply not the case.

Thanks for the continued support Alan.

Today is Day 3 and I will not gamble. My life is more important to me than wasting all my time and money on a computerised wheel.

Day 3 - This is my second entry for today because I am currently struggling. It almost seems insane to believe that you can feel this way just by not gambling for 3 days. It is not until you stop that you realise 3 days feels like a long time to not gamble for as a compulsive gambler. I really was betting everyday with whatever I could get my hands on, its crazyness.

I currently have a little bit of money in the bank, dont need anything and I am trying to restrain the degenrate inside of me from finding a way to gamble. People talk about trigger but for me every day is a trigger whilst I am not doing anything. The minute I find myself 'bored' and with spare time it feels like a good time to 'try my luck'. I normally go to the gym on a night time but today I think I will go earlier until this urge surpasses. I knew this would be difficult but I am willing to take on the challenge.

The biggest win I will have today is making it to day 4 gamble free. You can do this.

It's just gambling whispering in your ear mate ! .

Like myself youve done this for so many years day in / day out and you can't just erase this from your memory , gambling's not going to let you go without a fight now is it ? Go and have a walk with enough money to sit and have a coffee or take a shower or a soak in the bath and listen to some music anything that breaks that urge for today ? . Tommorow's another day and sometimes all we can do is fight those initial urges a minute , an hour at a time if need be until they pass .

What's the alternative , more months of misery with no money to show ? Nobody said is was easy but then again nothing worth having ever is !

You can do this you just have to want to :))

Stay safe my friend !!

Cheers Alan, I just went to the gym early and went into the swimming pool after my workout to waste some extra time.

Today is day 4 I feel a bit better than yesterday, it feels pretty nice waking up each morning without the gambling hangover - in other words, knowing you have lost hundreds of £'s the night before. Obviously there has been no thrill or rapid change in my situation but I am feeling a little bit more stable. Gambling really does take you on a hell of a rollercoaster, my body just cannot cope with the ups and downs anymore.

Just for today I will not gamble.

Day 5 - Today has been ok. The thoughts are still there obviously but I realised i did not think about it nearly as much today. Will get some money in for some part time work tommorow so will be a true test. Even though I have a bit of money in the bank at the minute , getting some more in might feel like i have 'too much' and that i dont need it all to live off. hopefully I can resist the urge.

Going to get some sleep now and will look forward to waking up not having lost £200 the night before.

Welcome to the forum.

One of the members here speaks about a triangle of time, money and location. If you remove one of the three then you will not make that next bet. If you find yourself in a position where you have all 3 then we need to be very careful. It sounds like the part time work is paid cash... if so is there someone else around you could give it to, your girlfriend perhaps? Or tell her today you will treat her tomorrow and use the cash for that (assuming there's nothing urgent/outstanding you need the cash for)? You mention having enough money to live off of - do you have any debt that the money you get tomorrow could go towards?

Having a decent sleep is something that I definitely missed and I look forward to getting back to that time again.

Stay safe and GF.

ste_ven wrote:

Welcome to the forum.

One of the members here speaks about a triangle of time, money and location. If you remove one of the three then you will not make that next bet. If you find yourself in a position where you have all 3 then we need to be very careful. It sounds like the part time work is paid cash... if so is there someone else around you could give it to, your girlfriend perhaps? Or tell her today you will treat her tomorrow and use the cash for that (assuming there's nothing urgent/outstanding you need the cash for)? You mention having enough money to live off of - do you have any debt that the money you get tomorrow could go towards?

Having a decent sleep is something that I definitely missed and I look forward to getting back to that time again.

Stay safe and GF.

Hi Ste, appreciate the comment mate.

I like the idea of the triangle, its very much true.

I do not need the money urgently although I could reduce my overdraft by £100 or something. I have not done this so far because I am still in that state of mine where i think i'll need more than I actually do to live off. You know the 'just incase' mindset. When in reality the just in case is us trying to hold onto some money because we need a gamble.

Yeh my sleep is getting better and better. Things still feel pretty dull but im learning to cope I think.

I had a really tough day today. Went into the city with some friends today and they ended up going to a bookies to place football bets and go on the FOBT's. I prevailed but did not like the test so early on. Hard to stop living my life though, we just went up for food and I cannot force my problems on others by suggesting that we dont go to certain places etc. It is my problem no one elses. I made an excuse and went to a local shop pretending I was looking for a new pair of trainers. It made it worse that my friend won £150 on the FOBT too so it really instigated a bit of an urge.

Anyway day 6 complete. It is nothing on other peoples journeys and diarys and I have a long way to go but I am happy to have done this well so far. It sounds pathetic to most but this must be the longest I havent gambled since I pretty much started.

Another step forward to a better life.

Day 7 - Feeling good that I have nearly made it a week without a gamble. Although the urges are still there, I feel extremely bored at the minute,almost like I need some excitement. I might just go out for a walk and leave my wallet at home! Hopefully I get through another day

Congratulations on the first week buddy :)) .

The urges will be there for some time to come but they will fade until you can dismiss them out of hand , just focus on the one day at a time approach for now if you need to , keep yourself busy and remember how you felt when you turned up here a week ago , that in itself should do the trick as nothing will change if we don't make changes :)) .

Your doing great , keep pushing on and I'll talk to you soon :))

Best wishes

Alan