Worms in my brain

Hello Camsmum13,

This is the cool thing about the diary. You can write as little or as much as you want. There is no hard and fast rule. It’s your diary, your way.

I look forward to reading your story when you are ready.

CJ.

stace86 wrote: Met you today in chat. Just want to say hope your ok and well done on day 3 with no bet. Stacey

Thanks Stacey. Sorry for B*******g off sharpish, I just couldn't hold back the tears and I didn't know what to say. Glad you were in the chat room though. Thank you x

CJ. wrote:

Hello Camsmum13,

This is the cool thing about the diary. You can write as little or as much as you want. There is no hard and fast rule. It’s your diary, your way.

I look forward to reading your story when you are ready.

CJ.

Thanks CJ, hope your ok x

Yep I’m pretty good thanks. How are you feeling?

Day 3 is it?

CJ.

CJ. wrote:

Yep I’m pretty good thanks. How are you feeling?

Day 3 is it?

CJ.

just finishing day 3 CJ. Most I've ever done was 67 days in the last 13 years. 13 years of hell, and I can't do any more. Much as I want a bet, I hate it, gambling has stolen so much, I can't let it take any more. Pretty cheesed off tonight, sleep in shift at work, except I'm wide awake as usual. Glad there's no way to have a bet tonight CJ x

Day 4. Really wanna have a bet, go away sheety brain worms. Finished work at 10am, nice wander around charity shops, and supermarket, really wanted to buy a lottery ticket, but didn't. Went to mums for a cuppa, home now having a lie down, tired. Problem with a late shift/sleep shift/early shift is I can't bloody sleep for toffee! I've noticed when I'm tired bet cravings are worse. Gonna have a quick hour then a nice bath before other half gets home from work. Resisted today, wasn't easy though, but reading other peoples diaries spurs me on. Might go to ga this evening, see how I feel.

stace86 wrote: Just wanted to drop by, say hello and hope your doing ok. Stacey

Thanks Stacey, how are you doing love x

Day 4 done Camsmum, you can do it. Just keep reminding yourself of what you lost and could have lost and it gets easier. Then when you have made it through a number of days you are happy with set a goal of number of days and shoot for them. If you fail, dont worry, try again and get back on the horse so to speak. 🙂

CJ.

Thanks CJ, really struggling tonight, should have gone to ga, couldn't face it. I feel so unsettled tonight, really want to have a bet, but don't, I hate these urges x

Hi Camsmum,

Oh no. I’m sorry you are having urges tonight.

Ask yourself this,

How did you feel the last time you bet?

How did you feel the time before it ?

If you lose how will you feel?

What is your happiest moment over the last week? Then month, then year?

CJ.

CJ. wrote:

Hi Camsmum,

Oh no. I’m sorry you are having urges tonight.

Ask yourself this,

How did you feel the last time you bet?

How did you feel the time before it ?

If you lose how will you feel?

What is your happiest moment over the last week? Then month, then year?

CJ.

I know what your saying CJ, this stupid obsession fools me, constantly. Last time I gambled I lost, but that bloody reel king potty has a hold on me like few other things has. So stupid, this crazy obsession has cost me so much but always wants more. I can't stand the thought of being like this forever more, drives me nuts. If only they could invent a medicine as powerful as the addiction itself. x

Don’t worry you are not alone. Reel King was my downfall also. I played for the features and didn’t care how much I put in until it came in. In the end I was spinning £50 for 5 spins. Just to get the feature that never came.

Add to my story Line by Line. Or even have a read. It’s a community effort. 🙂

Thanks CJ.x

Day 5. Been bloody horrendous today, almost climbing the walls. Had to go into city centre for a training course, managed to walk past a fruit machine arcade, had to cross the road to do it, but did it. Hate this evil bloody curse, I used to wish I could win the lottery, if I had one wish. Now, if I had one wish, it would be to never have a gambling urge ever.