Was ВЈ50k, now £14k in debt May 1st 2015 day one

Day 298

Nearly at the 300 mark!

Been to a funeral today and it certainly makes you relize how happy we all should be that we are still alive, I am not realigous in anyway, but sometimes when you are in a church it does give you time to reflect on your life and see right from wrong

Have a good weekend all

Day 301

I had planned to celebrate day 300, but unfortunatley I did not in the end as I was left devastated by the news of Gary Speed. I always rated him highly as a player and a manager, now I am left thinking why did he do it ? I have been very low in my life, as I guess the rest of you guys on here have and sometimes I did think about ending it all, not only to help me but to stop me bringing my family down anymore. If you look at Speed, he had money, kids, a great job, etc etc everything looked great for him. I just wonder what will come out of this, was he a gambler, ***, cheating on his wife, just found out he was ill....????? whatever it is, there is always a way to sort the problems out, its so a shame he did not seek help. We all need help sometimes in our lifes.

RIP Gary Speed

Well said with regards to Gary Speed, it really has left me wondering "why?"

Let's make this a real wake up call for us all as to what COULD happen should we go back into this evil, dark, murky world that is called gambling.

And hey, make sure that you do celebrate day 300 sometime, you deserve it!

GT

Day 304

Still going strong, but I did have a dream last night about gambling which is the 1st time since the early days of quitting. I felt very strange when I woke up today, I had to stop and think if it was real, luckilly it wasnt!!

Dreams are funny old things, aren't they?

Last week I dreamt I was smoking (I stopped some time ago), and I woke up coughing. (Or maybe I started coughing when I was asleep and my body sent me the smoking dream). Anyway, I remember being very confused in my dream, I didn't know I was dreaming and I couldn't work out why there was a f*g in my mouth.

The brain is a funny thing.

Day 305

I have said this before, but I just do not know how I managed to gamble as much money as I did??? It just never mattered to me at all, and now money means everything. I just need to get to the end of Jan 2012, this will mark one year for me and also I will get my annual bonus, which I am hoping will pay off all my credit cards, these are what stress me the most now. Every month I pay the minimum on all 4 of them and the balance stays the same, so annoying. My loans are ok as you make a payment and you see the balance decrease, which is always a great thing to see.

Its my fault I am here in the mess, and I am so focused to pay it off, but it just seems to be taking so long

have a good weekend

nearly there, keep focused

and I just wanted to say a very big well done.

Day 308

Still not gambled which is getting easier and easier.

I had a hectic weekend, and today I feel very tired indeed. But I am working fromhome which is great! I have an interveiw on Wednesday as I am still not sure what the future holds for me in my company, so this is my back up plan. I have spent most of today preparing my presentation and trying to learn as much about the company as possible, but it is very hard!!!!

only 67days now until I reach the one year mark, this will be a big day of celebration for me, as this will mark the biggest change in my life for sure and the best change. Hopefully as well I will be able to pay a large chunk of my debts off as I should receive my annual bonus payment at the end of Jan, this is also a moment I am struggling to wait for, I just wish it would hurry up and happen!!

Keep strong guys, together we will win

Day 311

Still not gambled 311 days on!!!

Still not 100% sure what is happening with my job, it just seems like they tell you a little bit, then change their minds. Getting to the point now where I dont know what to do or think about it??? All i want now is the bonus money they owe me then I can focus on the future.

Things at home are still the same one min my wife is happy and within 1 sec she is moaning and shouting at me and the kids. She is stressed with work, but I just wish she could switch off when she walks in the door, its not fair on the kids

off to bed now in the warm, as it is one cold night tonight!!

Day 312

urggggghhhhhhhh my wife is really doing my head in. I have just had a massive row with her about her attitude and lack of attention towards the kids, and you guessed it I got the blame for it all!!

Not sure how much more I can take of her, I would not mind if I was able to have the odd conversation with her now and then, but no all she does is moan about everything, be stressed over nothing, shout, makes a mess all over the house it is unbearable. I feel like just stopping all the cleaning etc I do round the house just to see how long it would take her to realise that I am not doing it anymore. I am getting fed up and following her around and cleaning up her mess. I swear if I left her I would see her on Channel 5 having the house cleaned out, as she could not open the door!!

The only good thing from all of this is I would have normally made an excuse to go out, then gone to the bookies all night to escape, instead I am sat at my laptop writing this.

SOrry for the rant about my love life but I needed to tell someone!!!!

Day 315 or 45 weeks!!!!!

Well it all came to a head on Friday night I told my wife she needed to change her attitude, and we fell out. In the end yesterday I had to apoligise (for the kids sake) as she just kept shouting at me in front of them. However this seems to have worked, as she woke up today in the best mood for ages ???? Lets see which way the wind is blowing when she gets home!!!

Still not gambled 45 weeks today, only 7 weeks away from a whole year!!!! I know I need to do this for the rest of my life, so really one year will end up being a drop in the ocean (fingers crossed!!!) But it feels great to think how much time and money I have saved in the past 45 weeks from not gambling, and I dread to think how much more debt I would have now, if my wife and kids would still be around, if I stil had a house etc etc

I cannot win because I canot stop, I have to keep telling myself this even 45 weeks after I have stopped, stayed focused guys

Hi mate,

45 weeks is great and like you say nearly one whole calendar year. I know you say its a drop in the ocean but you have to start somewhere and you're doing fantastic.

Sounds like you have your hands full with the wife, sounds like my mother mate, never bloody stops moaning, but unlike you i haven't got to see her every day. Keep up the good work and don't let them rows become triggers to go and gamble because most people on here have let things like this lead them to gamble in the past.

Take care mate

Keith

Day 316

Thanks for the post Keith, it means alot

Well my wife came home last night in a good mood, actualy spent time with me and the kids and did not moan at all!! Then woke up this morning in a good mood again, so looks like by me asking her to change her attitude has worked, but for how long who knows!!

I am working away now for the rest of the week, so I will not see the family until Friday so I hope that come Friday she is still happy!!!

keep going guys

Day 319

Wife is still in a good mood, so this is great!!

I have money in my bank still and payday is tomorrow, this is the first time in as long as I can remember this happening!! Most Xmas presents purchased, so now finally things are on the up.

Still no urges to gamble, although I was in the pub last night with my brother and a few mates and they wanted to play 3 card, I said no and they all gave me hassle, but I just said I could not be bothered to play, in the end none of them did, so I saved them all money.

I hope you all have a great holiday period of none gambling, believe this will be the best present we could all wish for

Day 321

Still no gambling, and all calm in my house at present which if this can stay this way for Xmas that would be great!!

Staying focused going into 2012 is my plan