Tomorrow I am 3 weeks gamble free and I am just taking it one day at a time! I am proud of what I have achieved. My partner transferred me some money to my account 2 weeks ago as genuinely feel sorry for me as have no money left. No I did not gamble this but bought ordered a nice takeaway meal for us instead. I have now added gambling block to my account just to be on the safe side as payday is tomorrow. My partner does not want me to transfer the money to him because he feels sorry for me so the real test is on! I genuinely don’t want to be in the position again having suffered a month with no money in my account. From tomorrow- I will be enjoying life. The thoughts of having to gamble are slowly going away and I genuinely have some clarity of how idiotic my actions all have been. What remains is some deep self loathing. Sometimes feelings of anger towards myself of what I have done are really bad- and I still cannot believe why I did not have this clarity sooner. Why did I allow myself to fall to this trap? The debt truly hurts- I am having to pay £400 each month towards my gambling debts. I have 8 more years to go but proud I have completed a full year of my payment plan so the debt is now down from £49500 to £4400! Still a lot of money, can you believe this is what I’ve spent gambling in just 2 years? I look back and think why did I even do this? There was just no explanation at all. I was very deep into my addiction that I could not accept reality. After a £6700 relapse 3 weeks ago- I promised myself this would be the last. I would have been a better position now had I not relapsed! I feel like another year has just been wasted. I have tried to live very frugally to somehow save some money for a rainy day- working some overtime but this relapsed has really just brought me back to where I started last year. The relapse hurts more as it recently happened but I am ready to fight this terrible addiction and learn to live with the pain that gambling has caused me. It has taken everything from me and I have truly lost the old me- my old self but not anymore. I am fighting this everyday. But it’s only money- I can earn this again and slowly pay my debts- but the regret is always there. 3 weeks without gambling life has been really good. Why would I ever want to go back to gambling ever again? My goal is to get to the next month gamble free and hopefully I will be here in a years time and ultimately by the end of this long tunnel I dug out for myself once my debts are all paid- I will be able to come here and say I have done it! My debts are all paid and I have remained gambling free. We can do this!!
Payday today and bought all the Christmas presents for all the family! I only wish I had seen the light sooner…. It’s such an amazing feeling having to now spend the money on what truly matters!
@roulettegotme congratulations on this, qell done. Keep going!. I'm 7 days today on the latest and hopefully last attempt to kick gambling. Need to keep going.
That is a great achievement. I don't think people know just how damaging to your mental health gambling can be. I feel really angry that there is not more done to prevent people gambling - at least they could ban the adverts for slots sites between every break in programming. Some gambling places even sponsor things like coronation street, Emmerdale and the like - it's nuts. You will be fine by the sounds of things - well done!!!
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