Toughest unwanted battle imaginable

DAY 84

still ill, sitting at my desk with pain in my temples, like I have had my head kicked in. Contemplating anytime now in just getting out of my seat and saying 'f**k it I'm going home I'm not well' to my boss and taking the hit as I don't get sick pay.

One of my Guinea Pigs (don't laugh) is going for a major operation tomorrow, so am preparing her for that, very traumatic for her and worrying for me.

Fed up with this weather.

84 days GF that’s an achievement my friend . Thanks for always visiting my page and supporting . Forget about this horrible weather at least we’re not gambling 😉 . Keep up the good work .

Keep going you are smashing it

Hang in there buddy your be okay.
Hope your Guinea pig is okay tomorrow. All the best buddy

Your doing well mate. I know its not easy but you don't wanna make it worse by adding gambling to your woes. You'll come out of this stronger if you plough right on through it.

Hope you feel better soon. Take care.

Wilsy
Fella thanks for popping by my diary, good to see you building up those gamble free days, life is tough at times but without doubt for me its better beyond belief without active gambling clouding the waters.
Fella I would like you to take a look at an article from the observer a few Sundays ago if you can find it,written by a guy who has like you and I suffered from depression for the greater part of his life, it's a really enlightening article which explores why we are prescribed anti depressants and why they don't always work and how the choices we make as individuals effect our mental wellbeing.
I took a great deal from it.
I take a fairly high dose of citalopram every day and have been advised to take them for life.
At present they do help me to find clear positive thinking and I find they don't fog my mind like other anti depressants I have taken.
The key for me has been to create change were possible, to ensure that I look after myself because without doing so I know addiction will come calling.
Football,films,reading,walking and spending time with my beloved hounds take priority.
We can survive on next to nothing fella, I reckon you like me could write a book on living on a shoe string budget.
That won't be the case for ever, start to plan for that day, find focus.
Equally if you are sick, take time off, no sick pay is a temporary problem, long term health is surely more important.
Lastly I hope your Guinea pig has a successful operation my friend, no shame in caring for any animal, in fact be proud you are able to do so.
Keep up the good work
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Wilsy,

Echo Duncs here, he talks about really important stuff. Please take help offered, there is no shame in trying to better your well-being. It matters the most!

Hope op for lil one goes well! Please keep us posted...i had sad news of my workmates crab sadly passing away.. it hurts to see pets going.

I am sure lil guinea will pull through ☺ it has the best owner for sure! Be proud of little things which brings joy..& to be honest, any breathing creature does ☺

Take care

S&B xx

Thanks everyone for the support I will reply back individually to you all when I am better.
Day 85 today and I'm off work ill with doctors later. I feel heartbroken and lost right now and cannot lift a finger. Gambling isn't of interest to me I just want to feel happy and loved again. Praying my hairy friend makes it through her operation, being at home alone without them has made me realise how much company they have given to me
When I've been deeply depressed and alone it's been a life saver to have them around to look after and the silence without them is hard. Duncan is right lost work hours is a temporary problem and my mental and physical help is more important so today is about getting rest x

Hey wilsy well done on 85 days mate great going,very sorry to hear about you being ill I hope you get well very soon,keep up the good work being gamble free bud it's good uve no interest in it for now,tmoro is another day mate,stay strong.

Day 86 Third day off work feeling run down and very low in mood. Going to pick up my Guinea pigs now then I have a whole weekend sitting by myself with my own thoughts as not been paid and can't go see anyone.

Girls are home, daddy is 160 quid out of pocket and now relax

Stay strong buddy your doing all the right things. It will get better and im sure you would have already noticed some personal improvements.

Keep at it.

Day 87
Sorry I've not posted back to any of you yet I'm waiting to use a computer besides I'm not feeling great and am just being quiet.

Hi Wilsy, well done on reaching 87 days without a bet , great going .... sorry to hear that you are not feeling great at the moment, but think how much worse things would be if you were still gambling and throwing your hard earned money away ..... keep fighting hard things will get better even if it dosent feel that way right now ........

Day 88
All is fine just lonely