Was ВЈ50k, now £14k in debt May 1st 2015 day one

Day 196

All is good still, had a split second earlier when I thought about gambling on Man city to hammer Swansea, but then just laughed at myself and said dont be a fool. I am so much happier then i was 6 months plus ago, i still cant believe I wasted some many years and so much cash on it, I have done so much in the last 6 months to my house and paid off debts, I cant imagine what sort of house I would live in today or how much money I would have in the bank if I had not of gambled.

night all rant over

hey dave...

just read some of ur diary, i am so proud of you!! well done.

i slipped again, but since my last gamble on june 8th 2011 have been going to a GA meeting in WSM. it really helps and i feel confident that i'm going to *** it this time. thought i'd log on here to see how some people were doing. like i said, really proud of you!

anyway, take care

jen xx

Day 197

Only 3 more days untill I hit the big 200!!!

I am really happy a friend of mine from when I 1st started this dairy Jen is back on here writing, I was very worried when she stopped. Nothing major to report apart from one more day under my belt!! Roll on Friday and that will be the big 200 days, I may even celebrate it!!

hey dave,

thanx for ur post... i didnt know there was a meeting in WSM either, it was my husband that found it after my last slip!! he took me there himself and came in with me for the first meeting. it was really scary, i didnt really want to be there either. it's a small group of us each week... all walks of life, all ages, but i have found the support there is great and have made some new friends. a couple of months down the line and i'm so glad i went. i go faithfully every tuesday.

would love to have a coffee sometime, just say when.

really glad you have told ur wife everything now... doesnt matter that she's the only one... she's the most important one to know everything... and hey... she's still there, so you cant be all bad!!

how's the football going? are you still playing? i started running again last week, bloody killed me, but is something that me and husband used to enjoy doing together. i'm just trying to enjoy doing normal stuff, been getting into the garden too.

chat later,

jen x

Day 198

Thanks for post Jen, and yes maybe next week we could meet up, it would be nice to talk freely about my issues with someone other then my wife!

Still (trying) to play footbal, also cricket! so keeping myself really busy, which is good.

Again a day without incident

keeping busy is one of the most important things i think... dont give urself the time to even think about gambling let alone doing it.

i have started my diary again with some daily goals for myself. i used to find that really helpful the first time round.

actually since coming back on here, i am feeling more positive again... i so want to get it right and just be a happy, content person.

take care

jen xx

Day 206

Still not gambled, and now passed the 200 day mark which I nearly forgot about!! Luckilly I had set it in my mobile phone, so it was a nice surpraise, I went to my local for a steak and chips and a pint on me own to celebrate!!

Keep going all

Day 208

Not alot to say guys, apart from I am skint again!! I am doing a bootsale tomorrow to try and raise some cash, so fingers crossed the weather is good!

Keep battling guys

Day 211 or just over 30 weeks!!!!!!

I am still 100% focused, I stoped tonight to have a look in the window of of a ** ** and there were two blokes playing the FOBTs one on the fruit machine and anothner on roulette, they both looked fed up bored and both kicked the machine in the space of 30 secs!! I felt like telling them to stop, but I know they wont listen and just think I am being an idiot. I had no urge to go in there and play them, which is great!!

I am now well over half a year without gambling, whihc since the age of about 10 is the longest I have ever gone without gambling. My goal now is the big 1 year, so February 1st 2012 is now set in my outlook to alarm on that day, so hopefully I will celebrate it in style (not sure what I should do to celebrate one year, but I have a little more time to think about it!!)

Take care all

well done dave... glad to see you're still so strong!!

at GA on a persons "birthday" they buy cakes for everyone!!! think you should do something really nice tho... you deserve it!

joined the gym at strode leisure centre this week... will be a good way of using up that free time now not spent gambling... still feeling strong myself, just trying to focus on all the great things in my life and enjoying my freedom.

money's been tight this last week, which has triggered some horrible feelings, guilt beingb the worst!! but i know it will get easier all the time.

take care

jen xx

Hi Dave - I know I'm the worst person for catching up on peoples diaries.

Really glad to see you are still battling away at the crease and motoring through the 200s. Good on you

I am happy with my progress getting towards the 150 and thinking about gambling less and less now.

Things could be better in other aspects of my life but I am grateful for not betting.

Keep strong pal.

day 214 over

Thanks for the post guys, it is always nice to see you are looking out for me.

Nothing to report apart from I am still skint, really want this year to be over so I can get my bonus again from work and hopefully pay more debts off. I only have 9 payments left on a loan I have with the bank which is costing me 475 a month, so once this is paid hopefully I can start living a semi normal life!!

Day 217 over

Gambling is soooo far out of my head now it is unreal. I have just read the first 5 pages of my diary, and it bought back all those sad feelings I had in me back then, and reminded me of how dark life was back then. Life is still tough at present due to lack of money etc, but I am not controlled anymore by the devil that is gambling so I am defo in a better place right now, evenif some days are hard.

Just remember guys how horrible and lonely it feels to be sat at those FOBTs wasting hours and thousands of pounds, thinking you know what the next number will be, because you have a way of knowing it!!!! bye bye FOBT's I HATE YOU

hey dave..

feeling great... almost at 100 days... all going well.

i'm sure the money situation will get easier... we are in the same boat!! just think how much worse things would be if you hadnt stopped!!

take care

jen xx

day 219

My little boy started school yesterday, so a very proud daddy at the moment!! As he walked up the steps to his classroom I could not help but think about all the money I had wasted and years I had wasted. The way I was 220 days ago, I can promise you I would have missed his 1st day or picking him up from it as I would have been in the bookies on them silly machines. Thank god I saw the the light 219 days ago and got to be part of the biggest day of his life so far.

I have spent sometime today reading peoples diarys, and reading the newbies diarys just gets me thinking back to the night of Jan 31st 2011, the night I was sat in my car in the middle of nowhere contemplating how I was going to get out of my mess, taking my life was an option bak then, but luckilly I found gamcare and phoned them. That person I spoke to most proberly saved my life, saved my children from losing their dad etc... So I am so thankful to that person for their help.

So life is still tough, but 100% better being 219 days into never gambling again!!