Why can i just not kick this????????????

Hiya Lib,

Thanks for your post him. Long time no speak (((((((((((((Lib))))))))))))) x

Sorry to hear that you've slipped back into the gambling S***e again.

I've been back for 11 weeks now. And surprised myself at how I have stuck at it. Hope you can do the same......

Dunno if you've still got my number? Give me a text if you need to.....

Golf balls are good taste. Growing up too quick! Hope yours are too.

Keep strong

Ade xx

Hi elizabeth40, I'm a newbie but thought you could do with another hello of support! Welcome back to recovery, glad to see you haven't given up on giving up 🙂

It's a long journey as you know but hope you manage a good sleep & wake up with renewed fight in you to stay on this path for good this time - ODAAT

Hi Simba...( if i remember rightly some very wonderful people called you like that 🙂 )

Soo good to see you finding your way bk to this forum. It's never too late to get bull by it's horns as they say and start this fight again. Wipe out the past and start afresh..from today.
You are never on your own and please remember to be kind to you. This tough and saddening feeling will pass..you know it yourself.

Hugs, strength and believe your way dear soldier.

Be kind to you..it will be better

Sandra xx

Thankyou Ade,Odat and sandra

Ade i havent got your number but i've still got your email if it hasnt changed.

Odat thankyou for the support.

Sandra i havent heard the name simba for a while and you've managed to make me cry thankyou for that because i needed to and havent been able to, and reminds me i need to start roaring again and protect my cubs.

My diary was a hugh help to me last time and maybe if i hadnt drifted away i would'nt be returning or maybe its just part of the journey.

This time last year i was in court trying to stop eviction which i managed (all down to gambling)i havent missed a rent payment or arrears payment since,youd think that would be enough to stop me in my tracks and it did for a while but what i find confusing is how i keep telling myself that i can control this when its quite clear to the world and his wife that i cant.I dont seem to be able to get in my head that i have to stop completley not just stop and try to control it.

Time to answer the same questions and fight the same demons ive been fighting for way to long.Maybe i just have to stop hurting and hating myself and find some happiness in my life.

time to get the cubs up and go to work and put my everything is ok face on.

Trying to be strong.

L xx

Hang in there Lib!

Bit busy today at work, will post later when I have a bit more time.

Feel free to e-mail me if you want/need to.

You know you can beat this.... for you and those golf balls.

Take care

Ade xx

Hi again Lib,

First things first young lady. Please stop hating yourself. You are a lovely fantastic human being that has just taken a wrong turn. We have all done it, and I know it's f*****G hard to pull out of that feeling from personal experience. But you are so much better than letting gambling win this battle. Relapsing and the hurt we feel after the relapse is horrible. You just need to come through this early stage of recovery in the good old time honoured 'one day at a time' fashion...

I know that you are a very strong person who has been here before and you are back here because you want to stop for good. You can do this Lib. Gambling is evil, pure and simple. You are sooooo much betterer than that! ;0)

Keep strong girl and do it for your lovely golf balls.

Talk to your mum too, she's always there for you i'm sure.

Ade xx

Hi Elizabeth 40,
I had to drop a note as can relate to all you've just said , I'm new here having upto about a year ago been 10 years in recovery and then got swallowed back up, so do not think your alone my last recovery I kept a hand written diary after getting rid of these 3 year ago feeling I had won, moved house etc (I think it helps to be able to get it all out honestly n truthfully) then I found here (sounds as if your an older timer on here) so well done on coming back :0) it shows you have fight and the fight is still there so hang on in there.
Just wanted to show my support and say well done no matter how many first days it's as I've been told the hardest fight is to never give up on giving up
I look forward to joining u on this journey and wish you the best of luck
we can do this one day at a time x

Thank you Ade and tt1980

The thing about these diaries is that no matter how alone you feel at the time you make one post and all of a sudden your talking to people who know excatly how your feel and the feelings of being on your own are easier to deal with.

Very long day at work today so have been to busy to think of any thing today,just trying to get to friday when i will have some more money,i've got just enough to get eldest to collage and i think ive got enough petrol to get to work and back tomorrow.

Financally things arn't to bad yes i'm going to struggle but i can do it, i have food,rent is paid etc etc so although i have about a tenner to my name i can get through that part of it.

I've decided not to try and pick apart why i started gambling again ,well not yet anyway i need to give myself time to just except what is done and put it behind me,i've put all the blocks in place on my computer as thats the only place i gamble and my wonderful mum is down on thursday and i will chat to her AGAIN about helping out with keeping hold of my money.

Going to get some dinner as i havent really eaten alot the last couple of days.

Being strong

L xx

Hi L,

Just popping in to hi, and I can see how strong you are already,

Wishing you the very best on your continuing recovery journey

Suzanne xx

Keep roaring Simba!!!! Keep posting and getting it all out. You are doing it, be very proud! 🙂

One day at a time

S x

Hi Lib,
Hope you had a good nights sleep hun.
Be good to see your mum and have a chat at about it all.

Keep strong and make sure you look after yourself my LLGGESBF!

Ade xx

Morning Lib,

Just a quick drive by, as I noticed you slipping down Page 2 there, and obviously wanted to check that my llggesbf was ok?

Hope all is good hun.

Keep strong

Ade xxx

Thanks Ade 🙂

Alls good.

Had a great chat with mum very emotional as always .she has been my greatest supporter and no matter what she stands by me again and again.

Still very tired but i find the emotional part of this process always knocks me out for a little while.Lots and lots of sleep,but for me thats a good thing as normally i dont sleep very well,so to get a few good nights sleep behind makes a hugh difference,

Another day with no gambling so onwards and upwards.

Stay Strong

L xx

Hi Lib,

Thanks for your post, and glad to hear you had a good chat with your mum.

Hope you got some sleep at the weekend...

Stay strong

Ade xx