The forum is amazing, as it is the first and only time I am encountering a group of individuals who in-spite of their own circumstances and not really knowing anyone personally, possibly from their own experiences and life story , do not - will not - and would not wish the same for any one else, and would push, press and advice all in their own way with the only intent of not wanting to see someone hurt as they or their near and dear have.
In all our stories of pain, lies, deceit, addiction and unforgivable events ..... there is a purity and honesty that shines and stands out, which most people will not come across in their day to day lives be it work, home or friends (where more often then not there is always the give and take), and I really need to say a BIG THANK YOU to the members on the forum.
I wish you all the best.
@pica thank you for your reply. I don’t want to make my son feel any worse than he already does as I would never forgive myself if he did himself any harm. He keeps saying he can’t believe he’s done it again and always feels guilty for what he’s done in the past. I have told him I will support him but I am not willing to clear all his debts. I have a grandchild who will suffer if I do not help him. He’s told me today that he feels that he is constantly in debt because of his past gambling debts so starts gambling again as he thinks he can win it all back . Even though deep down he knows it doesn’t work! He wants to have all bank websites and credit websites blocked on his phone which I am going to look into. He’s not a bad person. He’s got a good job and is working so many hours on overtime . In fact he had got himself into a better position in the last few months so absolutely floored me when he said he’d done it again
He is going to ring a counsellor today but I’ve told him he needs help probably now for the rest of his life not just for 6 months
I would say bail him out only if you can ensure you get the money back or like others have said don't bail him out but at a greater cost bail him out by drip feeding him whatever he needs with whatever recovery plan he can get.
I don't know you or him, nor do I know your relationship with him but I'd advise to tap into his hobbies, skills, talents, early promises he showed as a youngster. Or ask him to paint a picture of a life in 10 years and help motivate him to get out of this rut.
ps been there before on a few horrible occasions but doing well now, with a wife and son against all the odds. I'm working towards a personal dream and regularly post or reply in here to keep myself reminded of the horrors of gambling recklessly.
Steven
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