Who am I?

Hello Who am I. Thanks for your post on my diary. I've just read through your lovely and honest diary. You've done so well. It fills me with hope and I'm so glad that I came back to where I belong. You come across as a really strong person. You can continue to find who you are and enjoy yourself on the way. Take care.

Mr B

Thank you Mr B. Do you know what I think you are right, I think I am alot stronger than I have previously realised.

Thanks Sharon, it is great to know we are not alone. You are doing great, I'm behind you every step of the way 🙂

Day 6.

So.. today myself and my partner got up mega early and went to watch the sunrise. There was a point when I could so easily have gone back to bed and slept through that alarm, but we didn't, we got up, went out and I'm so glad we did. It was really beautiful. Afterwards we did go back to bed and had a massive lie in! A perfect Sunday morning.

The rest of the day has just been calm and chilled mainly, lesuirely working through things that need doing, I still have a few bits to do before work tomorrow, but at least I will start the week focussed once they are done.

I've been on here alot today on and off, simply because it does help. Reading the diaries of others, making comments and taking time to reflect, I just sometimes wish I had the energy to comment on more people's diaries, but honestly I just don't have the energy and I know that's okay. We can't do everything, but we can do something.

Looking forward to reaching a week tomorrow. But for now a day at a time, that's just suiting me fine.

From yesterdays pain, I will draw tomorrw strength. If I can't always do this for myself, then I will do it for my partner. I love him and I want to put things right.

Goodnight all. Stay strong

Day 7 today.

I didn't manage to get everything done I needed to do for today, but that's okay. I went to sleep, a wonderful much needed deep sleep. I didn't even want to get up this morning.

I've missed sleeping well!

So glad your doing things you enjoy and have a calm time. I found the whole gambling cycle meant I was permanently on edge and panicky, so now even though the debt etc is not going to disappear by magic at least at the end of each day I know I haven't made it worse. I love the line ' we can't do everything but we can do something' take care and have a great GF day S:)

Good to see WAI back on her quest

Strong and courageous , so full of zest

Focussed and ready , she surely can cope

Her sweet little heart is brimming with hope

Thank you Sharon and Stephen 🙂

Sharon you are completely right, keep going and it will get better overtime.

Stephen another lovely poem, I feel blessed. Thank you so much.

Day 7.

I will not gamble.

Day 8.

Feeling positive. Got lots on my mind at the moment and any thoughts of gambling are furthest from it.

Well done wai

Its great that you have a positive mindset, things get better with time, keep going one day at a time.

Annie x

Day 9/10

Been so busy haven't had a chance to come on here, so just making five minutes for myself now to do so. I feel tired, happy and yeah just really really tired tbh 🙂

Day 9 successfully passed. Onto Day 10 now as its gone past midnight.

I felt so emotional earlier as I went food shopping and as I came out I just felt like the worst person ever for the situatioon I have put us in. When I spoke to my partner he simply said- 'You've got to stop beating yourself up over this, you've got to keep moving forward'.

At the times when I can't do this for myself, I will do this for my partner.

From yesterdays pain, I draw tomorrows strength, but I will not dwell on that pain, only use it to give me strength in order to move forward.

I am feeling grateful. Grateful for many things. Greatful for my partner and grateful for what a gambling free future will bring.

x

Thanks Annie, it's great getting to know ourselves again!

Hi WAI thanks for posting on my diary, all ok thanks 🙂 well done on day 9/10 I guess we have to ride these feelings of blame and guilt knowing that they will pass and slowly fade.I used to be in a 24 he state of what I can only describe as 'bleuuurrgh' but through not gambling and all the support here I know I'm only human, we make mistakes and need to eventually forgive ourselves. Which is the only way to move forward. Although it's a bit harsh I tell myself what's done is done. Have a great day and saying your proud of me means so much, take care S:)

Hi WAI hope your day is happy and contented .

Loved Sharons " bleuuurrgh " in the last post . Ha ha think it might be even more effective to rapidly shake head side to side whilst saying it !

Just off for a swim than cinema tonight ( 3rd of the Planet of the Apes films ) .

Take care ...... stephen x

Day 11

Still gamble free.

Thanks Stephen and Sharon as usually for your continued support. It is true I am proud of you both! Love the rose of Sharon, I have never heard of that before, they look beautiful. Enjoy your evenings.

Evening WAI . I'm therapied up for the day . counsellor this afternoon and gamblers anonymous meeting tonight with a swim in between . Great to see you back on the recovery road for the last 11 days . I know from experience how hard it is to get your composure back , to find courage and strength , to pick yourself up and try again .

From a selfish point of view , really missed you when you weren't around . I followed your progress from 17th May , your positivity and wisdom had a massive influence in the early days of my recovery . For that I will always be grateful .

Take care and have a lovely gamble free weekend ..... stephen x

Morning WAI

Hope the positivity is still flowing, you are doing great , hope you have a lovely and GF monday

Annie x