Toughest unwanted battle imaginable

Great to hear that despite feeling low you are still seeing family. Well done. X

Wilsey over 100 days ! That is massive . Appreciate their seems to be a lot of c**P going on in your life which I don’t profess to have an opinion on - that’s your business. But all I can say is imagine going through that and still be gambling ! How much worse would your head be . Your doing so well . Keep that side of your life clear . Good luck with the rest it will help not gambling . All the best

Day 109 Thanks everyone Went to bed really early and slept right through, my anxiety is lower and I know now I can move forward now I have closure. Didn't want to live my life with hatred towards people but I suppose in some cases it's best to hold onto that it will remind me not to ever get in the same position again. Karma has found them let them deal with the consequences of their actions.

Hi wilsy,
I've not had chance to read many diaries on here lately but I thought I'd drop by yours to say the few I have read have had your kind words and support dotted about on them which have helped many people when they have been at their lowest. We all know how that feels so I just wanted to say that I'm sure your thoughtful words and time spent on here is helping many.
I just looked at your last few posts.
Relationship breakdowns can be excruciatingly painful, all I can say is be kind to yourself. Sometimes we have to stand back and say to ourselves that enough is enough, I'm tired of hurting. I am me, I am trying to be the best I can be, I mean no harm to anyone so I'm going to live my life the way I want to. If people want to join me on the way then that's fine, if I'm not to your cup of tea then that's also fine - it was nice meeting you!
Because of the nature of people we can't possibly get on with everyone and gambling takes a lot of our senses away from us. Stopping gambling enables us to build up our tolerances and understanding of others enabling us to stay strong and true to ourselves.
I hope you don't mind my waffling and what may seem to be intrusion but you sound like a good, caring person. Your gamble free days are growing every day which usually helps to see the return of your strength and self confidence.
Believe in yourself, stand up and be counted - because you're worth it!! X

Thank you little miss lost your post rings so true and has really perked me up. For 9 months I have been carrying so much grief that I had to get closure. I have stepped back because I am worth more and they are not the people I want in my life they are untrustworthy and hurt everyone. Today letting it all go it's been long overdue and I won't hold back tomorrow is the rest of my life. No urges to gamble paid my rent money to mum today and left myself with 27 quid for ten days, being sensible.

Hello Wilsy,

You are welcome to call us for emotional support or details of therapeutic services, if you would like some additional support through this time.

We appreciate that forum members use their diaries to express their thoughts and feelings. As it is a public forum intended for the purpose of sharing online peer support for recovery of problem gambling, we have forum rules and etiquette to help forum members use the forum effectively. Our forum rules guide forum members to be sensitive to how their posts may be perceived, and to avoid posting comments that may be perceived as insulting or malicious. At times we remind forum members of these boundaries to help them make the most constructive use of the forum for their recovery.

Take care,

Forum admin.

109 days gambling free is very good. Keep up the hard work. I have had trouble with my ex the mother to my daughter it’s not nice when they give you a lot of grief when you have enough going on trying to keep the gambling in check. Good luck though mate you help a lot of people on here with your comments that you should be proud of

Thanks so much forum administration support just needed to let go of what has been drowning me the last 9 months and boro thanks for your kind words will put them out of my mind not worth the anguish.

Keep up the good work Wilsy ! Gambling is a big NO NO 🙂 thanks for your support

Sars

Thanks sars no I won't give up what I've achieved they would like that

Day 110 onwards and upwards emotionally shattered but it's done

Wilsy
Fella I just had a catch up with your diary, well done on getting past an emotional period without running into the arms of addiction, that is something to be very proud of, for me it means you are growing in the will to look after yourself.
Don't give way to hating my friend, don't let what you cannot change effect you and your life.
Accepting that is a huge part of us creating change.
I hope this week is one full of positivity and you embrace it with all you have.
Why
Because you are worth it.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Duncan the perfect person to come forward and to help me in my darkest hour. Really appreciate what you say about being proud of myself and for not turning back to this addiction. This gamble free run is all I have to cling onto at the moment, if I blow this I hate to think what will happen to me, that is the reason why I am staying strong.

I never have hated anyone but that is exactly how I feel right now and it doesn't feel nice. Hopefully it will subside over the coming days and I can just find peace and move on putting the last few years behind me.

I have accepted the situation now and I have accepted that they are no good, it still hurts, feel like such a mug and I have let my anxiety and big heart to make a fool of myself. I was warned by 100% of people, that tells me something, a leopard never changes it's spots and I'm done with caring and trying to help or stand by them as it is always thrown back into my face.

Positivity will return, I got up, I came into work, it's 9 days until payday, I have a weekend away in two weeks, I have my lovely family and many good friends. I will love again and find someone who is trustworthy and supportive, I deserve better.

I will abstain and maintain Duncan, I'll never give the bookies a penny ever again even though personally I am a broken man.

Thank you.

Well done on 110 days particularly as its been a very difficult period emotionally.

There is a quote from wrongly imprisoned boxes Rubin Carter (aka The Hurricane)

"Hatred and bitterness and anger only consume the vessel that contains them. It doesn't hurt another soul".

You have been very generous with your support for lots of people on here and never struck me as one of lifes haters.

It will pass.

Look after yourself.

Thanks KST, no I am not one of lifes haters, I think they are just words, I don't really mean them just trying somehow to stop thinking of them and caring about them, I haven't tried the hate route before and it doesn't suit me so I'll let these feelings pass and move on but I can't forget, I'll remember and it will help me to remain stronger in future.

Really appreciate your support KST need it right now 🙁